The Lockdown Gang - still chatting ?

I hope everyone is well and recovering from the storm, and that all is well for Jan at sea. I happened to see a wind forecast in the online Guardian, and it said wind gusts of over 120 mph off the Needles!!

All your love stories and whirlwind romances are so very interesting! I’m sure there’s a book in there somewhere. And Muse - how fascinating about your career path. What did you do between leaving school and taking your degree? Yes, I agree, finding your niche is so important, and so many never find it. Even better is when your work is also your passion. Is there no end to your talents, young lady? That glass is absolutely stunning!
It’s terrible how the NHS, and even private hospitals are so swamped that surgery waiting lists are ridiculously long. The number of UK medical staff who are now resident in NZ is amazing-you have lost so much talent…just as NZ always has, with our “brain drain” benefitting the rest of the world. I hope everyone’s family members suffering from ill-health and awaiting surgery soon find relief.

Doodle - so glad you managed a good night’s sleep…you must feel so much better.

Grammaretto - you’re not having much luck with the matchmaking, are you! How lovely to have had the DGC there, and to have had so much fun with them.

Such a beautiful morning here. Beginning to become a little autumnal, but at least that means out early in the garden before the sun and heat. I really had to tackle the "herb" garden, which was literally a jungle. Fennel which had grown into trees at least 8 feet tall, and with huge trunks. Lemon grass taller than me, and with seed heads everywhere, rosemary growing into enormous sprawling bushes. MrJ (!!) helped!! He always pulled the "I'm from Manchester and we don't do gardening there" card. But he's taking to heart, rather too much, the doc's reprimand about my heart issues. Anyway, we hacked through the jungle, only to discover a sinister band of wasps gathering...we had stumbled upon a nest. Well, it was out of there for us, toot sweet. We'll spray the nest in the evening, when they're not so vicious. MrJ’s forte is, however, cooking. Yesterday he made the MOST gorgeous fish pie, with fresh and smoked hoki and shrimps in a cheese and parsley sauce, topped with mashed sweet potato. Last week, crispy beef with chillies and green peppers, and lamb burgers with a yoghurt, mint and cucumber dressing and a fresh green salad. He’s an experimental (!) cook and loves fiddling about with different spices and herbs.

I’m off to get on with the family research, having done my dash in the garden. I found a note book among my mother’s effects, and have just read it – notes about family that I had never heard of, including where my grandfather and his brothers went to school – Hereford Cathedral School. They have been incredibly helpful finding out details of their school life-winning prizes and playing lots of different sports, and even a photo of their House members, with names attached, from the 1890s – all new to me! So interesting. They (the school) were evidently quite proud of DGF’s older brother, who was a District Resident in Nigeria and wrote all sorts of esoteric papers about various Nigerian tribes, having troubled himself to learn the languages. He used to ride his bicycle, back in 1905 or so, all around the district, clad in typical British costume, including topi, doffing it to everyone he met, with his standard greeting : “What ho! She bumps!” Quite a character, but with quirks I shall describe another time-very interesting.

("She bumps", of course, refers to the roads in Nigeria in 1905...)

Good morning ?

Your comment on career paths got me Musing this morning Boadicea as it's fifty years ago this month that I first appeared on the Beeb and began the wonkiest career path ever. The same month my first article on environmental issues was published in the New Scientist. I was sixteen ?

I ditched the circus four years later when I married Mr M and we spent the next few years on foreign postings. I set up a design company when the DC were small and sold it when it began taking over our lives. Since then I have been a radio journalist, a health campaigner, a senior leader in education and I still sit on a Whitehall advisory committee.

If you analyse that lot I think I've had a career as a gobby opinionated person!

I really wanted to be a needlework conservator....? it's needlework and textiles of any kind that really float my boat but I can't quite stop sticking my oar into anything that interests me. Far too much confidence and too many opinions I blame my parents .

And what I really meant to say is that all of us rabbiters on here have lived such interesting lives with so many opportunities grabbed and obstacles overcome - I'm learning from you constantly and very glad to have got to know you.
Go Lobstars! ?

Wow, Mamissimo, that's quite a CV you have there! It must be very satisfying to look back over a life so fully lived. Where were you posted abroad? I'm sure you could squeeze one last career in, as a needlework conservator, before retirement, couldn't you? Yes, there are such a lot of talented, interesting, lovely people in this group. Who knew? Such fascinating stories. I look forward very much to having Kaimoana visit - I can imagine that we won't stop chatting and laughing the whole time! What a talented person that lady is!
I wonder how Jan is faring, en route through the Bay of Biscay-hoping the seas have subsided somewhat. She’ll be having a wonderful time, I bet.
Doodle - I do hope your allergies have settled…they’re right nasty, aren’t they? Do take care, with spring just around the corner. Tell the Dean we’ll take a dozen of his collared doves – wrap them up and have them delivered, please. They are such sweet birds. I hope he finds good homes for his much-loved animals.
Nfk How is your DH doing with the chest pains now? I really hope everything goes well. I’m interested in your comments about an iWatch…what does it do, and with the phone? Technology moves on so fast, and life in the Far North is so far from the rest of the world that I can’t keep up. I hope it does the trick, anyway.
Grammaretto - how did lunch with DMIL go? And how is the romance going? I hope you can pin down the sparky and Colleen together over a nice cup of cocoa. How is your DGS doing on his camp? I hope the weather is as settled as it is here.
DS2 messaged me an hour ago to say that he was just going in to the eye hospital for his surgery. Everything crossed. Such a critical day for him. He deserves to have something go right for him, after all he’s been through.

I agree Mamissimo I am knowledgeable on so many subjects from cruises to bruises,
thats all the rhyming for now
I have matchmade successfully before. With a friend. I had a lonely devorcé, she had a lonely widow. We set up a date for them and it was all good fun until 3 weeks later she phoned me in a panic. How well did I know him? What was he really like? Her widow had appeared with an engagement ring!
They married and lived happily ever after. Of course they did.

I am now more cautious but Colleen made an apple crumble today and took a big helping through to sparky. He's plastering up holes tonight.
I'm now trying to find her a job.

DGS had a fine time at camp and is writing stories about it.

Your garden sounds fabulous BJ as does your family history.

DMiL and DSiL came to lunch. I am about to watch the pottery throwdown.
Colleen has an early start tomorrow. It's her day off so she's gone to her room already.

Saw this on Quora...a trip down memory lane

Was life better decades ago, and in what ways?

I saw this on Facebook yesterday, and among British readers in their 50s and 60s (and older) it causes a lot of nostalgic regret for the much simpler way we lived in the 1950s and ‘60s. We all had a great deal less money, and infinitely fewer Things, but it was a peaceful, easy time. Great poetry? Possibly not - but many people will recognise it all. I liked those days...

Back in the days of tanners and bobs,

When Mothers had patience and Fathers had jobs.

When football team families wore hand me down shoes,

And T.V gave only two channels to choose.

Back in the days of three penny bits,

When schools employed nurses to search for your nits.

When snowballs were harmless; ice slides were permitted

And all of your jumpers were warm and hand knitted.

Back in the days of hot ginger beers,

When children remained so for more than six years.

When children respected what older folks said,

And pot was a thing you kept under your bed.

Back in the days of Listen with Mother,

When neighbours were friendly and talked to each other.

When cars were so rare you could play in the street.

When Doctors made house calls;

Police walked the beat.

Back in the days of Milligan's Goons,

When butter was butter and songs all had tunes.

It was dumplings for dinner and trifle for tea,

And your annual break was a day by the sea.

Back in the days of Dixon's Dock Green,

Crackerjack pens and Lyons ice cream.

When children could freely wear National Health glasses,

And teachers all stood at the FRONT of their classes.

Back in the days of rocking and reeling,

When mobiles were things that you hung from the ceiling.

When woodwork and pottery got taught in schools,

And everyone dreamed of a win on the pools.

Back in the days when I was a lad,

I can't help but smile for the fun that I had.

Hopscotch and roller skates; snowballs to lob,

B in thays of tanners and bobs.

Muse those glas sculptures are beautiful. I really like them. What a talented lady you are.
You had quite a career. Just goes to show people can get into education later in life. Our ‘other grandma’ did A level literature at over 40 and both my sons passed exams later in life. Not everyone gets on well at school.
46 years Muse that’s a long time to make the poor chap wait. Guess it was worth it in the end ?
Boadicea yes a good nights sleep is worth a lot. I woke at 8 this morning and thought I’d just have a few minutes stretching out in bed, next thing I knew it was 11 am. ?. I blame the antihistamines for making me drowsy. They are starting to take effect though I still look like a pink eyed panda.
I’m not sure I’ve ever seen fennel except the bulbs in the grocery store, I didn’t know it could grow into big trees.
Please send MrB to me by first class post, I like the sound of those lamb burgers with mint and could do with a break from the cooking. I promise to send him back when I’ve (filled the freezer) finished with him ?
That note book sounds interesting. I will look forward to more tales to come.
Mamissimo your à film star ?. Well I always knew the lockdown gang were a talented bunch. On tv at 16 wow.
What an exciting career you’ve had, I can see where your daughters get it from.
What countries did you live in abroad? Do you miss the travel?
Grammaretto so you really are a matchmaker. That was a quick romance for your friend too. Any luck with the electrician and Colléen yet?
I hope Sparky isn’t using Colleeen’s apple crumble to fill in the holes in your walls.
Good to hear your DGS had a good time at camp. I bet he’s a talented writer too.
Sounds like you had a nice day with a family lunch and now the Pottery Throwdown. Sleep well.
Boadicea what a wonderful rhyme. Yes it brings back so many memories. Thank you.
I had a frustrating day sewing today. I got the fabric caught in the sewing machine and had to dismantle it to get it out (my fault I was using the wrong foot). I have taken the needle plate off the machine so many times before and not thought about it. Today I couldn’t get it back. No matter what I did I couldn’t get it in a position where all the screws would go in the right holes. I spent over an hour huffing and puffing with it. In the end DH came to assist with a logical mind and after poking it and prodding it with a screwdriver and peering at it with a torch he fixed it. My hero. ? have a good night all.

I'm afraid I remember those days very differently.

Children were beaten with more or less no intervention unless it was life-threatening.
The NSPCC was known as 'The Cruelty Man'.
Women had to have permission from their husband to do almost anything, especially legal or anatomical.

Neighbours, if they didn't conform to some specious social standard, weren't seen as friends but made to feel outcasts.
Woe betide you if you were divorced, even if you and the children had been badly abused.

Solo parents, women of course, were 'no better than they should be' even if their plight was the result of some feckless male abandoning them.

And you could be beaten up or killed, put in jail to be so badly abused there that you often died - and no one cared - if you were gay.
You dare not show or expect love from anyone as your feelings were illegal.

People who freely accepted that heterosexual men did not lust after every little girl, assumed all gay men were abusing young boys.

Repressed priests, kind uncles and caring fathers were highly regarded, so they would never do anything so wicked.

Many children were lucky to have a hand-me-down which had gone though 2 or 3 older sibling, let alone hand knitted especially for you

Holidays, for the majority of children in my school, simply meant more time under your Mum's feet, not a day at the sea. The money was needed for food or rent. Especially if Dad spent his wage at the pub.

If you wore National Health specs, or indeed any specs at all, you were jeered at and made to feel like the poor disabled children who were also scorned and ridiculed.

Prejudice was rife wherever you looked and if you were a fat girl, fashion simply didn't exist.
Nothing in any shop fitted me, nothing pretty or smart or chic.
All too often I had to wear men's jumpers, or at best, frumpy stuff meant for the middle aged 'larger lady'.

I loathed rock n roll, my first LP was Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue with American in Paris on the other side.

Elvis and Cliff were irrelevant if I could listen to 'In the Depths of the Temple' from The Pearl Fishers, or Nessun Dorma.

I went, just once, to a rock concert with friends. I met my husband in that group and he follow me outside half-way through to escape the decibels. We sat and talked.

The concert finished later and my father, who had set a 10pm curfew (I was 21), yelled unpleasant things at me in front of my friends when I got back at 11pm.
I knew he would, it was 'My house, my rules'.

For my peers, it also meant leaving school at 15 to go into a job parents wanted. Factory, mill or Woolworths.

I fared a little better, I was put into the offices of a big woollen mill to learn how to be a secretary. No choice given, certainly not to follow the arts career I craved.

I handed my wage, intact to my mother and received pocket money: enough for bus fares to work and one pair of stockings (which, being held up by suspenders and far too small, cut into my thighs and left marks which are still there today.

We did have holidays in the Lake District and Scotland which I loved as it got me away from the city into countryside I loved.

However, I never owned any rose-tinted spectacles.

Life is SO much better today.
For some.

Kaimoana yes of course all you say is true as well.
I suppose a lot depends on what sort of life you were born into. It is easy to dismiss the hard stuff if it wasn’t the life you led.
My family weren’t well off but we always had enough to eat and had a decent home to live in. Life had been much harder for my family before I was born. By the time I came along my parents were much older than others and had got over the harder times. My mother had a very poor life until she met and married my father.
I was very protected all my life I think. Having two loving parents was a blessing that’s for sure. Not everyone was so lucky. x

I grew up in a very poor area Doodle, although we were better off than most in our street.

There were good times of course but my parents had never wanted children and we ruined their dreams, hopes and in Mum's case, her health.

We were never allowed to forget it, so treats such as holidays were always clouded by the knowledge that it would all be a lot happier if we weren't around.

I think this is probably why my parents ruined every single important milestone in my life: 21st birthday, wedding, birth and christening of my son and much more.

My sister fared better but strangely enough is far more bitter about it than I.

I realised in later life just why my parents acted as they did, never getting over the loss of the life they'd planned together.

And if I can say it without boasting, it was clear from my school reports that I was smart and they were envious of that too.

They'd never had chances at education, so denied it to me as well.

So I education myself.

Despite being told I was stupid, I proved I wasn't and went on to make a moderate success of my life

The dandelion in the dung heap - Ha ha ha.

Boadicea Thank you, that is a lovely rhyme and does remind me of all the good bits of my childhood. Mainly the freedom which children these days don't have. I do like poetry which gallops along and rhymes. Some of the modern stuff to me is no different from the really well penned descriptive passages in many books. The ones which I read over again because they moved me in some way.

And, Kaimoana thank you for putting things back into perspective. Nostalgia does envelope everything in a rosy glow. I was fortunate that I was much wanted and had a very happy childhood, if rather solitary at times. It wasn't until puberty - which I hit at the same time as my mother was in full menopausal doldrums - when the relationship between us crashed. Big time!

I saw my DGDs at the weekend (we drove half across the country to babysit so my DD and DSiL could have a rare night out at a friends 40th party.) It gave DH a chance to have lessons in what his new iWatch was capable of. DGD3 at ten years old was open mouthed when I explained that all this technical stuff was foreign to us Oldies as we'd grown up with no screens except very rare excursions to the cinema. She couldn't get her head around it and kept coming up to me with questions like "What about satnav? How did you know where to go?" as she stretched her brains about things like how long we stood on a corner waiting for a friend to turn up. I did throw in stuff like the lack of central heating, hot running water or indoor toilet but I don't think she believed me! I shall save the vision of my DM standing on a chair to plug the iron into the light socket for next visit!! Its reminding me of things to write up in the memory book my mother started. But first I will finish this family tree!

The wind is whistling around the chimney pots and the trees are lashing around, I hope the UK contingent are all safe and well with tiles intact. Take care All.

Kaimoana I’m sorry you had such a sad start to life. The things you describe I can’t imagine as my own parents were both so kind and loving. I was a very late baby, as I think I’ve mentioned before, but despite the fact it must have come as a shock to them they always made me feel wanted and treasured as the baby of the family. My brother and cousins were all grown up when I came along. I was a bit lonely not having any other young people around but made up for it with a vivid imagination. I was also extremely shy around people so being on my maybe wasn’t so bad,
Can’t help thinking your parents missed out on a lot. Shame they didn’t encourage you with all your many talents.
A sweet smelling beautiful rose with intricate petals I think, not a dandelion. ?
Nfk your story about telling your DGC about the ‘olden days’ made me laugh. Ours have similar shocked expressions when we tell them how things used to be.
Oh yes I’d forgotten about plugging the iron into the light socket and prior to that heating the iron on the stove.
My aunt and uncle having a tin bath in the hall that they used to lower with pulleys into the kitchen for baths on Friday nights. Putting the washing through a mangle. Not tumble driers then. The thing that shocked mine most was no TV I think.
Yes it’s pretty windy here too. Hope Jan is ok on her cruise.

Thing is, back in the 50s, our lovely maiden gt-aunts in Devon, godparents and elderly American friends of grandparents used to send us books every Christmas. They were all very cosy, featuring rosy-cheeked children, handsome fathers and buxom and beautiful mothers, out sledding, making dolls' houses, picking blackberries, watching robins in the snow. Granny spoke with nostalgia of spring in Devon, back in her youth, and DM, who, as a child, spent 2 years back in England in 1928-9, reinforced the longing for the Old Country. Our image of "Home", as our British grandparents called it was one of a rainbow land of thatched cottages, hedgerows and "lashings of ginger beer". MrJ, too, child of 1950s working class Manchester, bones-of-the-bum stuff, his Mum burning old shoes because they couldn't afford coal, and eating spam sandwiches until payday, remembers a place, not of hardship, but of endless love from a huge extended Welsh family, playing out in the streets, and a week every year in the Isle of Man. But his parents remained totally in love with each other, absolutely devoted to their children, recognising MrJ's intellectual talents early. When he won a place at the Grammar, the whole family, aunts, cousins, neighbours, all chipped in to buy his uniform - a new one - "nothing second hand for our G....." said his grandfather, who worked 3 jobs. His recollections of the scorn and derision of the fee-payers towards the "scholarship boy" were the only blight on his young life.
I do hope I haven't offended anyone, unintentionally, by the rhyme I quoted. It's obviously ignorance on my part about how it really was for so many, and for that I'm really, genuinely sorry to have been so insensitive. Mind you, the drunkness, domestic violence, child abuse, suppression of women, is not unique to any one culture - it was just as bad here. I was lucky in that my father never laid a finger on us kids, but also never played any part in our lives. My mother, on the other hand, was a bully, a narcissist and won the ladies' long drive year after year at the golf club - imagine what those muscles could do with a horse whip.

Hello Lobstars,
I seem to have come late to the nostalgia party.
I did enjoy the poem BJ though it is ofcourse one side of the coin.

Your DGC NfkD made me giggle. As someone who frequently got lost before getting a satnav, I also wonder how I managed without.
I waited for hours at the wrong station for DH and at the wrong bookshop for my sister . A mobile phone would have been a wonderful thing to have.

I went on a lovely walk today in snowdrop woods.

My dear BJ I am so very sorry if I hurt you, my bitter rant was not in any way aimed at you.

I did not grow up in a rosy Famous Five sort of world but one which contained abject poverty, cruelty and prejudice. So I get a little snippy when 'the good old day' are mentioned as if they were good for everyone.

If I'd thought it might hurt anyone, especially you, before hitting the keys, I would never have written any of it but it lives with me and sometimes bubbles up.

I'm glad for children who grew up loved, appreciated and encouraged and I envy them but I didn't.
I spent years wondering what I'd done wrong and desperate to change and please. I never managed it but eventually I got away from such restrictive hatreds.

I also apologise to any other Lobstars who may have been upset.

It was never meant as anything other than an attempt to balance views.

I'll get me coat.....

No you won’t Kiamoana. You can’t escape our gang.
As Grammaretto says, it’s the other side of the coin.
I’m sad that you had such a harsh upbringing but can understand from what you have written that it wasn’t rosy for you and your memories weren’t happy ones.
I liked Baodicea’s rhyme though, as it did remind me of things past before the days of mobile phones and sat navs.
All this gadgetry that we have these days. Some good changes and some bad. I worry for todays children and all they have to cope with too in different ways.
Grammaretto that is a beautiful photo. I love snowdrops. What a lovely place to walk.
Yes I could have done with a mobile phone too all the times I went to pick DH up from the station only to find he’d missed his train and I had to go back home again and then drive back for the next one.
You might wonder why I’m writing this at 2.30am. DS1 and family are coming for lunch here on Friday and half of them like savoury things and half sweet so I went to bed thinking about what I was going to do for lunch then my mind went on to whether or not I’d remembered to take the washing out of the washing machine or not. That went on to thinking about a programme I’d been watching earlier this evening and then I realised I’d been in bed for hours and was still awake so here I am filling in time on GN. I might try doing todays Wordle and Nerdle and then head off to bed. Sleep well dear gangsters.

Oh Kaimoana!! I'm so sorry to have upset you. Honestlyhonestly. As MrJ says - I'd rather have my hair set on fire and pecked out by ducks. I'm very aware that things were, and are, pretty awful for so many people, and that you had the most rotten ticket in life's lottery. But look at you now, lady! You sure showed them that you can't keep an amazing, talented woman down. I am in utmost admiration that you could not only survive what was thrown at you, but thrive, and raise beautiful children whom you loved with every fibre. (Lots of hat-doffing, or topi, in some cases...) You are a total inspiration. xx
And MrJ couldn't give a toss about those snivelling little snobs at the Grammar School, who probably ended up as emotionally inadequate, anally-retentive men-in-grey-suits, living a "life of quiet desperation", while he has had a wonderfully wild ride through life, with a bank balance of amazing memories which can never be taken away.

Or to quote Thoreau more fully (one of my absolute favourites) "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them".

Boadicea and Kaimoana I have an urge to give you both a group hug so here it is ?. You are both lovely people and I’m sure no upset was intended from either side.
I eventually got to sleep and DH has had a good night again. Such a relief. Hope everyone has a good day.
I am envious of the places you get to walk in Grammaretto
And luck with your match making yet?

Good afternoon ?

We've got the electricity back! Mr M and I have been in the dark since Friday so we're very happy to be able to see each other eat home cooked food instead of takeaways! We ran away to DS for one day to recharge all our tech but we've had to ration our use. Has anything happened?

I've been to Wisley this morning with the DGC for a walk in the sunshine. Huge drifts of purple crocuses, the perfume of Sacococca and witch hazel.....daffs....and a duck in the cafeteria who amused DGDs enormously.

What is it about men and doctors? Mr M sounds like he's heading for the graveyard but I can't get him to go to the doctors. I think he's got a chest infection but he says it's just a
Chesty cough. Tomorrow I will put him on a lead and drag him to get seen to.

My new air fryer has arrived so it's chips for dinner. ....hopefully!

Ooh Mamissimo wow was that the storm that cut you off.
I hope you didn’t get too cold. It sounds as though you coped ok. Good you were able to go and stay with your son.
I went to Wisley on a school trip years ago. It was beautiful.
I love purple crocuses …and the yellow ones. Haven’t seen any near here yet.
Well I hope you tell MrM it’s the doctors or the dog kennel for him. If you want a bigger threat tell him you’ll send him back for some more of my home cooking….., that should get him there. It is not wise to leave a bad cough run checked. Your right it could be a chest infection.
Ooh how exciting. An air fryer. I’ve never had one of those. Please let us know how you get on.
DH has just finished his dinner. Home made lasagne. It’s his favourite and apparently I cook it better than anyone……he is easily pleased. ?.
I’m now off to the kitchen to see what I can do to repair my apple cake that has two hills and a sunken damp valley in the middle. ?

Oh dear . I hope our Lobstar family is coping in our various adversities.
I'm having an early night!
My walk today ended with a fall in the mud.
That's twice in a week I think. I had just seen a beautiful rainbow. Nothing broken but the shock at my age

DH didn't go to the doctor either Mamissimo but had to go in an ambulance eventually. I am sorry you had such a long power cut.
I've just had notice of my fuel bill prediction. It is unbelievable!!
I can see I will have to sell up and move out before I get carted to the debtors jail.
I had a bill from the electrician today too.
DGD has covid
All in all it hasn't been the best day.

Oh dear Grammaretto what a sad little budget of news. I do hope things change for you soon.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

grammaretto hope you are ok. Did you just slip or trip over something? Bad enough having the shock of a fall without having to clean all the mud off.
Yes the fuel bills are scary. It seems to have come all of a sudden.
Sorry about your DGD Hope she’s ok and not too poorly.
That’s a lovely rainbow photo.
DH and I are off to some unit at the local hospital tomorrow. To be honest neither of us know what it’s really about. It something to do with his restless legs and his balance issues while walking. Hopefully, we will find out more when we get there.
Have you noticed a new series on the BBC iPlayer about lovely walks. I only spotted it last night and watched the episode on Ilfracombe. I will check what it’s called.

It’s aptly called Take a Hike. It’s not new, I must have just missed it before.
Sleep well all