How do I deal with a friend who won’t take lateral flow test before we meet

Sorry but if she won’t take your vulnerability seriously I wouldn’t be meeting her.

I suppose it could depend on what kind of meet up you intend to have e.g. fully socially distanced with masks on outside in the fresh air might be a very different thing to meeting indoors and sharing a table in a cafe or restaurant.

Has she said why she isn't testing?
Is it because she objects, or doesnt believe she needs to, or plain can't be bothered?

A good friend would understand why you ask her to test, and do so. It’s not much to ask.

I'm also clinically extremely vulnerable. I just wouldn't meet her and say why. If she's not interested in protecting you she's not really a friend.

I am car sharing with a friend tomorrow as we are meeting for a walk. She tested yesterday and says she will do so again tomorrow morning.

I agree she should test.

Don't meet her at all. If she asks why, tell her honestly, that you respect her right not to take a test, so she must respect your right not to dare risk meeting her as long as Covid 19 is around.

If she truly is a friend, she should then reconsider her actions, or agree only "to meet" on Face-time or Zoom.

I would refuse to meet her. She’s not much of a friend if she doesn’t want to protect you.

Thanks so much for all your replies. Your views are the same as my family. It helps to have your backing - I just don’t feel happy sitting at a small table inside for several hours.

I know it may sound silly but does your friend know how to test my dear stepmum is quite elderly she will do it bit needs someone to guide her.
As you are CEV it sounds a sensible precaution whilst Omicron is so rife in the community although if you are going to anywhere like a restaurant you won't know the status of everyone else present

If your friend won’t test and you do meet I guess it will spoil your time together anyway because you are likely to feel anxious.
I agree with rosie, has she even got any test kits, and if you are CEV at the moment I would choose very carefully where you go inside? For example with good ventilation and not busy.

i wouldn't be meeting anyone inside if CEV.
it's not worth dicing with your life.
go for a walk, coffee in the park, and certainly avoid this person.

I’m not at all clinically vulnerable, but still don’t meet anyone who doesn’t test. I could catch something, have no symptoms, and pass it to someone else.

It’s basic good manners.

I am not sure from your original post whether you have actually asked her outright to take a lateral test and she has refused, or if you just 'know' that she doesn't.
If you have asked her directly and she has refused then it would be foolish for you to meet her, so say so.

I just don’t feel happy sitting at a small table inside for several hours.

I wouldn't be doing that anyway, just now, and I'm not vulnerable apart from age.

Are you hesitant to say anything about your need for safety, to your friend?

What I suggest is you decide what you'd be happy with, e.g. going for a walk, having a coffee outside, then make those suggestions to your friend.

She may accept one of the suggestions or, if she's not keen, it would give you an opportunity to explain your reasons.

Please don't do something against your better judgement for fear of speaking up.

grandtanteJE65

Don't meet her at all. If she asks why, tell her honestly, that you respect her right not to take a test, so she must respect your right not to dare risk meeting her as long as Covid 19 is around.

If she truly is a friend, she should then reconsider her actions, or agree only "to meet" on Face-time or Zoom.

Good advice. Fair to her as you are respecting her right and expressing your own right!

Judy ' I just don’t feel happy sitting at a small table inside for several hours.' Do you mean in a cafe? If so I am sure other people in there will not have tested, so her testing is irrelevant. If in your home than I quite understand. As you are very vulnerable I would think outside is best for you anyway.

As Omicron is so transmissible it would be possible to be infected inside a cafe or restaurant. If anyone in there has covid there is a risk to you.
Even if your friend tested negative you are not safe from others. They won't all have done a test.

I agree with grandtante's advice. It's better to be honest about this now, rather than making excuses every time she wants to meet up.

Sorry loveOc crossed post.

How do you know she doesn't? If you are sure then don't meet her - or if she doesn't know how to you could explain how to do it. It's not hard now with the nasal swabs.
There is going to come a day when we stop doing them though but maybe not yet.

Just say politely and with a smile 'do you mind taking a LFT before we meet' and see what happens.

Our daughter is CEV and we wouldn't dream of meeting her without doing a test, She hadn't been to any indoor venues since the start of the pandemic.

My step daughter refused to do a test as she doesn’t believe in them, so she hasnt seen her elderly father for two years. Sad .It’s not much to ask !