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Am I being too cautious about covid?

(178 Posts)
NittWitt Mon 16-May-22 19:55:20

I am still going almost nowhere and meeting no-one except sometimes seeing a friend for a walk and going to the supermarket at quiet times & sometimes the post office etc if needed. I still wear a mask to the shops.
As an older person, 68, with a relative living with me who has health problems, not CEV tho, am I being too cautious?

Is anyone else still being as cautious as this?

cc Wed 18-May-22 12:37:26

I've not had my second booster yet, though DH (dodgy heart and 75) has had his. He no longer wears a mask in shops or on public transport, but I do.
Despite masks I've had two awful viruses in the past three months, presumably caught from grandchildren.

gulligranny Wed 18-May-22 12:46:32

DH is CEV (but the second lot notified early last year, not the original lot) but we've both had all our jabs including the second booster so at 81 (him) and 76 (me) we are not wasting any more of what's left of our lives by hiding away.

Nor are we being stupid, but rather are living as we did before lockdown; so we're going to our U3A events, meeting friends, going to the cinema and theatre, eating out on occasion and just generally getting on with it.

nipsmum Wed 18-May-22 13:12:26

At 81 with no serious health issues and now had 4. COVID vaccinations, I do more or less what I want and like to do. I don't wear a mask unless in a medical environment where they are still required. I was a nurse all my working life and started in infectious diseases aged 17 in 1957. Covid will be with us for a while.i would advise anyone to continue to do what they are comfortable with. If your happy wearing a mask, don't listen to what anyone says if they don't like it

Moggycuddler Wed 18-May-22 13:15:32

Yes, still very cautious. Wear masks if we go anywhere where there are people in close proximity. Always try to stand away from people if possible. Open windows wide in taxis and wear masks. Use sanitisers etc. Better safe than sorry.

NittWitt Wed 18-May-22 13:30:14

I'm glad that a lot of people only had mild symptoms.
The posts from people whose symptoms were not mild, tho, give pause for thought especially the long term effects.
I was never afraid of flu, and rarely got it, but I would have been afraid if it had long term effects like covid does.
If my relative decides to start mixing with people - we both have interests that mean being indoors with others - I will do so too.
I don't think I can justify deciding to take more risks when that could result in more illness for them.

NittWitt Wed 18-May-22 13:31:17

* for my relative.

Treetops05 Wed 18-May-22 13:33:43

We are, as we live with my 91 year old FinL., we get some funny looks still in masks and sarcastic comments occasionally, but I say we don't want to kill an elderly relative...we are 56 and 66...

Bluesmum Wed 18-May-22 13:36:26

I am a lot older than you and, apart from being sensible and avoiding obvious risk areas, the only other precaution I take is wearing masks in shops. I managed to test positive a couple of weeks ago having been advised to test after being told someone I had met a few days previous was quite ill with the virus, but all I had was a sore throat for a day and an irritating cough for a few days, I never felt ill at all. Isolated of course and I tested negative on days five and six, so yes, I think you are being too cautious. I have had all my jabs and am flying off to Australia in a couple of months!

CleoPanda Wed 18-May-22 13:43:31

Having been very ill with Covid right at the start, many moons ago and having lost a dear relative to the virus, I’ve been ultra cautious ever since and continue to be so.
The masks are to protect others in case we are asymptomatic and are surely something we all still must be doing in places where there are others?
I’m afraid people blithely proclaiming that they had Covid and it was nothing much, make me want to spit at them!
I couldn’t face being ill again or infecting a vulnerable person.
I have relatives working at hospitals - people are still getting extremely ill.
Long Covid can be extremely debilitating - I have a medical friend who is suffering from this.
All in all, I’m staying cautious and am satisfied it’s the right thing to do…for me.
The risk takers will always say they’re right and tend to mock those that want to ensure their safety. Quite often, they don’t consider that they may be inadvertently making someone else poorly.
Each to their own, but being blasé and self centred doesn’t always work out well.

Hetty58 Wed 18-May-22 13:44:02

No, I don't think that you're over-cautious NittWitt. Anyone over 40 is more likely to feel very ill and take longer to recover. The infection rate is still high but, thankfully, it's mainly milder cases. Anyone who's a carer is worried about being out of action, as who would take over?

sandelf Wed 18-May-22 14:34:00

What Septimia said. It's not good for you to be feeling sad. Make small changes that help you feel happier - you don't want to feel you missed summer. Don't feel you must do things just because some people do them. - Mine is public transport - won't go when it is busy, will wear mask. We are all different.

Speldnan Wed 18-May-22 14:48:57

I’m still very cautious. I have had all the vaccinations but I read that a lot of the effect will have worn off by now. I wear a mask in crowded places and would never risk going to the cinema or a concert. I look after my 94 YO mother so cannot risk catching Covid and not be able to see her. Would rather not catch it anyway- or flu or even a cold for that matter!

GrammaH Wed 18-May-22 14:55:36

We're more or less back to what we were doing pre Covid. I'm 64, DH has his 70th on Monday, we've both had 2 vaccinations. We live in the heart of the countryside & felt extremely cut off through the lockdowns though of course we're lucky to have open space to walk. Now, we're shopping in town, we've been to several parties and are having one ourselves at the weekend, we go to the theatre regularly, we have a trip to Italy booked next month & we eat out regularly. After 2 years, we were sick of hiding away but everyone feels differently. Some good friends who neatly lost their son to covid in Sweden are still being extremely cautious which I can understand to a degree but, in my opinion, life does have to move on.

Marydoll Wed 18-May-22 15:00:19


I've had 2 vax & booster, relative had 2 vax & won't have booster because of feeling very unwell after them.

I have been thinking about this. I was very unwell after two doses of Astra Zenic, which was the only vaccine offered here for those of us who were CEV and immunocompromised. I had to report the side effects to the Yellow card scheme, they were so severe.
Before my third Primary, I started doing my research and discovered that AZ offered only 40% protection for most people like me, who are immunocompromised.
When it came to the third Primary, (not booster), I insisted on Pfizer or Moderna. I received Pfizer, after a detailed discussion with the vaccinator and the doctor on site. The doctor admitted I probably knew more about the efficacy and side effects of the vaccine, than he did.
My booster was also Pfizer. I hope to get news of my fifth very soon.
My feeling is that patients like me, need to be proactive and take responsibility for our own health, we shouldn't be expecting relatives to moderate their activities, although my family did willingly.

NittWitt, could your relative not speak to someone and ask about alternatives, rather than rely on you to be careful.
Off course, vaccination is not the be all and end all of avoiding Covid, but for most, along with taking preventative measures, it does lessen the risk of being seriously ill.

If your relative is vulnerable, he/she should have been contacted recently by NHS offering advice ,support and access to testing and anti-virals.

I feel quite sad for you. No-one is insisting that you go out and about again, but you should at least have that choice.

Philippa111 Wed 18-May-22 15:03:23

Hi NittWitt,
I think it's a very individual decision. Some people with all the vaccines have caught Covid and some unvaccinated haven't. I was very cautious for most of the time as the tales of long covid from a couple of people I knew of sounded horrific.. and some still have it months on. Other people who have had it more recently say its just like a really bad cold but extra grim for about a week.
Personally I haven't had it and have no desire to get it and so I still wear a mask in certain situations., on the bus, in the supermarket etc.. I am one of very few but I don't care as it makes it possible for me to go out and about more.
We can't be prisoners for ever and so I think it's about taking calculated risks to get some quality of life back. I'm a very healthy person usually.

Skye17 Wed 18-May-22 16:39:55


I'm glad that a lot of people only had mild symptoms.
The posts from people whose symptoms were not mild, tho, give pause for thought especially the long term effects.
I was never afraid of flu, and rarely got it, but I would have been afraid if it had long term effects like covid does.
If my relative decides to start mixing with people - we both have interests that mean being indoors with others - I will do so too.
I don't think I can justify deciding to take more risks when that could result in more illness for them.

Flu can have long-term effects the same as Covid does. It’s one way that people develop ME/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. This can also happen after other viruses such as glandular fever. Long Covid is probably Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) plus added problems like lung damage. I don’t think it’s worth hiding indoors for fear of CFS when that was a risk before Covid. Doing this poses a different risk, to mental health.

I have gone back to normal and it makes a great change. I will wear a mask where requested but not otherwise. I am only a bit younger than you.

I agree with Casdon.

If your relative has had medical advice to have a booster, and prefers to risk more severe Covid than necessary rather than feel bad after the booster, that is up to them, but I don’t see that it means you have to stay in at the risk of worse mental health. They could try another type of vaccine, as suggested.

2mason16 Wed 18-May-22 16:40:48

My DH and I have returned to normal at last. We have days out, eat in restaurants, see friends and shop. We both had covid (after 3 jabs) mild symptoms 1 month before we travelled to Australia through Abu Dhabi and back. We have been very lucky and enjoying life again

Daffydilly Wed 18-May-22 17:01:35

I'm CEV and working full time outside the home. Recent health issues have made me realise I have to live while I'm alive. I'm fully vaccinated and haven't had covid. I know we all have to march to the best of our own drum but it's what I want to do.

Marydoll Wed 18-May-22 17:06:29

Daffydilly, that's exactly how I feel. Within reason, I don't want to spend the end of my life stuck at home! No second chances for me!

sazz1 Wed 18-May-22 17:08:28

The thing with covid is it attacks everyone differently
DD 27 yrs very ill 3 months to recover fully vaccinated
DGS caught covid twice CEV severe asthma not vaccinated due to age. Fully recovered in 1 week both times
Child age 6 in DGDs class long covid and heart problems no known previous health problems
DGD not vaccinated due to age temperature for 24 hrs no other symptoms
Teacher at DGDs school long covid 1 year heart lung damage fully vaccinated
My BFF 72 yrs not vaccinated caught covid ill 1 week only

There seems to be no pattern to the effects of this virus whether young, old, vaccinated or not from what I've seen amongst family and friends.
It's not about general fitness either as DD was very fit and active.
I'm just carrying on as normal as numbers infected are dropping and I've had 3 jabs

ClaraB Wed 18-May-22 17:13:03

I am 64 and during the pandemic became immunosuppressed due to medication I now have to take. I've had 4 jabs and will have a 5th next week as I'm now classed as vulnerable.

We've been very careful throughout, but last month went on a 'plane and have started meeting up with more people, having the odd meal out and trying to get back to normal but it's very hard. I've now been to the supermarket and shops and always wear a mask, but know I have to try to get back to 'normal'.

I think it is very difficult for anyone who is not vulnerable to understand how a vulnerable person feels when you know you could be extremely ill from Covid. Luckily, I know that I will get anti-virals should I catch it, I almost feel as though I need to get it over with as I believe we will all get it eventually.

Ladyleftfieldlover Wed 18-May-22 17:28:42

I think we’re pretty well back to normal. We’ve each had three jabs. Both of us had covid - OH not as severely as me even those he’s asthmatic! I still suffer from odd extremely tired moments, but they are improving. We’ve been to the cinema, restaurants etc. I only know one person who won’t mix indoors and still wears a mask outside. As someone pointed out, life has to go on and so long as we’re sensible, this is what we should do. I’m off to my WI meeting tonight. We’ll keep the windows open and one or two very elderly ladies will wear a mask.

LinkyPinky Wed 18-May-22 17:51:02

Because of the multiple long-term health issues now known to result from a covid infection, it won’t be long before a covid history will affect your insurance. Insurance companies are already beginning to ask this question. In the U.K. we still have an NHS free at the point of delivery, but this is under threat.

Saggi Wed 18-May-22 18:20:19

I’ve had the three jabs I’m entitled to and since then I’ve had Covid twice…. first time , in January, it lasted about 4 days….the second time was in March ….. now have king Covid ( mostly just fatigue and cough that refuse to find a new home. No I no longer wear masks and avoid people. If you’re gonna get …you’ll get it.

Cabbie21 Wed 18-May-22 18:22:46

I was planning to visit my sister in her care home tomorrow, but they are not allowing visitors this week as some of the residents have Covid. In fact it is over two years since I saw her. Each time restrictions were lifted, they had more cases, or I did not feel it wise to go, then just before Easter I had covid myself. Finally, with recent antibodies and my fourth jab, I felt it was safe, but no, more Covid. Will it never end?