🦞🦂 Lobstars 🌟 still shining bright 🦞🦂

Gosh, I popped back in at just the right time. Congratulations NN. What a lovely photo of a lovely couple.

I've just about managed to catch up with the news, but I only really called by to apologise for going AWOL. Everything has piled up on top of me lately, on top of which my laptop updated and I couldn't find anything in all the new 'improvements'. The keys seem to sometimes do things they didn't before. Perhaps I should have read all the stuff which it re-opened with about what I can now do - which I don't want to do!

Also, it's approaching the two year mark since I became a widow. But I don't feel like a widow. I still feel very much a wife. On the other hand, I also find myself sort of enjoying my independence to do what I want when I want. Then I feel guilty and keep finding myself remembering and reliving stuff I don't want to remember or relive. All will be well, the confusion will pass I'm sure, but I'm best to absent myself for a bit. XX

Come in and post whenever you like NFK it’s good to hear from you. Hope you and Kira are coping in this heat,
Grammaretto i Hope everything went ok.
Love to all

Nfk Of course you are still a wife! These are just words.

Yes, it is hard to come to terms with an altered lifestyle but you are wisely remembering the good as well as mourning what's lost. I am sure it is the same for all of us bereaved.
Maori say, kia kaha - continue to be strong. Not always easy but never, ever a cause for guilt.

I've been comparatively quiet because I too have a huge jump in reality to accept and it's causing me a lot of anxiety.

In addition, I just heard that because of the swingeing cuts by govt, our elders group may have to stop.

Many social groups have gone to the wall, including the Mama & Baby group run by Waipareira, so we are not alone.
I've done my bit by alerting our lovely young facilitator to free venues and she already knows we will all contribute food. I am hoping for the best.

Firstly, Naughtyneine - how ely and lovcomfortable together you both look. (and there was no need to be concerned about the headband it is perfect.)

Wishing you a strong and caring married life together with plenty of joy and happy times to help you through any tough ones.

NfkDumpling don't feel you must keep away - we all go through difficult times and sometimes just need to say it and we can be held a little in each other's arms for a moment of respite.
Thinking of you 🙏

Congratulations to NN & DH, what a wonderful adventure.

Always feel you can share with your friends here Nfk
Never feel guilty. I like to think DH is proud of me trying to be strong and muddling along. I am sure yours will be too.

Kaimoana that's such a bummer when such important things like your Elders group are threatened.
We are mourning the Arts Centre. I can't quite believe it had to close.

I had my cataract operation which went OK though not nearly as efficient as the first one. I waited for 4 hours having arrived at 7.30am. There was an emergency which took precedence and a woman, who had been chatting with me for hours, had a bleed and and needed stitches. Poor soul.

I must take it easy today. No gardening, lifting or swimming.

I'm looking forward to hearing more about the day Naughtyneine when you have time.

How are you surviving the heatwave? Doodle??
It's just nice here around 20°.

My DD is on holiday in the North of Scotland. It rained all day but they still enjoyed it. My next Helper is a woman escaping from Italy.

I’m heading up to visit you Grammaretto it’s over 30 here. Too hot for doing anything,
Glad your op went ok. Hope you’re relaxing comfortably at home now.
Strange phenomenon I have just discovered. When it’s cold and you cry, tears feel warm on your cheeks, when it’s hot, they feel cool.,
Kaimoana I’m so sorry your elders group may have to stop, I do hope an alternative venue is found and it can carry on.

I am sorry you are crying, cold tears or not Doodle. 😢
That phenomenon is curious.

You are most welcome to come to stay. Although it's even colder now and raining.

I'm quite enjoying my lazy day, especially as I've had 2 visitors. Another good reason to live in the town centre - people can easily drop in.
I must finish the food safety course and get a certificate. It's too easy to put it on pause and leave it till later.

How do you spend your time when it's so hot?

Doodle please come and weep on our shoulders.
We are, I believe, all sending you love and strength.
🙏

Thank you all. I’m doing ok. The tears still come every day but I’m trying to keep myself busy. I realise I am very lucky i have friends and family close by.
I’m into the second year now which so many people say is worse than the first and I can understand why. Reality has set in I think.
Been to have my hair done today. I went in looking damp and bedraggled and 10 minutes after coming out I just looked the same 🤣🤣. At least my hair is clean.
Is your home in the town centre *Grammaretto? Sounds like a good place to be.

www.facebook.com/share/v/18X8uGP6Zw/

Sorrry NN that link says I don't have access.

I tried that Facebook link NN and saw how to get rid of bunions!
How did you know!😳
🤣 😂

We had torrential rain yesterday yet seagull chick is still flourishing and its scary parents are still swooping whenever I step outside.

I have an agent coming today to inspect the wee flat for letting out again. I don't think I can afford to live here without some rent money but also those intruders left me feeling more vulnerable than usual.

I do live in the town centre Doodle. It's a mixed blessing. I'm handy for shops and buses but also near to a noisy pub and deserted shops at night. I am on the edge of the town too and high up so have open views for miles.

How are the Lobstars faring?

Sorry NN I can’t access your link either.
Grammaretto you need to have a home where you feel safe and within short distance of places you want to visit. Like shops or cafes Hope you get a suitable tenant soon
Kaimoana sending hugs
Sorry can’t write much tonight shooting pains in wrist think I overdid it in art xx

Oooh noooo I was hoping you could all see me leaving the church and arriving at the reception in a tractor and trailer. I'll try and upload it a different way
Thank you for all your lovely comments on the photo....it was certainly one of the better ones..
It was a perfect day...the sun came out as we left for the church. M and R ( Thelma and Vera) in the front, me poured into the back...we did get some funny looks when we drew into a Tesco Express to get some bottles of water.!!!
My former neighbour stepped in to walk me down the aisle as our dear friends from Corsham were unable to come). I had chosen a piece of music called In the name of the Father by Enrico Morricone from The Mission to come into and it's wonderful uplifting notes filled the church.
The mass was everything I dreamt it would be...we chose hymns we hoped people would know...Amazing Grace at the beginning and the almost catholic anthem Our God Reigns at the end saw me jiggling at the altar. Our wonderful friend played Ave Maria on the flute while we signed the register
I was very glad I'd bought some waterproof mascara the day before as I did stumble over a few lines of my vows but didn't actually cry
I can share with you ( I haven't with anyone else)...there was a tiny part of me that hoped I'd see my 4 beautiful girls in the church but it was not to be and in fairness It may well have not got back to them that I was getting married. It was a fleeting moment only.
The tractor and trailer ride was brilliant...getting onto the trailer was hysterical..at one point I thought DH was going to put me over his shoulder and turf me on but a set of steps appeared and after a few false starts due to me being in fits of giggles we were both ensconced on a sofa ( I know..an actual leather sofa) and off we went... We were hoisted and clapped and waved at by so many people on the way..( it took over half an hour and ooh it was hot but it didn't seem to matter). I couldn't stop smiling..(I don't think I did all day).

The reception was held at an Inn in the country and my friend ( the one whose 60th I had been to in Spain two weeks before) had dressed the room...cream chair covers and dusky pink bows etc and another friend had filled jam jars with cottage garden flowers....nigella. sweet peas... antirrhinums and they looked glorious. I didn't dare eat much of the gorgeous carvery as the dress was fitted and clinging to those newly measured 32H bad boys ( that's ridiculous) and to put any further strain on the zip could have been disastrous The groom and best man speeches were brilliant...a couple of slightly risque moments were greeted with lots of loud laughter especially when the best man cleared a space on the table in front of us and then asked me to put my hand down and then asked DH to place his on top and then said to DH ....,'make the most of this moment...it's the only time you'll have the upper hand'.
The singer was fabulous as always...we had to book him over a year ago...that's how popular he is...our first dance ( shuffle) was to one chosen by DH called Special by The Dualers I did nearly weep then as I don't recognise the person that others seem to see me as..our parish priest in his homily had mentioned so many lovely attributes that I wasn't sure if I was wearing a tiara or a halo at that point Maybe we only see our imperfections clearly... That comes far more naturally to me I soon recovered though and stomped my way through 500 miles. The final song was Perfect by Ed Sheeran and the only thing that would have made the day even more perfect was if Andrea Bocelli had appeared half way through and sung it in Italian as he does on a collaboration with Ed on my favourite version.
We had a day filled with love, surrounded by people who wanted to share our happiness.... And guess what...I had so little to drink ( half a glass of prosecco to DH 2 glasses of red wine) that I drove us back to the shepherds hut we were staying in that night
Part two to follow if you are all still awake

NN what a wonderful day and how well you describe it. I love the thought of the tractor and trailer. What a special day. Thank you for sharing it with us. Can’t wait for part two xx

That was such a wonderful account of your wedding NN and I read every word. Part Two please
I'm so very glad you had a glorious day, not just sunshine but so many loving memories to look back on. The ideal wedding day in fact.
May your life together be as joyful.
I'm assuming your daughter ignored their invitations, so very sad.

An absolutely wonderful day altogether, by the sound of it. Congratulations. Yes, part two would be good please!

What a beautiful day NN.
Thank you for sharing it with us.

Doodle, I'm sure that being incapacitated must make you miss your dear other half even more (if that's possible).
Feeling weak and alone must add to the feelings of loss.
I know you aren't truly alone because you have your lovely family but that special person would have been your special help just now, I'm sure.

Thinking of you and your painful wrist.

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202507/medium-8d65sr-1000034239.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202507/medium-elxey6-1000034231.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202507/medium-6sr5m7-1000034227.jpg

Grammaretto I hope you find someone just right (to also keep you "afloat").
Thinking of you too, and the ongoing saga/dilemma regarding your future home.

I think I should just send to everyone as we all seem to be struggling/inching uphill at the moment... at least we (mostly) see there are inches of forward movement - no falling backwards please!

On Thursday our lovely oldest daughter came to relieve us for a few hours.
We had a late get-out as the care worker, community nurse, the Occupational Therapist and the podiatrist all arrived within about 30 minutes of each other. They all (other than the carer who had been before) needed information.

Eventually we got off and went for a swim. Well, I swam and mrNS used the gym as his (newly developed) eczema makes him nervous of swimming (which he loves).

Then we went home to water the flowers. I could barely set foot inside as the house was desolate and chaotic all at once where we had been popping in, rummaging around and dumping stuff and leaving.
It was a grim sight.
I couldn't bring myself to go upstairs at all.
Momentarily I thought I'd like to have a nice joyful perfume to take back to my mother-in-law's with me but knew I would be overwhelmed going upstairs.

Lots of my husband's beautiful birthday lilies and other plants in pots at the front were quite sad.
Lots had "gone over". The back garden which was doing so well before, was back to being a jungle - and the raspberries were withered on the canes. I only had two or three gooseberries left that I could reach...
The only things thriving seemed to be brambles and climbing weeds - how dare they be so lush when everything else is suffering?!

I managed, on arrival, to fall heavily onto my bottom as I tried to step between pots to get close to the surviving lilies so now I have a bottom so bruised it's painful to sit/lie on it!

On Friday I went for a doppler scan of my left foot as it's been swollen since my stroke. I finally convinced my GP to have them look at it about a year ago and they sent me for a x-ray thinking arthritis (which I've had since a girl and know it's not that). I think it's some weird neurological thing.
Anyway, both my feet have the same (correct) blood flow apparently and my ankle/foot pulse was checked and was the same in each.
But the left foot is ballooning up and the right is staying perfectly normal.
I need to go back to my (incredulous) GP who says he's not seen this before (well at least he's honest) to see what he suggests next... I hope it's something in depth now!🙏

There was something nice at home though - the surviving lilies are glorious. I wish I was there to smell that sickly sweet but unctuous perfume in these warm "continental" evenings.

Grammaretto - I hear you have a birthday coming up?
Is it very soon?
🎂

No my birthday is next month NotSpag. I like to remind people that they'll have a birthday coming up because we all do.
I used to count the days down when I was a silly teenager, always wanting to be older. Well I got my
wish 😂🤣

Your poor swollen foot! I hope you find out why and can treat it.

Lovely lilies 😍
Poor Doodle too with her still achy wrist sending hugs 🫂

Seagull chick survived the stormy weather but not showing signs of flying. I picked flowers this morning but had to take cover under trees to avoid the angry swooping parents.

Your seagull chick looks fed up and menacing in equal measure!