Aladdin and his Ugly Sisters, aided and abetted by cows, dragons, and many other dodgy characters. Oh yes and a sprinkling of fairy dust"

Ugly Sister enters stg rt, carrying a BEDPAN ?????

hello everyone, Sister Jugular here. don't you think I'm beautiful, it has taken me hours to look like this (does a twirl) some say I'm conceited, but really, I'm only a little vein.
Matron asked me to find the Barron and give him these because he is full of sh.... The box says they are suppositories, but I've lost the instructions, do any of you know where I should put them ?

Waits for audience ............

Wobbly how about this?
I am a sexy nurse
I'm going down the drain from bad to worse
I drive all the doctors wild
Sister says that I'm a problem child

Do you like that?

Can't turn down a sexy nurse.

[Tinkerbell descends on the winch scattering clouds of very sparkly fairy dust] Hello everybody. Tinkerbell here. I heard that Hanky Panky was looking for me to climb that huge bean in his garden to see what was moaning at the top. I'm up for that.

Would it be the Wicked Witch of the West, by any chance? I'll just fly up and take a look. Back later.

"Second star to the right and straight on 'til morning!"
Blast this beeping satnav, it's led me into the wrong show......where is everyone?

Still recuperating from last week's dress rehearsal I think

Bumping up the thread.

We are waiting for Tinkerbell to report back, I do hope she is OK, been gone a long while now, perhaps we should get our Dragon to fly up to find her.

Hi ex ugly sister here. Before she left Tinkerbell sprinkled some fairy dust on me and I've turned pretty.

Hello all, Hanky Panky here again. There are some funny things going on here, just seen this gorgeous girl (legs up to here armpits) wearing the ugly sisters dress, must try and find the ugly sister, she might have been kidnapped (not sure why !). Tinkerbell has disappeared, Mum is nowhere to be found and I saw a nurse chaing the Evil Barron with a bed pan. All very peculiar.
AND, where is our principal boy Alladin, perhaps Peter Pan knows, I'll try to find him.

Peter Pan last seen resuscitating the front end of a cow dressed in half of a very fetching pink, purple and orange .costume. Apparently mugged by a bed pan wielding Evil Barron who has abducted the rear end and ran off muttering 'where's the barbecue??'

(gilly where are you?)

Backend of everything here! Ready for action sorry... acting. Has the catering team arrived yet? I could do with a

Now we have the backend of the cow, we can have tea, we were just waiting for milk.

Pleased to see you crafting, feel bad for abandoning you and gilly, maybe we need a front end understudy too? Any thoughts?

I just need a tiny bit of notice about a rehearsal . Being the back end of the cow I am late for everything and can't see what's going on for the ar&e covering my face . When's the next rehearsal?

Oh gilly, I have lost weight, honest! . Periscope maybe?

Good idea cornergran..... Off to find a periscope.

Now I wonder if I will get one a Morrisons this lunch time?

Hello all. Tinkerbell reporting for duty. Made it to the top of the beanstalk and found a hen that laid golden eggs, a singing harp and a huge smelly giant. I scattered my fairy dust over him and he turned into Aiden Turner. ? So have been a bit distracted.

So glad my magic worked Falconbird! We'll just have to find another ugly sister. Enjoy your new look.

Barron Hardup enters to more boos.

I hear that Tinkerbell has been abusing her position by turning our characters into hunks, for her own enjoyment. I shall get that Hanky Panky to climb the bean to sort her out, I suspect there has been some hanky panky.

Psst! Director! I know I'm singing Nobody Loves a Fairy when she's Forty, with ann, but I'm also a background tree - Silver Birch to be precise. No, don't come any closer! It's been very windy here in Dingley Dell today and some of my leaves have dropped off! Do you think you could ask wardrobe to run something up for me? Maybe a sparkly purple (long-line) windcheater to go with my beautiful long legs silver bark trunk. Pretty pleeease?

Baron Hardup's hound enters and spots a tree

Trying to put a photo on of my aunt Dorothy Ward. Principal Boy. But can't do it. There's loads of stuff about her on Google. I have mentioned her before on GN, ages ago!

Is this her ?

Yes, wobbly!!

Lots of images of her online

I like the one of her with long hair! She was a bit of a tartar in real life (dare I say)