New swear words—really good ones

There are some very unpleasant Yiddish curses:
www.yiddishwit.com/gallery/onion.html

“Shards!”

Just been reading Anne Maccaffrey.

I had a friend who always shouted "Pigs in fields" when angry.

Shall we revive *’Ods Bodkins’ !? Popular in the 1600’s, time for a revival.
What was the name of the dog ( in The Perishers) that always said ‘ By the good Lord Harry!’
Or even ‘Gordon Bennet!’

‘Christchurch near Bournemouth,’ was often muttered under our breath, (we lived nearby)

But if it has to be totally new then how about
‘By Donald’s Quiff!’

What polite people we are. Even our swear words ar3 middle class!

I presumed from the examples given by the OP that non offensive oaths were the idea.

It says ‘swear words’ not ‘oaths’!

Two entirely different things IMO - vicars could be forgiven for using an oath ?

At the risk of being told off by PM again for being “ill bred and insensitive “ (among other things) I bloody well like “Crikey O’Reilly”

gilly told off by PM? Really?? I didn’t know TM was on GN

I had a friend who always said ' Horlicks'

There's a road sign in Pitlochry which my DM always thought made a splendid one. It says Dam and Fishladder.

A friend of mine used to say 'Fishhooks' when miffed.

“Ye gods and little fishes!” when particularly frustrated!

Buttocks!

gilly......somebody on GN actually pm’d you to be offensive? It does happen, sadly.

I once worked at a wine merchants, where a favourite exclamation from one of the directors was 'Schloss Bockelheimer'. Perfect, in my opinion

I have adopted the Swedish “fyfan” as a child-friendly alternative to what I really want to say. It is however a curse word in Swedish rather than a polite exclamation

Yes Lemon Someone PM’d me ( ha ha sadly not Teresa May... * MaryEliza* ) to reprimand me for using the word “bloody” on the very funny jigsaw thread. Apparently my use of this disgusting word was highly insensitive to her and meant that I was ill bred, along with a few other choice things .

gillybob I am shocked - not at you, I hasten to add, but at your PM-er. Does she live in an enclosed order somewhere? I bet the Mother Superior doesn't know she's sneaking onto GN in between her prayers.

Exactly what I thought Bathsheba. I can’t insgine anyone being so sensitive that they would be so deeply offended by the word “bloody” but hey ho it takes all sorts .

MaryEliza complaining about someone being insensitive and offensive?

That takes the biscuit!

DH got ‘reprimanded’ by DGD (7) for wearing his Victor Meldrew tshirt (he uses it as PJ top in hot weather) which has ‘Bloody Hell’ with a picture of Victor on it.