Why do women hate their bodies

I remember being sad about my lower lip when I was 16. I was sure it was too big and fat, but I didn't let it worry me greatly.

We were lucky to grow up at a time when young girls weren't encouraged to think over much about their appearance and I think the main reason why we didn't hate our bodies was that we grew up feeling loved for ourselves.

I realise everyone wasn't so fortunate even then, but I think a child who has been loved and allowed to feel pretty as a little girl (even if she wasn't, looking at photos, I can see I wasn't a particularly appealing child) grown into a teenager and a woman who doesn't hate the way she looks, even although she probably has features she knows are not all that good.

I was flat chested when I was young and usually tallest in the class (5'7" in the end - now strangely a whole inch taller) and had mousy hair. I would have loved to look like Marilyn Monroe but that was never going to happen. I also had what I now realised was acne but my mum called it -'wall fire'. That never stopped me going out and finding the love of my life at 17. I take my specs off when looking in the mirror now so not entirely sure how I look. I also need a 34 double E bra... My arms went wrinkly overnight! I let my hair go grey as I couldn't be bothered with all the mess and couldn't afford the cost of dying it. I love bright colours so people often comment favourably on my clothes. I've never been bothered by what others think of how I looked because my mum used to say people don't think about anyone else for very long. I am concerned about the obsession with the 'body beautiful' though and think it is a form of misogyny, even amongst women. Some of it, I feel, is because some of our bodily functions remind us - and men - that we are, in fact animals, mammals to be precise; hence all the shaving and plastic breasts and aspirations to look like a doll. Well I love animals and think that aspect of our beings makes us wondrous creatures. I'm enjoying aging as well. It has brought major health cares with it but DH and I cherish the half century we have had together and the time we have together now. I know we are very fortunate and was thinking only today how rare our experience seems to have been, although several of our circle seem still to be with the partner they married in the 70's. They all look very different. I think it's time we learned to celebrate the differences!

What a lovely, positive post seadragon.

Gosh, this thread has me realising that I'm more complacent than I thought. Neither love or hate my body but kind of accept it. Admit, in days of yore, I might have considered some neck/jowl improvement but cowardice and lack of funds, in equal parts, prevented this. No regrets but sometimes wonder..... Like many others here I simply try to make the best of what I have by being smartly groomed and always clean. Mind you (previous post) scarf talent has definitely eluded me!

Can anyone explain grapefruitpip's comment about the OP being against GN rules? I don't understand.

Phoebe's ? Good for you

The main reason is because we are constantly seeing ‘celebs’ looking younger now than they did 10 years ago - Amanda Holden is a good example. Sharon Osborne has just announced that she has had her fourth facelift - when she was on ‘Who do you think you are’ she probably had no idea because her face changes regularly!

When I was much younger it wasn't 'does my bum look big' it was 'how can I hide my belly' that was the phrase on every woman's lips. Think it's easier and cheaper to have implants in the rear end than it is to have fat removed from the abdomen. So obviously it's the must have body part nowadays. I am just glad that what I have works never mind what it looks like.

It depends. I always had a good figure - tall and slim. I was happy with that, just the shape for the 1960s when I was a teenager. I was happy with that but I lost my teeth at the age of 11 through parental neglect. Then about 10 years ago I lost all my hair. I have false of both. How can I possibly not hate my body?

Women hate their bodies because beauty and physical appearance is our "strenght" and skill to master according to society
Women always had to fit the concept of beauty of the moment. Women are valued based on the perceived beauty.

Men have to be good earners. That is why they do not worry so much about it.

The thread called "leggings" shows that women always judged women.

Each season, as the "latest looks and must-haves" are unveiled and pushed at us I hope that there'll be a groundswell movement giving two fingers to the money-grabbing industries who'll profit from our communal fear of looking out of date.

Those pushers are responsible for the 11 million garments going to landfill every week, and for the untold misery of women who constantly worry that they don't look right. It would be fabulous for all of us and our planet if we could ignore the seductive marketing and find happiness with what we already have. Which, compared with many elsewhere in the world, is a lot.

4allweknow, you said:

'I am just glad that what I have works never mind what it looks like.'

I agree with that, well said!

I don’t hate my body, I’m glad I’m here, but yes it would be great to be slimmer but it isn’t going to happen so I accept what I’ve got, play up the good bits play down the not so good

Funnily this came up with my youngest daughter today, in a roundabout way...there used to be a really great clothes shop on my local high street (much missed, it's a sodding Starbucks now) that had loads of designer samples and end of line stuff, so it was varied and cheap.
Its only drawback was the communal changing room...what I didn't know until today was that it made her feel great about women's bodies as a teenager as it was all shapes and sizes and in particular she remembers a woman who was really slim and well-groomed and when she got her kit off to try on a dress she had stretch marks and was wearing a padded bra. That made my daughter (now in her mid thirties) feel really confident in knowing that fashion mags were selling her lies.

My dad used to say I had legs like tree trunks paddyann only he'd say 'twee twunks' because sometimes my 'r's' sound like 'w's'.

My brother still teases me for the way I talk but no one else including Mr. S. ever notices.

If I remember correctly then when I was young women tended more to focus on their positives and to make the most of themselves.
Which is good but for me once Twiggy came along I hated how I looked. Short with big tits. Not a Twiggy. But then once out int he wide world working it became clear that men like curves.
Now as an older woman I hate my body because I am very ill and can't move about. But writing that down I can see this is not a healthy attitude !

I have a very beautiful oldest granddaughter but she doesn't see that she it. It makes me sad because really she won't know until it goes. This is the generation that are too critical. They don't see their own beauty partly rests in being an individual. What is this perfection they seem to be chasing? They start to look far too similar.
I try to tell her how lovely she and she bats it away saying I am her granny so it doesn't count but she really is lovely.

Am I the only one who has a gorgeous grandaughter ( picture Natalie wood ) who thinks she's the most beautiful creature walking this earth ?
She also loooovs being tall.

Mine too Petra - think mini giraffe where her mother and I are more baby elephant by now! However I do praise her skills and talents as much to teach her that handsome is as handsome does.

men like curves

really she won't know until it goes

Oh dear.

I think that our culture has become more bullying than it was when I was a child (although bullies existed then too, definitely but they were more likely to be shunned). I think it's become far worse though, leading to self-loathing and it affects men too. I never really warmed to James Corden that much until this....(watch the video clip)
www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-49714697

grapefruitpip. This thread complies with the rules. It is a not a thread about a thread.

Someone asked me what made me launch this thread and I said, that started with two previous threads on body issues, which it did, but this thread is a quite seperate thread from those on a clearly distinctly different subject.

Bradfordlass, Your response reminded me of the New Statesman article referred to up thread (Isaid Spectator in an earlier post, my mistake). Saying things like We are gulible sheep who fall for every advert, every fashion, every little slogan which tells us we should be or buy a certain thing. And this includes being ashamed of your body, your conduct as a mother, wife or woman if you don't buy what they're selling. makes great feminist rhetoric, but, I think it is tosh. Some women may think and act like that, but certainly not all by a long way and I doubt any woman does it all the time
Nowadays when everyone is so media savvy. By that I mean capable of deconstructing any advert or recommendation by a celebrity, that they may see. Do you really expect us to believe that every woman is a sheep. That despite the evidence continually before their eyes that people come all sorts of shapes and sizes and achieve (or do not achieve) happiness and content, they all believe everything they read uncritically. Your opinion of women is very low.
I can understand the individual tales of having mothers obsessed with being slim (thin?) and critical of their daughters. My own ideas were formed by my own mother. She loved clothes, liked to look good – and did, it was partly a belief that dressing well was about showing respect for yourself, the exact opposite of body hating. And also, that if you are going to spend money on anything, clothes, furniture, food, get your value from your scarce money by buying something that you will always enjoy wearing/living with and makes you feel and look your best.
It is the same with keeping to a healthy weight, that has been happening for hundreds, if not thousands of years. The first self chosen diets were for men wanting to keep slim to be fit and able to take part in sports. The first ‘official’ diet was devised for the very overweight Mr Banting. It was a low carb diet and in his Letter on Corpulence, he 'accounted all of his unsuccessful fasts, diets, spa and exercise regimens in his past. My husband is currently successfully shedding a lot of weight because his excess weight has meant he has developed a medical problem that stopped him driving for three months and could have led to his licence being taken away permanently. Call it self-starvation, if you like, but that doesn’t mean it is anything bad. The evidence is there that being overweight can, and often does lead to all kinds of health problems and limits what you can do physically. It is not fat shaming to say that if you can keep your weight within accepted limits, you should.

I think some women have always hated their bodies, they just kept it to themselves in the past. I'm happy enough with my body, can't say I give it much thought as long as my clothes fit.

grapefruitpip

am not sure what you are implying.........everyone I knw says they look back and see how they WERE lovely but only saw their so called imperfections when younger.
i what on earth is wrong with saying this?

and yes I was never Twiggy my legs were too short and she was flat chested and I wanted to be fashionable.....again what is wrong with this statement?

are you just trying to be annoying?

My mother also took a lot of trouble to look good and she please lets not go down the fat shaming route again!!

people can hate the way they look for other reasons.
Nose too big, legs too short
My hands are not at all ladylike
please anything you don't like but not the overweight stuff again