Why do women hate their bodies

oh dear i made a right mess of that post
I began to write about my mum who is still very attractive at the age of 85.
She takes a lot of car of herself and dresses with care too.

I can't do it. I would rather read a book or be out in nature or another hobby.

sorry to make a confusing post.

I'm far from perfect but I'm perfect from afar. ??
Seriously, I once won a competition for having the bluest eyes out of 300+ entrants but that's all and it was 30 years ago. ??
The four things I like best about myself are my personality, optimism skin and hair.
I don't 'do' tanning so I'm very pale skinned but I just try to make the best of what I have.
When I go out I concentrate on the people I meet, not on how I look.
Friends say that it's well nigh impossible for me to be 'down' about any aspect of myself or life in general...and they're correct.

Lots of commenting on others bodies in the US- But it doesn't stop there, it flows over to clothing, home interiors, employment, cars, you name it-

The intent is to shame-

Its like one huge mental health issue, an I'm better than you society- But it's nothing new- Just way, way worse-

I think its increase is in part collateral damage from porn- From people wanting what they see on the screen and then expecting it- Not to mention wanting to look like those they see and "perform"- I'm sure it's had economical impacts too as a result- But I'm not saying it's "bad"- Just that perhaps it's impact on modern society is further reaching due to technology-

I'm grateful for my body, for being alive- As the years passed, and society became what it did, men in particular .. I totally quit fulfilling requests to go out of my way to look sexy- If I didn't already look it, tough shi-- ..

Rosecarmel, I agree completely and the fact remains that the vast majority of people are far too busy living their lives to notice or even care what we look like!

Some quotes on vanity:

No one can make us feel inferior without our consent.

Eleanor Roosevelt

We are so vain that we even care for the opinion of those we don't care for.

Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach

Our vanity is the constant enemy of our dignity.

Madame Anne Sophie Swetchine

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Just read your post N&G what a brave woman, puts all our gripes in perspective doesn't it.

My mother was obsessed with her weight, but not just hers, everyone else’s as well. When I was 12 and going to a party she looked me up and down and said “look at you, you are FAT FAT FAT “. I was a little thing, honestly but it stuck.
It’s as though she loved passing it on. My sister has been anorexic forever. Her hair falls out. She has never been anything less than skeletal and watching her eat, or rather avoid it is something to see.
My mother died of malnutrition, basically and all the horrible things starving does to you.
I love clothes and fashion and eat what I want. I enjoy cooking and think that nice food is there to be enjoyed.
Now, if I was too tubby to scuttle to catch a bus I would do something about it but I seem to have an optimum weight no matter. Or size, no idea how many stones I am. An apple shape, all bosom and tummy. I don’t like it, but it’s my shape.
Mine, all mine. I used to despair sometimes when I wanted to wear dresses that didn’t suit my shape but then perspective kicked in somehow. It’s only clothes !
I especially enjoyed Hetty 58 s post. I have written it down.

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Reported

Blimey BradfordLass72 from the heart.....
I don’t hate my body, I get a tad wistful, remembering it as it used to be I’ve been bigger and smaller, but I’m loved, by my husband, children and grandchildren. I don’t dress fashionably, jeans winter, shorts summer, to get me in a ‘frock’ is a special occasion and make up is some tired bits and bobs that are rarely used. I’ve done the corporate suits etc for a 20 odd year career, subsequent career was slightly more relaxed.
I must be lucky, I feel sad for anyone who feels the pressures they’ve spoken about here and elsewhere.

A lot of it is driven by ads telling how to get rid of ugly.......whatever, cellulite,thin lips,small breasts,dry skin etc.They invent problems we never knew we had. Young girls spend a fortune on fillers, nail gel,threading,waxing 'ugly hairy places etc.

When I was younger I really disliked my nose and always felt a nose job be wonderful. As I got older it mattered less and I'm too cowardly for any form of unnecessary surgery.
I think many of us look back on photos of days gone by and realise we looked fine.
There has been an interesting series on BBC 1 called The Truth about-plastic surgery. It investigated cosmetic procedures on face and body. Interestingly most made only very little real difference although sometimes the recipient felt better.
One segment was about selfie taking and body image with half the group allowed to take as many pictures as wanted and use filters the other just one photo no filters. The first group basically liked themselves more.
As a teenager in the 1970s I remember wistfully wanting to be a different body shape. I dont think there was the same pressure then and plastic surgery etc was only for very rich or unfortunate.
Photographs were something you had one shot at and had to wait weeks to see,and could put in a cupboard. For a lot of younger women photos are a daily event and open to public scrutiny for comment.
The fashion for fillers and botox to me is awful.
The recent need for video chats is something I always find a little disconcerting, I'm just not used to seeing myself in that way! That said the wrinkles I do have will be staying!

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Now that my reproductive life is over I see no point in having these hanging bits of time bomb flesh on the front of my body. If I could afford to have them removed I would.

I have a menopause belly and despite diet exercise over the last 10 years I cannot get rid of it but I have reduced it. There are no clothes out there that I look nice in because of this stomach and has made me feel pretty miserable over the years and good reason to hate my body.

I used to be a bodybuilder but because of sarcopenia I am unable to build muscle like I used to. I hate the way your body takes a while to respond and a while to recover from exercise. I have found that exercise makes me ill these days. I hate the way you quickly lose what you’ve developed in a matter of days unlike when younger would last longer. The ageing female menopausal body sucks. However on that miserable note I still exercise mainly now for strength and flexibility and always will until I die.

This post has made me think, and realise how very lucky I've been. I've been blessed with a strong, healthy body - and confidence.

Just think of all it's been through, the swimming, cycling, horse riding and ice skating of my youth, the thousands of miles I must have walked.

It's produced and fed four healthy children, done decades of travelling, gardening, housework and teaching - with very few episodes of illness or disability - incredible really.

Now, at 67, I have a tummy, droopy bits, lumpy bits, a dodgy back and a few scars. Still, overall, I think I should appreciate and love my body. It has served me well.

OK, it's time for long sleeves and long skirts - but so what?

I quite like my body. When I take my clothes off I think.you know that is really rather nice - given it is nearly 64 and has borne 5 kids. That said I am trying to get my weight down a bit as think it will be better for my health. I.am 5ft 5in and size 12/14 (ie 12 on top 14 on bottom).

To be honest it may not have been voiced in the past but the very nature of clothing over the centuries might suggest it! Tight corsets to pull in waists go way back in history. Corsets to smooth hips ...horrendous garments , like the one my mum used to squeeze herself into! Flattening chests in the twenties! Lots more examples.

And a message of inadequacy is still given ...slimming pants/leggings etc. Plus these days all the botox and fillers.

So maybe its the voicing it/phraseology that is used that is new, not the concept?

BTW vaguely on the subject ...I wonder if anyone else has just about given up bras ...at home, but finding myself not even bothering when I go out, muffled up in winter clothing! Remarkably comfortable!! Can't see it happening in a summer T short though

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When I meet up with my friends who I've known since infant school, we spend the first hour or so talking about fat, veins, wrinkles etc. and then one of us says that we're doing alright for 60 somethings & then we get stuck into the drinks and forget about it. Why do we bother? What annoys me though is that men don't seem to get the saggy skin & varicose veins as much as women. My DH has got lovely skin & no veins. I'm coming back as a man next time

I have always had a very warped view of my body and my looks.
Even when I was a healthy size 10 I always thought I was too fat. I don’t like how I look like my rather dysfunctional family members. I want to look different to them. I even dream of Davina knocking on my door to tell me I have a real family somewhere!!
I do feel hate is a strong word, I wish I wasn’t growing this rather large tummy since the menopause but I have the nicest DH who always makes me feel good about myself. I think if people have low self esteem it will manifest itself in some way even if you have ‘perfect’ looks and a ‘perfect’ figure.

Gosh this is an old topic. Hadn't even remembered I'd responded earlier. Just wondering..... who decides what the 'perfect' body is?

As ever this thread was revived by a spammer. I have reported it.

Didn't know that Monica. Nor do I understand why anyone would do that.