Overweight Husbands

Ladies be thankful you still have husband's to worry about. I was widowed at 45 my husband was 47. I would give anything to nag him about his weight. I am 62 now. No one can make a person lose weight you have to decide for yourself. I speak from experience. It has taken me 3 years to lose over 7st. I was a size 32 now a 16. Still want to lose a stone. No I wouldn't be slim but want to get to 11st.

What I have learnt lossing weight is a marathon not a sprint. I am happy if I lose quarter pound a week. Now a days it is staying the same but will loss the rest eventually.

If your husband's decide they do want you to help them lose weight diet plus exercise is the best way. If you want ideas of diets that works read the pear thread. I count calories. My brother is online with WW .

He sounds like an emotional eater to me.
He needs to sort himself out and stop comfort eating.

Whiff. Yes we are lucky we still have husbands that we love. We want them to last. I’m sorry you lost yours.
Sometimes they need help and encouragement and if we can help we do, even if that includes nagging.
All research shows that exercise alone won’t do it and I read about some research recently came to the conclusion that doing it together helps. ? wonder what it cost to come to that conclusion?

I didn't say exercise alone. I said diet and exercise.

Whiff
Thank you.

I recommend The Harcombe Diet for Men. Eighty pages, full of wisdom and not at all girly so no risk of auto-reject. Buy the book, leave lying around if that’ll catch his eye or just read it yourself and introduce the new way of eating. By the way, eat less, move more is bad science. Homeostasis won’t let that work. Reading is power! Don’t let anyone “sell” you a solution!

Oh and movement is wonderful, you just can’t outrun a bad diet. So if movement is possible (no bad hip/ankle/knee/back etc issues) enjoy walks and stretches and weights and live long and strong!

I have exactly the same problem.
My DH was so skinny when I married him but soon developed a tummy that his father had.
He is a fussy eater only liking meat and potatoes which is also so frustrating.
He is also very stubborn.
Fortunately I love cooking so we have separate meals most nights.
He does not over eat but since having Legionnaires disease he has not had the energy to get out onto the golf course. We go for a walk every day but he does not have the energy to go far.

Same here, my OH weighs at least six stones more than when I married him 50-odd years ago. We've done WW and Slimming World together. I lose a stone or so (and that's fine for me) and so does he. But then he just stops at that. I cannot persuade him to take any exercise. He plays on YouTube all day and watches the news incessantly.

Like others on here, I don't want to lose him before his time. No idea what to do though. Maybe I can't do anything.

Whiff

I didn't say exercise alone. I said diet and exercise.

whiff I was agreeing with you.? sorry if that didn’t come across.

In September I posted on this thread about this problen, obese husband who was just burying his head in the sand about his weight problem.

This is what has happened since. On November 10th he had a heart attack, he was rushed to hospital where he was diagnosed with unstable angina and blocked arteries. He was kept in hospital on 24 hour watch until he had a triple bypass operation a week later. The heart operation was entirely successful. Unfortunately he picked up an infection which migrated to the scar and lungs and was diffiuclt to bring under control.

Three more operations and innumerable 'procedures' later plus enough strong antbiotics to float a ship, he was discharged from hospital after an eight week stay and is now recovering, very slowly at home.

This is the price of not controlling your weight. DH is 77 and I have been expecting this to happen for about 15 years. Waking up each morning and immediately checking DH in case he had had a heart attack in the night.

MOnica so sorry to hear your news. We don’t always want to be proved right do we? I hope he makes a great recovery.
Luckily my DH has stuck to his ‘program’ and has lost quite a bit of weight.
Not only dies he look better but he’s walking a lot better too.

We have been eating healthy meals since I was diagnosed with cancer and seriously stuck to home made everything. No junk, foods, no ready meals, no takh always, just plain healthy things. DH agreed to join me and he is happy. But he’s still overweight whereas my weight has been coming down steadily. The reason is simple - he drinks and he won’t cut down. He comes back from the supermarket with loads of cans and bottles. He won’t listen. It’s a losing battle, he won’t even cut down, I might as well send him to the chip shop every night.
The answer now is to hide the bottles and drink on the sly.

I'm sorry to hear that MOnica what a dreadful time for you both. I hope your husband makes a good recovery and starts to eat more sensibly.
ExD maybe your husband could hear what happened to Mr MOnica and it would scare him a bit. I agree with others who say the only way he will lose weight is if he is self motivated to do so. All the sensible meals in the world won't help if he eats unhealthy snacks etc. I hope you you can persuade him that his health is important.

OH is not my problem he is fairly good, sensibly proportioned, it’s me that has problem I would love to loose a couple of stone, however hard I try it just won’t go.

Katie then you are getting something wrong. If you eat fewer calories than you need then you lose weight.
What are you doing that you can change?

Katie are you taking exercise? Go out for a walk each day. Start with a short one, say 30 or 45. minutes and build up to do a bit more. You will feel so much better. Good luck, it will do you good x

Katie59 You have my sympathy. I think much more is known now about how variable our bodies are, our gut bacteria and how our bodies process food than in the past.

It is now known that there are genes that affect the efficiency of our bodies. there have been several programmes on R4 discussing this issue. There is more to losing weight than just eating less and exercising more.

I think different types of diets affect different people in different ways. Before the menopause I just cut calories and took more exercise and lost weight, but after the menopause that no longer worked, I gained 2 stone and couldn't lose it. It finally went when the 5:2 diet came in. That worked for me.

I think you have to shop around, look at and try different eating patterns until you find one that works for you. I know some friends who swear by the Atkins diet, now generally described as Low-carb, yet it just made me feel very very ill and I lost no weight at all on it.

There's a lot to think about here, thank you. There's just one thing I'd like to put straight - he's not lazy. He works a ten hour day (or more) on the farm, seven days a week, 365 days a year, and has never had a holiday. He even drags himself out there when he's ill. I know other farmers' wives will understand this, the way of life for a solo farmer with livestock.
He managed quite well this week, I think my 'not mentioning the D word' may be paying off.

ExD My DH was never as active as your DH has to be, but he was not a couch potato. In the months running upto his heart attack, he was buying and fitting some second hand doors at various places in our house and for several garden sheds. This included cleaning up and refurbishing the doors, as well as fitting them. He laid laminate flooring in a bathroom and always had an endless succession of little DIY jobs on the go. Most of the day he was on his feet. His problem was genetic inheritance and a tendency to ignore wht he doesn't want to know.

DS has inherited DHs build and tendency to high blood pressure and Type 2 diabetes, although he has always tried to keep everything under control. However since DH's illness, he has managed to lose a couple of stone and has been following the couch to 5km programme. He was already running 5km every other day, but is now trying to do it daily.

MOnica I got as far as downloading the couch to 5k .
Then I remembered how miserable all those joggers look so I deleted it again.?
I’ll stick to tennis - when we get back to normal that is!

All that food must cost a fortune . Presumably you do the shopping. Could you tackle it from the financial aspect. Does he know how much you spend on food plus any extras he buys himself? Is there anything he would really like to buy or do if you cut down on food expenditure? A bit like the BBC programme "Eat well for less ". I know people who stopped smoking in order to buy something special.

M0nica I’d just like to add my best wishes to your DH for a good recovery and good health in the future.

Oh dear - I’m sorry, but my husband is Jack Sprat. He’s so lean I could post him, but he eats three meals a day, has a snack mid morning and mid afternoon and has a cooked pudding every single day! He can eat anything he likes and still be be as slim as he was on our wedding day!

I, on the other hand, eat very little in comparison, but I’m overweight and he’s not because, in part, he gets far more exercise than I do. Also, I’ve had six pregnancies, am on meds where weight gain is the biggest side effect and I hardly move at the moment. Aaargh! I think I need a wife to help me!

PamelaJ sometimes, it is a question not, of what you want to do but what is in your best interests and for DS, if couch to 5k, or just running 5k enables him to avoid the problems DH has had, then, miserable or not, is the best choice.