Tiger mums

d (Missing from a previous post)

How are "granny knickers" different from the knickers worn by the rest of the female population? What exactly is your idea of a "granny"? Why should a grandmother's knickers be a figure of fun in themselves? Are you being ageist?

I don't use hackney worn out phrases.

You got out of bed the wrong side jingl 'cos you seem to be wearing your granny knickers on the outside!

You're a fine one to tell other people how to post

'er wot said it knows who she is

God, it's such an obvious, dumbed down, and elitist argument. And so typical of The Times! I really hate that newspaper. I'm cancelling my online sub once my cheap 3 months come to an end.

Of course over anxious pushy mums are likely to have unhappy stressed kids.

I'll be out for the rest of the morning. Have fun y'all.

It's not hugely anything and it's very easy to understand.

Er... where did that come from, jings? There isn't any telling to grow up on this thread, is there?

Now I will read the article. But if it's hugely scientific and hard to understand what the fuck it's all about I will make no further comment.

obi to be fair, no one said you had to respond to the OP. There are a lot of posters on GN.

NO POSTERS SHOULD TELL OTHER POSTERS TO "GROW UP". IT IS A BLOODY CHILDISH THING TO DO IN ITSELF!!!

I wonder how many of these mothers there really are. I've met a few mums who push their kids into things and timetable activities but not to such an extent that nothing else is allowed. As my 3 year old GD is now talking about sleepovers (I blame the nursery) how do they stop their kids getting involved? I'd never have made a tiger mum just couldn't have kept the pace up!! I favour a style of parenting once described to me by a friend with a lot of children as "benevolent neglect".
Why is it I miss all the real arguments on GN and only get hints and deleted posts? (Sorry thatbags didn't mean to say anything off thread but it is so intriguing!)

Actually didn't mind the boarding exierience Elegran as had friends on tap 24/7 but it meant my younger sister, who was only 5 was isolated from me in class and a different dorm and she had a terrible experience.

I didn't like that way of being brought up but it turned me into a rebel (got expelled from the Convent aged 13) rather than the child she wanted and that's been really useful for me as an adult. Father was largely absent and didn't take much of an interest.

Having said that this régime didn't do anything positive for my younger sister..

I did impose certain 'standards' (?) on my own children but encouraged them in their own interests too and they've turned out fine. At least they still talk to me and live close by if that's anything to go by!

Boarding school was probably a rest cure.

I suppose if Tiger Mums existed in the 50s then mine was one. i got very adapt at doing my piano practice, homework (additional so I'd pass the 11+), elocution practice (had to tone down that common Scottish accent) deportment (believe me!) and so on....then disappearing off out with my friends never to return until bedtime.

So I got sent to boarding school instead aged 7.

Yes, elegran, one wonders if those kids end up with a great deal of simmering resentment. I also wonder about the dads: where is their input, and where are their reasonable objections?

Alternatively the kids grow up just as highly strung (I'm trying to be polite ? ) and regiment their kids too. I'd love to hear from people who've grown up under such a mother, both those who 'liked' the way they were brought up and those who didn't.

Blimey! I only left for a few minutes to read the article properly and type up a reply . . .

Thanks Anya.

X posts there (but I still don't know where the Italians come into things)

Rosemary Bennet strikes a chord with me. however finding a "a clear connection between high levels of qualifications among mothers, low levels of happiness and satisfaction, and higher levels of stress and tiredness." is rather extreme. I know many University-educated mothers whose children get encouragement and support in their studies without being subjected to pressure cooker regimes.

What strikes me about the regime of the real "tiger mothers" is how they are aiming to turn out, not a human being but a hand-fabricated machine for Success, with a capital S. No making friends and having fun, no joy, no time to stop and stare. what a life!

( "Her rules are simple. No grade below an A is acceptable; no activity that is not educational or developmental is ever undertaken. There are no play dates and definitely no sleepovers. In her regime there was no life outside school except violin and piano practice." )

Sorry you're feeling unwell obi I too have been known to mouth off more than is wise when in pain. I even told someone not to be negative and naive, but having had that post deleted for using !such foul language I'd advise you to get a cup,of tea and a painkiller and come back on GN after a lie down in a darkened room

Works for me.

Are you trying to get banned Obieone?

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

obi, the thread you refer to is still available for you to comment on. I feel I must politely ask you to go and stir things up over there since you feel so passionately about my evilness.