As a previous lecturer and teacher I do think that whilst you can learn a set of sentences, this does not necessarily mean that you understand the actual meaning of the groups in multiplication. . I used to get piles of small lego of different colours. Then I would get the children to make up groups of lego , which showed the different ways you might set up a number.
For example you might have a group of 6 blue pieces of lego. Then two groups of 3 red lego
Then three groups of 2 yellow lego.
This then showed how you got 3x2 or 2x3 etc.
So you then get them to make up as many kinds of groups that are possible, and if you explain that "times" means groups of a number and they can actually see that in front of them and it makes sense. If you havent any lego or for a treat. to encourage trying it out ,you could use smarties or jelly babies, so that you then can see what it actually means to have four groups of three red smarties equals twelve and six groups of two brown smarties also equals twelve and three groups of four yellow smarties comes to the same total. That lets them see the various possibilities. Having something concrete to connect to the words makes it much more real , and you could also do something similar using coins , so that the interchange of how you can make up particular numbers becomes easily understandable and then as they have fun learning and eating the counters it becomes less stressful.
Then the tables will make more sense and if they get worried , they can think of how they made these up visually. rather than having to think about how many fingers etc etc. Also if you enjoy baking with a child and have an old fashioned weights you can use the scales to show how you could weigh 2 50gms or 1 100gms, (or in my day 2oz x2 or 4oz!)So it makes sense to them in a real way, not just a sentence in the tables.
My father was an expert bridge player and mathematician, and we all learnt to play whist when we were very young, which was a good game to improve your maths and remembering how many of a suite had gone etc. Clock patience or any games like that also help you to clarify numbers.
The big problem with anything you are struggling with, is that you get tense and worried before you have done much, and it becomes a self-fufilling situation. I used to teach a way of multiplying by 11 , to children who were struggling a little, and they saw it as a trick and really enjoyed using it. Dont know if it will be easy to explain on paper rather than showing someone here but I will try.
So the most important thing to know is that the numbers , when separated must not add up to more than 9.
Take any double number to multiply by 11, for instance 25. Write it down with a space in between, so 2 5. Add the two numbers together and place the resulting number in the middle of the two numbers 275 and that is the answer! Once you have done this for a few times written down, you can then do it in your head so 11 x 44 =484
11x18 = 198 but you could not do 11 x 19 as 1 and 9 would give you 10, which would not work. When a child has mastered this you can suggest that he tries it out with granny or mum or whoever and they gain some confidence and surprise others with their skill, which I cunningly do not give to all the children at that time, but let that child
explain to their classmates later and they then ask if there are any more tricks etc .,, Some children just find it useful , but there are other children that I have found it gave them some confidence and belief in themselves and they started to see it as fun. Might be worth a try at some point anyway. Hope you could understand my explanation.