Bored at university!!??

It seems that in some people’s minds, the primary purpose of going to university - to broaden & deepen your knowledge of a subject which fascinates you, or to follow a vocational course leading to a qualification which will enable you to follow a professional career, has been sidelined by the party-going, socialising type of activity that people who aren’t actually at university, imagine goes on all the time.
I suspect the reality is rather different.
I imagine that most young people at university work as hard for their degrees, if not harder, than our generation did. Then, as now, there were lots of people who were studiously quiet and didn’t have riotous social lives.

But the popular image of students as party-going layabouts was as prevalent then as it seems to be now. I went to Manchester in 1967 and my daily journey to the dental school involved a two-mile bus journey.
As the bus arrived outside the Students’ Union on Oxford Road, one of the regular bus drivers would call out “Manchester holiday camp!”

It's not just with going to University. Whatever you do, work or studying, you have to perhaps go out and look for friendship/activities etc.

People won't come to you in four walls.

It seems to be a recent problem. When DS went to uni he was in a hall of residence that had a refectory, and was on a mixed floor with kitchens. There was a large group of them, lads and lasses, all doing different courses, who went around together. Later they shared houses and remained friends. Most of them are still in touch.

So I would suggest that anyone going to uni should go into a hall of residence, preferably mixed, and certainly not start off isolated in private accommodation.

I worry about my grand daughter who wants to go 2021 I was thinking it would be the making of her but although she’s a very loyal friend she takes ages to make friends and can never make the first move she’s still friends with the girl she met at play school aged 3 she ll probably find a friend the day before she leaves She’s very socially shy and afraid of rejection
I ll worry that’s she’s stuck in on her own all the time

I don't really understand this. My niece and nephew are at uni - York and East Anglia and both have joined lots of clubs and both had communal kitchens in halls where they ended up cooking with a group of people. Niece is always on the go - ballet, shows, skiing, surfing, helping new students and was chief organiser of finding a flat with her new friends for her 2nd year. Nephew has also joined lots of groups - politics, debating, history and has made a lot of friends and they have just secured a flat for 2nd year - he is the quiet one of the family. I think you need to join things to meet likewise people or you might feel lonely but need to make the effort. Does she live at home or in halls? Maybe college would be better if it is more local. Young people are encouraged to go to uni these days and many schools base their success on how many students go on to uni but it is not always the best route for everyone. Perhaps her parents could go through some of the societies available with her and select a couple she could try out.

How interesting. I had no idea. I really thought that university would be a place where lots of socialising went on. I never went myself so have no concept of what it was like.
I felt (feel) sorry for my DGS who has autism and would love to have friends but struggles so much with relationships. He wouldn’t be going to university anyway but I felt he would be missing out. I wonder if that is the way of the world now. Will we end up not talking at all.

Chestnut - just how do you think that 'Universities' can make an effort to get people to mix?

Someone would have to take responsibility for this - who should that be? How do you think that staff could (or should) interfere with the way in which young (or older) adults communicate?

Group chats on phones are a way for students to talk to one another when a lot of them are unable to be present because of work commitments. Very few students nowadays can manage without at least a part-time job, and many have to work pretty much full-time in order to pay the rent and bills. The days of sitting about in common rooms are a thing of the past, unfortunately, and there is nothing that staff can do to change that.

At least students who set up groups online or on phones are making an effort to communicate outside of lectures and seminars - it is a good sign, rather than something to be feared.

I worked in a university for years, and still do from time to time.

I think that as with so much about human interaction, these things vary from person to person, and possibly course to course.

Students who get involved with societies and things like voluntary work tend to build networks and make a wide circle of friends, whilst those who turn up for classes and then go home don't. I also think that more people live at home (ie with parents) than in the past, so there is a lot more commuting, and less after-hours socialising than we did.

As a generalisation, a lot of students are very focussed on their marks and getting First Class degrees, which were very rare in the past, but are now more common. Some students feel that if they don't get a First they have wasted their time and money (which is not true, of course, but leads to a very study-driven experience, rather than an all-rounded one).

I'm not sure if there is a question in the OP, but in my experience the situation you describe is not uncommon, but if your grand-daughter wants a different experience it is easy enough to find it - it just won't come to her. If she asks about societies that would interest her in the SU it would be a good place to start meeting people to befriend. Her department might run extra-curricular groups and committees, too.

Inanimate objects cannot take over people’s lives, Chestnut.
Even young people at university have a choice as to how they communicate with those around them.

I am shocked but not surprised. Those damn phones have taken over everyone's lives. The Universities really should make an effort to get people mixing socially otherwise I fear for the future. These are young people who need to learn social skills and how to communicate in person not just online.

This my oldest grandson's experience too, although I would have to say that he is quite introverted so not a 'problem' for him. He is in halls, really doesn't socialise with his flatmates and definitely no communal cooking.

Yes - it seems to be very common from speaking to friends who also have children at university. In my day you ate, drank and socialised in shared kitchens and living areas in halls and flats. Now they seem to have online group chats and communicate that way. DS is lucky and met his friends on his course but DD really struggled - they all seemed to go their separate ways after the lecture. She’s now in third year and has made a small group of friends but there doesn’t seem to be the same range of social events we had.