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Granny advice needed

(66 Posts)
GagaJo Mon 25-Jan-21 11:51:40

I am considering bringing my daughter and grandson to Switzerland to live with me. Although there is covid here, it isn't anywhere near as bad as it is in the UK. Living here for a couple of years could be a way to improve his and his mum's lives. I don't think they would stay long term, but for a year or two, until hopefully, the whole covid mess dies down a bit. There are lots of complexities to the issue but the one that worries me the most is my grandson.

He is almost 3 and is really starting to talk a lot now, BUT his speaking is quite delayed. As an English teacher I know that late speaking often means literacy issues.

I am concerned that putting him into a non English speaking environment would drastically affect his language acquisition.

Do any of you have any insight or opinions about this? There ARE other issues with them moving, but this is the one that worries me the most.

Jaxjacky Tue 26-Jan-21 21:24:37

How would health cover work in Switzerland for them?

GagaJo Tue 26-Jan-21 21:59:39

It isn't ideal Sue, that is for sure. But then covid...

Health insurance, as for me.

Callistemon Tue 26-Jan-21 22:28:20

I've been thinking - are you sure this is a good idea? I know you would like to have your family near you but would they be safer there than here in the UK? You work in a school where you said they're not really adhering to the rules so that could be more risky, plus the travel to Switzerland which in itself could be a potential Covid hazard?
Presumably you would be living together too, working and your DGS in nursery?

The case rate in Switzerland is slightly higher than the UK although the death rate is lower but not by a vast amount.
(Worldometer)

It's hard for all children at the moment, not going to nursery or school and probably difficult for your DD trying to look after a toddler and working but they can stay safe at home even if that's not ideal.

Sorry to be Devil's Advocate but I just wonder what would be safest for them.

Chewbacca Tue 26-Jan-21 23:58:32

You raise good points Callistemon but ultimately it has to be OP's daughter's decision as to whether she decides to up sticks and emigrate with her child. Much as OP might want this to happen, only the mother of the child can make the decision and her decision must be respected.

bluebird51 Wed 27-Jan-21 08:00:42

I don't think there will be a problem with your grandson ,I do wonder whether it could put a strain on your relationship with your daughter if you are all living together. Some families go well living together ,others not. You both should discuss this thoroughly before she makes the move.

Hetty58 Wed 27-Jan-21 08:11:37

Gagajo:

'As an English teacher I know that late speaking often means literacy issues.'

Really? I do wish that you'd correct the above. As a retired teacher, I'd disagree.

Hetty58 Wed 27-Jan-21 08:17:11

(unless there are hearing problems involved)

BlueBelle Wed 27-Jan-21 08:29:36

So although DD isn't thrilled with the idea of Switzerland
Surely this is the kingpin of the whole question nothing to do with speech, travelling, saving them from the U.K. situation
Are you in your heart of hearts sure this isn’t your dream ?

Does the little boy not have a Daddy, they have a right to a child’s movements too
Would your daughter be able to work?

Is Switzerland really that safe ? especially with you working with children what if they had a spike ??

Look at your opening line I m considering bringing my daughter and grandson...... You havent said “ my daughter has suggested moving to be near me ....’

On the surface it all sounds wonderful and positive but I d be cautious that this isn’t your own pipe dream
Like most grandparents we have to accept partings you can’t take just adult families round the world with you
I m sorry to pour cold water on your idea perhaps I m just a more cautious person who looks at everything good and bad

Hetty I agree wasn’t Wilson Churchill the child that didn’t talk properly until he was 5 My friend was brought up bi lingual and stop talking for two years, however highly intelligent lady who later had a professional career that took her all round the world

GagaJo Wed 27-Jan-21 08:34:44

It isn't a pipe dream BlueBell. I am not overly fond of Suisse myself. It is just an idea that DD and I had to enable me to work here for a bit longer and for them to avoid the ravages of the UK covid lockdown. She is struggling being locked in and isolated with no one else to help with childcare. The rest of our family live over 300 miles away from her.

I am pretty sure it won't happen. I think the permit situation is too hard and finding a job with no French in an area with few to no ex pats is going to prove VERY hard.

Even if it happens, it will be a temporary thing. 1 year, or 2 maximum. If covid hadn't happened, it wouldn't be an idea at all.

BlueBelle Wed 27-Jan-21 09:32:24

Well I hope whatever is right for all of you becomes your reality gagajo
I too have one adult child and grandchildren with no relations apart from me for thousands of miles so I do understand your thinking ....... but this will be over and we will all be reunited at some point I refuse to NOT believe we ve come through the worst and although I know it’s not going to magically disappear I think before too long we ll look back on it all and scratch our heads as to what the heck was that

Callistemon Wed 27-Jan-21 09:56:06

Chewbacca

You raise good points Callistemon but ultimately it has to be OP's daughter's decision as to whether she decides to up sticks and emigrate with her child. Much as OP might want this to happen, only the mother of the child can make the decision and her decision must be respected.

Yes, I should have added that.
Perhaps the mother will decide it's safer where they are in the UK and she may be right considering the risks.

If case rates drop here then things will start getting back to some kind of normal, definitely within a year I should think.
Nurseries should re-open and your DGS will be able to return and meet up with other children.

Speech delays do not inevitably lead to literacy problems. Presumably your DD chats with your DGS and he is absorbing it all even if he's not saying much yet.

Alexa Wed 27-Jan-21 10:06:57

My children moved house and country twelve times between birth and adulthood. The became adept at learning the dialects and foreign language (Spanish in their case) of wherever they lived. They did not enjoy moving to a strange place;learning the language was a minor and quite fun issue compared with learning how to enjoy themselves in the new place.

Language differcnce is less important than a fun habitat, friends their own age, and good teachers at school.

Witzend Wed 27-Jan-21 10:20:16

Another anecdote - still in the Middle East, we had new neighbours who were Swedish, with 2 children aged about 5 and 6 at the time. The younger was roughly the same age as our dd1. Since they had no English at all at first, the English-speaking school would not accept them.

Besides playing a lot with our two, they were sent to an English-speaking play group - it took the younger child exactly one month before her English was good enough for the school.
The elder took a little longer, but within what seemed a very short time, nobody would ever have guessed that English wasn’t their mother tongue.
The ability of young children to simply ‘mop up’ another language is wonderful.
Such a shame that it goes off later!

GagaJo Wed 27-Jan-21 10:26:27

Yes, I have 2 Spanish brothers for students at school. The eldest is 17 and is really struggling with his English. The youngest is 12 and with 20 minutes of extra help a day has long since surpassed his big bro.

icanhandthemback Wed 27-Jan-21 13:12:57

If your daughter is not keen on the idea of Switzerland, it sounds like a recipe for disaster. From previous posts, it isn't the easiest relationship so unless your daughter is itching to join you, I would put the idea to her and then let her decide without any pressure.
Children develop at different rates and language acquisition might be delayed if he is unable to socialise because of lockdown. You talk about literacy issues but conversely, the most advanced talkers can have literacy issues too. I think you might be worrying too much on that front. I wonder how you think living with you will change his literacy ability unless you are intending to push him forward in some way. If so, I'd be wary of that as you can do more harm than good whilst having the best intentions.