Children in nursery and even KS1 still in nappies!

the parents may have special needs.

Don’t be judgemental. They may have unidentified SEN. Anxiety or physical problems can also be an issue

It’s about time we were judgemental. Yes some children may have problems but not that many. It’s laziness on the part of the parents.

All that potty training seemed interminable at the time, I started with mine, I think around 2 and a bit and they were finally there sometime around 2 and 3/4 if I remember rightly, but they were boys. My granddaughter was out of nappies around 2 a lot quicker than her brother. Mine hated to break off what they were doing, I remember the signs for both of them and also with my grandson, a sort of hopping about on one leg, with me saying "you need the toilet stop putting it off, go now!" and then they'd finally admit they did need to go and get there just before an accident! I sent mine to a kindergarten 2 mornings a week before they started in the school nursery at 3 and a quarter. The lady who ran the kindergarten would take them from around 2 and a half and was quite laid back about some of the children being in pull off nappies, merely insisting on trousers that pulled down easily, definitely no dungarees she took the view that they eventually got it by just copying the other children. She always emphasised that boys, in her experience, took longer. Mine had an accident or two there but I think we were through the worst of it by 3.

Harris27

Been in childcare for over twenty years and can see where this is coming from. I work in preschool and the rule used to be that they didn’t come into that room till they were toilet trained. Now it’s the norm we have at least three or four in nappies and no special needs. Just lazy parents. Our ratio is one to eight and when we’re in changing nappies we are leaving others to their own devices. So much so now we have to ask for extra staff to come in and cover. It’s a nightmare.

I couldn't agree more to this and other posts. When I started teaching in the '70s the rule was children could not enter nursery without being potty trained in my area.
Then I moved authorities and we were getting children into reception class who were untrained and still drinking from a bottle. It takes up a lot of staff time. We also had the dummy suckers who would be found around a corner.
I did find two children who wore nappies for medical reasons in K stage1 who wanted to keep it secret and had a teachers aide who they alerted and were taken to the medical room that had a toilet all done very discreetly.
I think from observing children and listening to younger relatives it is as others have said two parents working and also children in nurseries from being babies. Potty training is not at the top of the agenda just like using a knife and fork and sitting at a table.
'That's for someone else who I am paying to teach them".
We would have been mortified to send our children to school in nappies not so now. My mother wanted me to put ours on the potty after every feed when they could barely sit up.

Mine were born late 70s and 1980. At the time, they were generally considered physiologically ready by 2, or soon afterwards. Mine were both daytime trained not long after 2 - it took just a week both times, but then it I was at home with them, so that did make it easier.

My elder Gdcs were nearly 3 by the time it was attempted (or accomplished) but dd was working 4 days a week. General feeling among dd and friends was that they weren’t ready before then. A dd’s friend was still saying her son wasn’t ready - no SN - at 3 1/2.

Of course disposable nappies make it a much easier decision than it used to be. In the days of no disposables, no automatic washing machines, and certainly no tumble driers, the impetus was that much greater.

In the days before central heating was common, who else remembers terry nappies steaming on a clothes horse in front of the fire on wet winter days?

GagaJo But my MiL's experience shows that this is nothing new.

I teach reception and every year we get children who aren’t reliably toilet trained who will wet and soil themselves not asking to go to the toilet. We frequently encounter children who are put into pull ups without our being aware and when we mention it to parents they are somewhat embarrassed but their child’s lack of toilet training. We also have children with special needs who need two members of staff to deal with changing ( 2 staff members stop any allegations of inappropriate behaviour/touching). These incidents divert our attention away from the teaching that we are paid to do and really eat into our real job. But that’s how it is in most reception classes now I think.

And to be fair, it all gets talked about in the staffroom too!

Thanks Josianne, I do a lot of work with anxious parents who are beyond worried about their child not being toilet trained, we work in partnership with the schools who 9/10 times are completely supportive. To be honest toilet training is the least of the schools worries in most cases.

Agreed, which is why I have not!

Galaxy

I think making sweeping judgements about lazy parents is judgemental kali, and there has been a lot of that. I work in early years, up to 8 different settings a week, so I know the effect that kind of judgement has on parents especially those with additional needs.

I agree Galaxy. Shouldn't teachers and parents be working in partnership to make things easier, primarily for the child? Criticising parenting is not the way for teachers to establish a good relationship.

I think making sweeping judgements about lazy parents is judgemental kali, and there has been a lot of that. I work in early years, up to 8 different settings a week, so I know the effect that kind of judgement has on parents especially those with additional needs.

My #2 DS was out of nappies in the daytime by 18months. He wanted to be like his big brother and was desperate to stand up to pee. It was a relief because those terry nappies were bulky especially when wet

I can remember being surprised 20 years later when a nearly 4 yr old boy, very bright, was still in nappies (disposables) and the parents were so anxious as he couldn't begin school until he was clean and dry.

It was an effort to train them. You waited until the Summer when there were fewer clothes to undo. There were also accidents.
Anxiety played a part. (from me and them)
Was it a coincidence that the first night after all 3 DS started school they wet the bed having been dry at night for years?.

What is to stop a parent fibbing that their child is dry to get them into a school? Then saying the child has regressed at the thought of starting school and now needs nappies again, leaving it to the school to sort out.

Again, what a shame. GN seems to turn into a slanging match, with some people becoming so defensive on a personal level.

Thinking back over my childhood, my childrens' and my grand-children- I can honestly say I do not know of any child who was not clean by the time they went to playschool then school. Bar 2 very very special cases. Why is saying this, judgemental? I am a teacher, and never have I heard of any teacher/s having to deal with nappies- although yes, of course- all schools had changes in case of very rare and exceptional 'accidents'.

There is clearly a change happening- where this seems to have become the 'norm' for schools and teachers to deal with and is quite new, in the proportions discussed currently.

A relatives son started school still in nappies. Lazy parents took him to the doctor who said that there was nothing wrong with him! At the end of the autumn term the parents were told that he couldn't come back after Christmas unless he was trained, funnily enough he was OK by the start of the spring term

Galaxy

whilst working for the UN and cooking from scratch from vegetables grown in the garden.

The aim when my girl was little was for them to be potty trained so that they would be able to go to play playschool, because they couldn't go if they weren't.
It was a huge incentive!

whilst working for the UN and cooking from scratch from vegetables grown in the garden.

Potty training threads always bring out the most boring competitive details on how one's children were out of nappies almost from birth!

Mine were about 18 months old, all of them but we had the old cloth nappies and they used to get sore from time to time-nothing like a bit of discomfort to hurry the process along . Not that I realised that at the time. I think most schools here would not allow children to start if they were still in nappies ( unless they were special needs of course). I was working with all except the first 2 , it didn't make any difference.

Mattsmum2

MamaCaz

I think it must be because both parents are usually working full time these days, so even when the nursery is on board too, it is a much more difficult process than it was when a child was being looked after on a one-to-one basis (usually with the mother).

Lock down helped with my youngest dgc in that respect. Because of it, she wasn't in nursery as she approached two, so we and her parents managed to get her out of nappies. She didn't find it easy, and I am pretty certain that we would have had to abort our efforts if she had still been going to nursery for part of the week.

I worked full time during late 80’s and 90’s and had no trouble toilet training before nursery.

You toilet trained them before nursery? What age are you talking about?

Most mums are back at work now by the time a child is a year old, with many starting nursery at 6 months.

I find it hard to believe that you had fully toilet trained yours by that age, when many still can't even walk or talk!

I have a feeling that we are not comparing like with like.

(scuse typos)

Mine DD too Shelflife. Dry in the day at 1 and at night at 2. With very little efford on my part. DGS, a YEAR of potty training. But done by 3.