GD disappointing exam results

I guess it depends why the results are lower than hoped. If she is not academic then she will not get hight results in academic exams and your DD should not be hassling her. There might be other things at which she will shine and be happy - or not - she may be someone who will not shine at anything in particular but lead a happy and productive life.

What was her attitude to the exams? How much do they matter to her?

My DGS did no homework at secondary school, but scraped enough GCSEs to get into college and is now at uni doing a degree in sound engineering - I am looking forward to seeing him on the credits of a Hollywood film!

I guess I must ask whether her high achiever Mum leads a relaxed and happy life! - some don't.

I really feel for children and young people these days. There’s so much pressure on them. We have two threads running currently about how best to support grandchildren with school/exams.
I’m not criticising the posts, they obviously come from the position of loving, involved grandparents.
It does seem though to add another layer of stress with parents and grandparents focussed on academic achievement.
Not everyone enjoys or achieves well in academic work. M sometimes, extra tuition makes the child feel worse because they still don’t succeed as they know they’re expected to.

LizzieDrip

So, will she do another set of actual mocks in Jan / Feb next year (Y11)? Forgive me, I’m not familiar with High School processes.

Unless the system has changed due to the ‘Covid Years’ Mocks are taken one year and the following year it’s the Actual GCSEs or A Level Exams.

Mocks aren’t usually taken again.

I know things are up in the air regarding some things though, depending on results of this years A level and GCSEs.

So she will have a year to study to get her Grades up.

luckygirl13 I fear that my high flyer DD doesn’t lead a happy and relaxed life. She earns a lot of money but is stressed most of the time.

English, Maths and a Science are the most important ones. A grade 5 or above is the requirement of most employers and further ed courses. Plus whatever she'd want to carry forward into 6th form.

Tutoring doesn't have to be a burden. It can take the weight of responsibility off the child with someone guiding them, 121, to work specifically on their individual weak areas. As I've just said on another forum, if you get a tutor the child 'clicks' with, it can be a positive experience for them.

My closest friend completely lost her bearings around 16, rebelled, refused to work and left school at 17 with about 3 O levels. In her 20s, she suddenly regained her focus, decided to become a lawyer (admittedly, when there were alternative ways in than a law degree) and ended up a judge. Her pension alone is more than I ever earned at the height of my career.

Let the child be, just encourage and support her and I am sure by the time she is 30, she will have found her metier and be happily settled in a career she enjoys.

MOnica, that’s a good example of how letting children be can pay dividends.

Sorry Oopsadaisy1, but mocks are taken in December or January/ February of Year 11. Covid messed things up a bit, but mocks happened this year.
There are Year 10 mocks as well.

The point is that by the spring of Year 11 the syllabus should be pretty much covered so there is time for revision, filling gaps, catch-up sessions etc.

Let the child be, just encourage and support her and I am sure by the time she is 30, she will have found her metier and be happily settled in a career she enjoys.

Thanks M0nica. This is my

Oops, pressed post too quickly.

This is my view M0nica.

Neither of my sons did well at school. A couple of GCSEs each. No A levels and University was not on the cards for of them. Many years later, one is a Chartered Accountant with his own home and good salary. The other has a fantastic job in an international company with a very good salary earning far more than his cousin who has a first class degree. I had two GCSEs and ended up in a good job that suited my particular skills. We can’t all be geniuses but there is scope for people who aren’t academically brilliant in their teenage years. Good luck to your DGD.

Tutoring doesn't have to be a burden. It can take the weight of responsibility off the child with someone guiding them, 121, to work specifically on their individual weak areas.

I took both my sons to a tutor for maths, one for support through GCSE and one through A Level. They both found it helpful and both achieved the grades they wanted.

Thank you Doodle - that’s very reassuring. Your sons are clearly talented, hard-working young men -proof that the ‘accepted’ academic route isn’t always the best

LizzieDrip

luckygirl13 I fear that my high flyer DD doesn’t lead a happy and relaxed life. She earns a lot of money but is stressed most of the time.

This is why focussing on exam results and putting children under stress is so wrong. Getting through the exams becomes and end in itself and people forget to ask what it is for!

Mostly it seems to be for getting onto the career ladder, where many find themselves locked into stressful lives. And for what?

My OH had a brain like a planet and exam successes collected like charms on a bracelet - where did it get him? A stressful career as a GP that destroyed his well-being; and Parkinsons Disease just before retirement so he did not even have the joy of relaxed years before he died.

A life wasted on worry.

Some of the happiest people I know do not have a collection of academic qualifications.

The suicide rates among students are hugely concerning - not that I am relating this to your DGD, but hey are a sign of an education system gone wrong.

I used to tell mine: it is your life and your choice. I will back you all the way whatever you choose; and love you to bits however many exam passes you have. If you choose to work hard at exams, then that is fine. If you choose some other route then that too is fine. Just do your best at whatever route you choose.

They all did well academically, but finished up in careers totally unrelated to their qualifications.

DD set her heart on training to be an actor. Got a degree in acting (frankly, it wasn't my idea of a degree level course) never acted but worked in the media in various roles for 20 years and then, in her 40s followed up an interest in science with a few freestanding OU courses, then drifted into a OU degree in Science and engineering. She worked hard and did very well. She got snapped up by Science Reseach Centre before she had even finished her degree for her unique mix of science and media and has recently been recruited by a big technical consultancy for the same reason. They pay her a very large salary and get their money's worth and she is absolutely loving it, I have never seen her so happy and fulfilled with life.

The moral is: relax, support your children in what they want to do, unless you are very unfortunate they will muddle through and amaze you.

The other moral, is that all these recent career moves have been made in her late 40s, she is coming up for her 50th birthday, so it doesn't matter what your age. If you have the qualifications people are looking for, age doesn't come into it.

I jumped off the wheel at the age of 50 and pursued a totally different career consisting of lots of really satisfying freelance jobs.

This rush rush rush to cram children's heads with stuff before they are even old enough to have a clue about what they would like to do is dangerous. Give them the tools - basic English, maths plus music and art and these will enable them to progress in their chosen direction.

I do agree with not pressuring children and trying to push them where they don't want to go, but I also agree with Mamie that if it is possible to find the key to the way a child learns he/she may suddenly fly.

I have always had a bad memory, and could never retain lists of facts. However, with some background to the facts, and a 'hook' to hang them on I had no trouble. For instance, I loved French in one school where we had a wonderful teacher who engaged us in role playing like shopping to learn French, with the grammar as background, but had to drop it when I changed to a school that simply learnt verbs by rote for homework and recited them the following day. YouTube has some brilliant channels for just about anything. But I expect your GD knows that.

The ‘academic gene’ seems to run through the female side of our family ….my mum… me…. my daughter ….my granddaughter. The males in family all tend to be plodders! So what !? My grandson has just scraped through his mocks ….my daughter ( child psychologist) couldn’t care less ….because like she says “he’s the kindest lad you’ll ever encounter” …and he is. My granddaughter is gonna be a ‘high flyer’ as well…. and she would never give you her last Rolo!! But she is improving on the kindness stakes…. Slowly!

My son did abysmally with his HSC. He was disappointed though it wasn't unexpected..husband and I gave him a year off to bum around and then said do something. He did a simple degree then at 25 used that to have credits for his law degree. He is now a senior lawyer in a large firm.
Work gets stressful but he loves the law. His wife studied studied studied and is also a high paid professional. I try hard to not interfere but if it comes up with either grandson I will remind the both of them that my son didn't well till mid twenties .

I achieved absolutely nothing in school. I am not in the least academic but my mum always said as long as I know you've done your best I'll be happy. Thank goodness I got that encouragement. When I left school with no qualifications I worked in offices for 2 years until I was old enough to commence Nurse training. I never looked back, never failed an exam , and absolutely loved my job, retiring when I was 68. Thank goodness we all can't be high flying academics. The world just needs people who are dedicated to what they are good at. Give your granddaughter encouragement to find something she likes doing. Being good at it will follow.

Many successful people didn't get great exam results
Einstein failed his 11+

I did appallingly at 'O' level. All my peers were walking away with at least 10 'O' levels whilst I walked away with 3 C grades and 1 B, fortunately those included English and Maths. Within 10 years, I had my Upper Second Honours Degree and carried on to achieve my Pg.D. The only reason I didn't carry on and finish my Master's was because I was self funding so couldn't afford it.
I didn't come into my own until I was engaging in subjects that interested me and weren't entirely dependant on exams to qualify where I become completely brain fogged.
My sister (10 O'levels, mostly A's) gave up her education a year later. She forged her way in Copy writing and is now working in a top University. They are offering her the chance of a funded Ph.D.
At the end of the day, it is your tenaciousness which forges your path, not your GCSE's and there are more ways than being brilliant at school to succeed.

My claim to fame was 7 per cent in a Maths Exam and not much improvement at 83 ! But 90 per cent plus in English Literature and Grammar. Had successful secretarial career culminating in Regional Co-ordinator of well known BBC charity. My daughter failed GCSES spectacularly but managed a College place and achieved an MA through sheer hard work. Everyone has their own level and the will or otherwise to succeed.