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No wonder Charles was so unhappy at school

(104 Posts)
Whitewavemark2 Wed 19-Jun-24 16:27:38

Gordonstoun has been found guilty of child abuse at every level, from sexual, to violence to neglect to racism.

fancyflowers Fri 05-Jul-24 10:45:22

Joseann

The names posters are dredging up on this thread are of people in their 60s and 70s. Yes, abuse did happen back then, it was terrible, but it wouldn't happen today with all the safe guarding measures in place. DH is in his 60s, he knows it went on at his public school, but he is 99% sure it wouldn't be the same now (and he visits these schools and checks them as his job).
I agree with those who say that some people just want to knock boarding schools, having no knowledge of what they are like today.

I agree with this. My granddaughter sometimes boards at her school (a couple of times a week) and she loves it.
Boarding schools today can't be compared with those in the past.
To begin with, all children have smartphones now and can get in touch with their parents.
If you take a look at the school attended by George, Charlotte and Louis, Lambrooke, you will quickly get an idea of all the extra curricular options available.

Joseann Fri 05-Jul-24 10:33:02

RosiesMaw

Yes, it won’t be the first time that somebody has got the wrong end of the stick then proceeded to beat everyone about the head with it!

Exactly.
I don't profess to know everything about independent schools, but where these atrocities have occurred, I do know that many schools have done everything they can to support the victims. Both financially and emotionally, though nothing can compensate for the hurt caused. Schools haven't brushed things under the carpet, or tried to make excuses. They have used it as an opportunity in today's world to talk about things to ensure it never happens again.

Frogs Fri 05-Jul-24 09:33:41

To my mind sending a child to boarding school these days and in the past (especially the younger child) has been the easy way out for a lot of the parents who chose this option..
Everyone knows it’s hard work making sure your child gets to school on time and everything else that goes with it. Getting them home, cooking tea, taking them to various after school clubs, motivating them to do their homework, looking after their mental health, getting them to bed……… the daily grind - even harder these days when both parents work these days.
I can understand it might be a necessity for an older child because of the parent’s jobs.

RosiesMaw Sun 30-Jun-24 10:21:38

Yes, it won’t be the first time that somebody has got the wrong end of the stick then proceeded to beat everyone about the head with it!

Callistemon213 Sun 30-Jun-24 09:31:57

The OP is a non-sequitur anyway.

Joseann Sun 30-Jun-24 08:57:13

Do posters actually believe that abuse, in its many forms, can't possibly happen in state schools then? Really?

Bazza Sun 30-Jun-24 08:28:48

My sister and I were sent to an independent co-ed boarding school for a very good reason. I was nine. I can’t say that I loved it but I understood why I was there. As far as I’m aware there was no abuse or bullying at all, although looking back it was pretty spartan.

nanna8 Sun 30-Jun-24 00:26:29

How people could send their kids away at the age of 8, as they did, beats me. Guess we are all different but you have to wonder if it affects their later relationships.

VioletSky Sun 30-Jun-24 00:05:54

I think there is a time individual children are ready to be away from a loving family and be independent around strangers but it isn't when they are young and hard to know they are ready... Even going to UNI had a massive impact on my son being parted from family

Most of us send our children to regular school and hope sincerely that the people they are with genuinely care for them and don't we cause a fuss when it appears in any way that is not happening lol

But boarding school is even harsher if the staff do not care about the children

henetha Sat 29-Jun-24 23:43:49

It's always seemed strange to me to have children and then send them away to boarding school.

Lankyladman Sat 29-Jun-24 22:19:45

No teacher at Gordonstown is ever going to so stupid as to attempt anything inappropriate with the future King of the Country.

TiggyW Sat 29-Jun-24 22:15:23

Boarding school was never an option in our family. I was perfectly happy at our local state grammar school - until some bright spark decided to abolish them. Yet they still exist in some parts of the country…🤔

welbeck Sat 29-Jun-24 21:43:28

Twig14

Callistemon213 - thank you for your message. I will make sure I collect my DGS for exeats.

what age is your GS ?
i believe boarders from overseas have to have a guardian nominated, who is a UK resident, for legal reasons.
this is not necessarily a relative; there are companies who provide this service for a fee.

V3ra Sat 29-Jun-24 21:14:03

TerriBull

I thought boarding school sounded jolly good fun when I read the Mallory Towers books, it was all those midnight feasts in the dorm. I rather think Hogwarts might have sold the idea of boarding to a later generation.

My seven year old granddaughter loves the Mallory Towers books 📚
She dressed up in character for World Book Day and it really suited her 😊

Cath9 Sat 29-Jun-24 21:13:27

My parents wanted to send us all away to school. Also, all my 8 cousins were sent away to school. It was what one did in those days if one could afford private education. My mother mentioned it was because there were so many pupils in state schools being from the baby boom age.
I will admit the school I attended was so old fashioned. We had to curtsy every night to our head etc. princess Anne came to watch Bennidon school play games against us as my school was very near to Benedin
Excuse if my spelling is weird as I am writing this when it is nearly dark

Lucyd Sat 29-Jun-24 20:12:23

My LH boarded from the age of 6 and loved it. He was a very sporty, friendly person who was, I have been told, very popular at school. He always spoke very fondly of his schooldays and it did sound amazing fun. I could never quite understand why he was sent away to board along with his older brother as they only lived about 15 miles from the school and his mother didn't go out to work. LH told me they were day boys and had to board while his parents went off on holiday. He loved boarding so much they agreed to let the boys stay on. I think, perhaps, that says more about my mil to be honest! I cannot have imagined sending either of my boys away especially the you ger one who was an absolute mummy's boy!

tictacnana Sat 29-Jun-24 18:30:20

I had a work colleague who sent her daughter there foot her 6 th form. She ended up pregnant by a school cleaner and got 2 Es and a U at A level - costing 34 K. 😱

Joseann Sat 29-Jun-24 16:25:21

The names posters are dredging up on this thread are of people in their 60s and 70s. Yes, abuse did happen back then, it was terrible, but it wouldn't happen today with all the safe guarding measures in place. DH is in his 60s, he knows it went on at his public school, but he is 99% sure it wouldn't be the same now (and he visits these schools and checks them as his job).
I agree with those who say that some people just want to knock boarding schools, having no knowledge of what they are like today.

Lizzie44 Sat 29-Jun-24 16:09:13

There have been many reported cases of abuse at public schools. There was a TV programme a while ago on abuse by schoolmasters at public schools in Edinburgh - Nicky Campbell was one of those affected. Part of the scandal was that these known abusers were nontheless given references by the headmaster to apply to other schools. In a separate programme Earl Spencer has spoken about the abuse he received at his school. Heartbreaking stories.

dalrymple23 Sat 29-Jun-24 15:44:16

The late Mr D decided that I was a bloody awful mother, so it would be better if the children boarded. They loved it. Prep school in Northumberland, then Oundle and St Felix, then The Leys. Mr D went to The Dragon, then Rugby. Loved it too. The current OH went to Stowe. Had a fabulous time.

I think that knocking boarding school smacks of the politics of envy. Maybe wrong, but ........................................

Grams2five Sat 29-Jun-24 15:09:01

BlueBelle

I think it’s awful to have a child and send it away I don’t understand it at all and for everyone who says their husband, son, boyfriend had a great time I bet there’s two or more that didn’t

I absolutely agree and I can’t imagine it. We had friends whose children shipped off at 10 or so and I was aghast. Never would I have ever that’s for sure.

DamaskRose Sat 29-Jun-24 15:02:06

My P-in-L, of necessity, sent five of their six children to boarding school in another country. I would say that all five were emotionally scarred though none was abused. All are in their 70s/80s and they and their families have suffered accordingly. I live near Gordonstoun and have friends who have sent their children there and they have thrived, things have changed there, thank God. I also have friends who want to take their child away before he becomes anymore “entitled”! And yet another friend who, even though he went to Gordonstoun is not going to send his children. So all that goes to show that what works for some does not work for others. More stringent safeguarding was needed and is now, hopefully, in place.

Anniebach Sat 29-Jun-24 14:50:33

You have chosen to name 2 family members from different generations and 2 people who were not royal children

deanswaydolly Sat 29-Jun-24 14:39:18

TerriBull

I thought boarding school sounded jolly good fun when I read the Mallory Towers books, it was all those midnight feasts in the dorm. I rather think Hogwarts might have sold the idea of boarding to a later generation.

smile

grandtanteJE65 Sat 29-Jun-24 14:08:57

My father was shocked at the schools chosen for Prince Charles and Princess Anne, that I do remember. Not that he had any say in the matter, as an ordinary citizen, and as he had not himself been to boarding school or had ever considered sending his children away to school, you could rightly call him prejudiced.

I honestly do not think any boys' boarding school of that era would have been better.

Since the 1970's many of them not only in Britain but all over the world have been accused of ignoring sexual abuse either between masters and pupils or between older and younger pupils.

I have no idea whether sexual abuse was prevalent at Gordenstoun or not, when King Charles was there, but I do know that in my childhood and teenage years ( I am a year younger than Princess Anne so this is relevant) most middle class Scottish parents were shocked by the way the royal children were being brought up, their public behaviour, and the immorality of some of their adult relations, such as the Duke and Duchess of Hamilton, Princess Margaret and Lady Mountbatten - not so suprising Prince Andrew turned out as he did.