I don't know where to start, there is so much to my story but I will try and put it in a nutshell. I was a single parent to my daughter who I love dearly. It wasn't easy and I made many mistakes. My family live thousands of miles away and her father was not interested in his child (he did have other children). It wasn't easy not having the emotional and financial support and childcare was very expensive but I managed.
My daughter seems to resent me and I always seem to walk on eggshells when I am with her. She has always used the children as a weapon. A few years ago I didn't see them for nearly 2 years. My grandson didn't even recognise me and had to be told who I was. I then saw them regularly for nearly a year and then she stopped contact again. There was no argument, she just decided to stop talking to me and blocked me off her phone. There is a family friend who loves my daughter and GC and I would get information from her about how my GC were doing. Now my D has stopped that friend from telling me anything about her and my GC. It hurts and sometimes I can't stop crying because I miss them desperately. It's hard. I have in the past called her, written to her pleading to let me see my GC. I have told her she doesn't have to see me if she does want to though I would love to see her. I have tried telling her that by punishing me she is depriving her children of the only biological grandparent in their lives (the other grandparents are not interested). I have pleaded with her, begged her but nothing works.
Last year she needed to be in hospital and rather than let me look after them she chose to put them in care. This greatly affected my GD in particular and when I was allowed to see them I noticed a change in her. She was very weepy and cried at the drop of a hat. She said didn't like being in care and the family they put them wasn't that nice to them. I tried asking social services if I could have the children but was told unless their mother allowed it I couldn't. The friend I mentioned above also thinks my GC and I should be allowed to have contact. I now haven't seen them since August last year. It tears me up. I am not even allowed photos. My GD told me last time we had contact that every time she missed me she would go into her bedroom and cry because she didn't want her mum to know she was missing me.
I contacted the Grandparents Association but was advised by them that grandparents have no rights. I had been hoping to take her to court for contact. The only thing that makes sense to me is that she doesn't want to identify with me because of my colour (D is mixed race and I am black). She did have African names but changed her name by deep poll. I used to tell her she had the best of both worlds as she would never have to straighten her hair, bleach her skin or use a tanning booth.
As I said above I love my daughter and of course my GC and I have tried everything. Some of my colleagues have contact with their GC and whilst I am happy for them, it is difficult sometimes for me when they talk about their GC. It's not their fault of course but hard for me. Seeing children of a similar age to my GC is also hard for me when I am out and about.
I am so sorry for the long post and I don't know why I have written because I know there is nothing I can do about it.
