LostChild the estrangement threads are very sad and I see that you have perhaps posted before and I'm not aware of those posts so be aware of that in my reply.
I would say the direct response to your question is that, assuming you are now an adult, your life is your own and your feelings are your own. If you feel damaged by your life with whoever you feel a need to estrange yourself from and you have attempted to discuss your feelings with them and they will not hear, then estranging from them is protecting yourself from further damage and giving yourself the chance to heal and perhaps have a better life in the future.
I imagine you know the research that has now come to light about the lifelong and life limiting physiological and psychological damage that is brought about as a result of abuse. If you feel you have suffered abuse then I hope you are able to access resources, therapy etc, to help you sort yourself out. Family Constellation therapy is very helpful.
They certainly can, and do, mess you up, your mum and dad, as the poet said. And they were undoubtedly messed up in their turn but if they won't even begin to hear, then you must look after yourself and find support as best you can.
Some families are hell, some people are temperamentally difficult possibly mentally ill, some people in each generation are traumatised and unable to be reasonable, rational people who will be able to change. Accepting this, understanding ourselves, giving communication and reconciliation a shot and then, if necessary removing ourselves is my justification for estrangement.