Siblings and wider family

So many really sad stories. It does sound as if much of it has to do with control. I can't understand why falling out with one person means you also have to fall out with their friends or family. We have a dear friend who is divorced and we are still friends with her ex-DH, why not? I think they should be separate issues.

I wonder what happens as time goes on and children grow up thinking that cutting people out of lives is the right thing to do. Do they feel it is OK to cut their parents out? What happens when a parent dies and leaves everything to other people, does that cause issues?

Just musing.

It's so hurtful isn't it Llyn.

My mother has lost her only GGC because of our son's estrangement from us and Mr. S.'s mum has lost 2 of hers.

I think a lot of it is about control Nonnie. For some, if you don't agree with them then you're against them which means you become their enemy.

I agree that you should be able to remain in contact with the person or people someone's fallen out with. What would it have been like for our DS if we'd made him feel guilty for keeping in touch with his brother and nephews?

There are many repercussions of estrangement. Maybe some just don't look that far ahead and consider that they may be teaching their own children by example, something that they may later regret.

As far as inheritance goes, I don't understand why someone whose refused contact with a family member would expect to be a beneficiary, but no doubt there are some who do.

My sons in law are estranged from their fallen out families. I think down to different views on financial matters and side taking.

My ES1 abandoned his GP , Aunty's Uncles , cousins and siblings as well as us and so far that's what my ES2 has done. Sad! So sad for all families affected!

It's sad for those individuals too because they are most likely only upset with their parents and then end up alone with no one. Or at least with no one from their birth family. They must surely feel sad.

We tried for 25 years to have good relationships with my in laws. Sometimes it was better than others, but once it started affecting the children, we broke away completely, 20 years ago. The best thing we ever did. I always say there’s many difficult/ unpleasant people out there, and some of us are unfortunately related to them. This life is too short for all this animosity. Best to put your energy into people you love....and who love you back.

Yes the best things are mutual @Toadinthehole Anything one way is exhausting and painful, like unrequited love.