I am so distraught I feel like I'm grieving

Hi Looby33. I think it's early days and it may not be you that is cut off... Just everyone while she deals with the relationship breakdown. Try not to panic or contact her too much and hopefully things will be OK. Please please get some help from the doctor for how you feel x

I brought up my grandson for ten years until he went to live with his mother. It's a very sudden change of responsibilities and routines, but gradually you will adapt and it's best to focus on other things in your life - or begin new pastimes that you didn't have time for before.

Once things settle down, I'm sure that they will visit you. Just remain friendly and accessible, don't guilt-trip their mother.

Looby33 Nowt wrong with being obsessive when you are grieving, it's how we get through it. Cry as much as you like and I don't believe you are suicidal so much as so desperately hurting that you don't know what to do with ourself.
Those babies need you, remember that and think ahead.

As others have said, it is painful now but these things DO get better and there are some very hopeful signs in your post.

Good advice from all on here Looby and yes, it is a sort of bereavement, a sudden awful loss, and you will grieve.
If you previously had a good relationship with your son’s partner, it could be that after the initial separation she will relent and allow you some contact.Are the other grandparents
Living anywhere near you or hundreds of miles away?
If no physical contact at the moment, are you allowed to write to them or speak on the phone? Could you write or email her to let her know ( without blaming her) that you feel
Heartbroken to have no contact at all?At the very least, she should know the consequences for you of her actions.

Can you get in touch with her? Perhaps she will relent and let you see your GC especially if her quarrel is with your son and not her?

Hello Looby33 sorry to read what's happened. Yes, you are undoubtedly grieving and you need to treat yourself with care. It's the suddenness of it all which has left you reeling, so you are in shock and must be gentle with yourself.

Well done for reaching out for help here, but if it feels overwhelming at any point, do go and talk to your GP, or seek out some counselling. It helped me, but it has to be the right person for you.

Try to spend time with people who understand and help you feel positive. Write a journal. I didn't think it would help me, but it did help to write down any and every thought I had. Any exercise book will do and just get all those thoughts and hurts down on paper. Cry as much as you need to. Crying helps to release anxieties.

There are shoulders to lean on here and there's always someone with time to reply to your posts. Listening is what we're good at, so do let us know how you get on.

Hello looby33 (and noregrets). So sad to read your stories - I’ve been through this many years ago and know the absolute agony that estrangement causes.

However don’t give up hope that things may come good as they eventually did for me albeit after many years. My DD and I have been reconciled now for longer than we were estranged (5 years).

Please take it one day at a time and let yourself grieve for what you’ve lost. Someone on another thread said it was like a wave and it was best to let it wash over you than try and outrun it.

You’ll find so many kind and empathetic people on these threads who are always happy to share their experiences and offer their advice. Come and post when you feel down and one of us will try and help you up again!

Some, like me, are reconciling and will show that there can be a happy ending although I always think of it as a work in progress - things will never go back to how they were and we have to find a new way of growing the relationship.

Be kind to yourselves and make today a good day - you can be happy while this is going on but you have to choose that over despair.

I'm still pretty much in the same state so really feel for you. Please, if you feel suicidal, or even if you don't, ring a helpline. If you are in the UK, the Samaritans are there 24/7, free phone 116123. Is your son going to be having contact with the children?

I just feel I'm not coping well and my feelings are getting worse I had to ask myself if I felt suicidal the other day and I feel ashamed for even saying it now, and wonder if I'm becoming a bit obsessive or is it just because its early days..

Thank you so much it just made me cry again lol but you are right, I'm just hoping with time the constant heart ache gets easier, x

I know it is little comfort, but you are not alone, DS has taken his children to another country and refuses to come back for a visit and finds every excuse why we can't visit him. It is a bereavement and I can only hope that eventually things improve. You had even more contact than we have lately, so must be worse for you, and Christmas will be really painful, but we will get through it. There are others on here who have lost their children and grandchildren to terrible diseases, at least ours are healthy, as far as we know, and when older may well want contact. I can at least send you virtual flowers and heartfelt sympathy!

By the way I've done nothing wrong I got on well with her before she left she knew how much I loved those babies and did everything for them, I know that we are classed as working class and are looked down on by her parents who also disagreed with her dating my son, as we was not wealthy enough and this is why she didn't speak to her parents for 6 years, and in that time I've treated her like a daughter..and cannot believe shes treating me like this..