Best example of how to estrange a partner from family?

I do not think H would have fallen in love with M if she had been a homebody who was already comfortable in "society"

Theyre using each other IMO. Neither want to carry on where their own upbringings left off

One wonders how their son will be brought up, and how much contact with his family, both sides, he will be allowed.
Mummy Darling scenario?

This is why so often a new partner is a catalyst to estrangement. The things you have put up with alone you see differenlt when you have to bring a new partner or children into the situation.

When people start families of their own it often highlights disfunction in their family of origin that they excused up to that point. You look at your child and find it hard to continue to excuse your parents treatment of their children once you cannot imagine doing that to your own!

Her mum is quite lovely it seems though
Not plain sailing there either, didnt she live with her dad not her mum as a teen? Ive heard interney rumours that she had been estranged from her mum in the past but I havent seen that backed up with any evidence

Or, Harry always wanted to pull away but never wanted to do it alone?

I do, Namsnanny and I try not to.

You are right. I’d forgotten about Charles!

OutsideDave -- I thought Harry was #6 in line... Isn't it Charles, William, his 3 kids and then Harry?

Poor Meghan...her family of origin is nuttier than squirrel poo. Her mum is quite lovely it seems though. I’m glad she and Harry are getting away. Harry didn’t chose to be the spare and it’s ridiculous to think he owes anything to ‘the firm’ as #5 in line!

Plenty of younger couples are faced with making difficult decisions in an effort to make necessary changes to the dynamics of family relationships - And even if their marriages/relationships fail, their efforts to bring about change will have inspired others to do the same- Much like passing the baton in a relay race-

Any adult child who returns to the family fold after estrangement isn't going to be the same person they were when they left it- Harry is no exception-

I started reading a book the other day, a memoir, and had to set it down because it was too depressing- The 70s were depressing, the way people treated each other was awful but considered normal simply because dysfunction had a strangle hold on so many families-

People of all ages are making efforts to bring about change, much to others dismay, others who want to maintain old, unhealthy status quos-

roaecarmel ... no silly you've got the wrong end of the stick! I was replying to your
^ He lives in a bubble and swapped one bubble for another etc., ^
And I replied that I thought that's what we all do!

Hetty58 -- Because some people always side against wayward daughters/DiL's regardless of the situation and never accept that just perhaps Megan and Harry made the decision JOINTLY.

The fact that the Royal Family FEEL they should have a say in how Megan and Harry live their life is their feeling. Megan and Harry probably FEEL that they have a right to live their life as they see fit. Whose feelings are "righter"? Which adults feelings' supersede whose? Hint -- No ones.

Just because the Royal family is institutionalized dysfunction, where the senior members dictate to the 'lesser members' how they will live/be, doesn't mean that the chain of dysfunction cannot be broken in that family as well.

They are handling things perfectly in my opinion. They set a boundary, did not try to negotiate (negotiation denotes a meeting of equals of which they are not viewed) and then made the best decision(s) for them.

And as a final thought, perhaps Harry ALWAYS wanted to walk away and until He found a loving and supporting partner He never felt secure enough to do so, knowing He would likely be shunned as an out-cast by his 'family'.

I'm sure that Harry has a mind of his own. Why are people so willing to blame Meghan? It seems only logical that he'd want to distance himself and his family from all the madness.

‘They ran her out of town and now they’re mad she’s leaving’
edition.cnn.com/2020/01/11/opinions/prince-harry-meghan-markle-blame-drexler/index.html

I prefer this version of events.
And the sentence I quoted doesn’t refer to the Royal Family.

No one on Gransnet knows anything about Meghan and Harry’s private lives.

But we do know that our gutter press distorts and makes things up to sell their own newspapers.

Not at all do I see her as you depict her. Have you ever met the woman or are you just a ‘gobble up the DM’ junky?

Strangely I woke up this morning resenting my SiL for attempting to alienate me from my DD and GS. It's not working because she and I are working very hard not to allow it to. I resent that he's depriving me of spending more than three occasions in the year when I can be in their lives.

I imagine the Queen too is sad she'll see very little, if anything of Archie growing up.

Good point, Gagjo, about Diana, etc. Not to mention that she had her conflicts w/ the Queen, etc. too. Perhaps Meghan is reminding Harry of Diana a little bit.

Conspiracy theories everywhere!

Harry feels the paparazzi killed his mum. No one can blame him for wanting to protect his family and trying to escape. I feel very sorry for them.

But Harry isn't William and never was. As I recall, he was always a little rebellious. Perhaps there's a part of him that likes what Meghan's doing?

I've been thinking that their situation reminds me of one of the classic IL situations and the classic case of mismatched expectations (rhyme not intentional, sorry), The ILs have certain ideas about how a young couple/DIL is supposed to fit into their family, but either the DIL or DIL and DS see things differently. MIL feels they need to work things out together - or in this case, GMIL (as in Queen calling for a meeting), but DIL doesn't feel she and DS need to discuss their choices w/ anyone (as in Meghan declining to attend the meeting b/c, from what I've heard, she "didn't think it was necessary"). And, of course, DS/DH (Prince Harry) is caught in the middle (attends the meeting alone, but keeps in touch w/ Meghan).

Clearly, the Queen and other Royals feel any changes in Harry and Meghan's roles need to be decided by them all as a family. But, just as clearly, Meghan feels she and Harry should be able to decide to live wherever they want and scale back their royal roles w/o input from the Queen or any other Royals.

And, you know, ordinarily I'd agree w/ her. But as I understand it, the Royal family has its own set of rules. And Meghan knew this is what she was getting into, no doubt, when she wed Harry. Also, as I said elsewhere, Queen Elizabeth has come along way as far as accepting the non-traditional choices of young Royals, and I think that should be appreciated. But IDK if Harry and Meghan see that or think it should impact their behavior.

Thanks Namsnanny, we are trying to stay upbeat but it is very hard.

If it applies to everybody, namsnanny, so you give yourself the shivers too?

That applies to everybody though rosecarmel.

Sounds positive love0c

Namsnanny She gives me the shivers too. Unfortunately we have a DIL very similar. Our son can not see her for what she is yet? Fortunately our son is determined to keep our relationship. We as parents are ready to be there to pick up the pieces when she hurts him.