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Estrangement

SUPPORT for all living with the pain of estrangement

(1001 Posts)
Smileless2012 Sun 26-Apr-20 14:05:51

Come on ladies, get postingsmile

hugshelp Tue 12-May-20 15:04:26

Hi Yoga, smiles and all.

Your VE day sounds lovely Yoga, though the so near and yet so far thing is very hard with our loved ones. But still so much better than the situation with our estranged ones.

I'm finding it harder not to think of our ES more often when we are cooped up and there are less lovely things to distract me. I'm feeling miffed that the latest government guide-lines seem to say that DH could drive us to a park, the sea-side or such-like and we can sit around all-day safely distanced from hundreds of strangers but he can't take me to see our DD and us all sit safely distanced in her garden. I'm not able to safely take myself due to sight impairment. So we will carry on seeing her briefly when we drop things off occisionally for now I suppose.

Smileless2012 Tue 12-May-20 16:47:36

I wonder if 'so near yet so far' is worse Hugshelphmm. I saw one of our lovely girls this morning and had a brief conversation, at a safe distance of course, and all I wanted to do was give her a big hug,

It must be beyond frustrating to see a family member and be unable to have that physical contact.

The gale force winds of the past two days have gone thank goodness and our plants have survived. It's very chilly here but we've hadsunshineall day and the sea is back to its beautiful bluesmile.

Smileless2012 Tue 12-May-20 17:32:25

Awwww Mr. S.'s memory of Latin has just been triggered by a question on 'The Chase' so he's been saying Latin words of love to meblush.

hugshelp Tue 12-May-20 19:10:34

When we drop things off for our DD we sit on our car at a distance while she sits in her porch. Just chat for a few mins. I do miss the hugs hugely but it is still wonderful to see her face. Would just love to be allowed to stay a bit longer, sit on the grass for a bit, safe distance of course.

Yogagirl Thu 14-May-20 08:00:39

Smileless flowers for you too.

Smileless2012 Mon 18-May-20 09:37:11

Thanks for the flowers Yogagirlsmile.

Hope you're all well and had a good weekend. It's difficult to keep track of the days when they all feel the same. Unless it's good enough weather for a BBQ, I'm still doing a roast dinner on Sunday's so at least we know when it's that day of the weekgrin.

There was a definite increase of traffic here at the weekend. The road that goes the length of the sea front was closed off and when Mr. S. went for his bike ride, he said there weren't that many on the beaches but a popular park was very busy.

Even though we can walk to the beach in 20 minutes, we're keeping away and have stopped going to the park as it's too busy to maintain social distancing.

Thankfully there are plenty of places we can go to walk our dogs and let them off their leads for a run where hardly anyone else goes.

hugshelp Mon 18-May-20 23:26:46

Evening smiles. You're right, I'm forever asking DH what day it is. Which is pretty pointless as he reads the paper he gets delivered a day late atm, he leaves them 'in quarantine' for a day, so he's always a day behind lol.
We had chicken dinner, I do like my Sunday dinner.

Smileless2012 Tue 19-May-20 10:06:02

Your DH reading yesterday's news papers isn't going to help you keep track hugshelpgrin.

I've pretty much stuck with my weekly routine for house work which helps keep track but we have changed our weekly shopping day as I'm not able to go the the gym and Mr. S. can't visit his mum or go bowling.

We like our Sunday dinners too, especially chicken.

hugshelp Tue 19-May-20 22:09:15

Evening ladies. We had a lovely walk this morning. Just fields and a few trees but it was heavenly. And DH made sausages and cauli cheese for dinner which is one of my favourites. I feel well treated today.

Madgran77 Wed 20-May-20 19:04:52

Every day I have to think what day it is ...and then frequently conclude it is, say, Tuesday when in fact its Wednesday!

Causes quite a few debates about whether we are doing the shopping, or I am doing on line Pilates ...or whatever!!

And I can't believe that I am actually looking forward to going to Sainsburys for the change of scene/activity these days!!!!!!

Smileless2012 Thu 21-May-20 10:23:47

Madgrangrinhow the simple things in life bring so much pleasure at the moment.

I was thrilled that I managed to get a friend whose been in total lock down since this all began, some SR flour last week, and this week, some more Mint Imperials!!

Mr. S. has just made me laugh with something posted on FB. 'First of all it was heat that can kill the virus, then alcohol and then direct sunlight, so if you see me naked and drunk lying in thesunshineI'm doing scientific research'grin

I hope that wasn't Mr. S.'s way of telling me his plans for the dayshock.

Sounds as if your DH is looking after you hugshelpsmile. We had a lovely walk yesterday afternoon with our dogs. I love to see them running off their leads. We enjoyed a lovely BBQ on our return courtesy of Mr. S. and enjoyed a beautiful, warm and peaceful evening on our roof terracesmile.

hugshelp Thu 21-May-20 13:50:21

Afternoon all.
I totally relate to looking forward to going shopping Madgran. Was having a telephone chat with our elderly cousin, whose son is bringing hers, and when she said she misses just being able to pop to the shops she sounded really wistful.
Well done getting the flour and mints smiles. We had a video chat with our other cousin (sister to the above) and she was saying someone in their tiny rural village had bought a 16kg bag of flour from somewhere and it was being shared carefully around the whole village.
Mr S's joke really made me chuckle.
It always sounds like you and Mr S look after each other too and your day sounded lovely yesterday. We did a few jobs in the garden then sat in our favouirite sunny corner, Mr H with his book - me with my camera. I was rewarded with a starling feeding his youngster and some sparrows bathing. That made me very happy. Off back into the garden this afternoon. Have a good one everyone. xxx

Yogagirl Fri 22-May-20 07:30:38

Madgran me too re forgetting what day it is, never thought I would. My DD sent me a pic of my GS that I haven't seen for 7.5ys, it said 'happy birthday' on the top, I said to my DD but his birthday is tomorrow, Wednesday I missed a day, missed his birthday, just as well as just brings sadness & all those sad thoughts bubbling up.

Off to the beach after my coffee, not such a nice day, so shouldn't be so many visitors from London!

Smileless2012 Fri 22-May-20 09:21:53

Morning ladies.

It's lovely to watch the birds isn't it hugshelp. I love to watch them flying which we see a lot more of because of our roof terrace. It fascinates me how they manage in a really strong wind.

Maybe being a day behind and not realising it was your GS's birthday wasn't a bad thing as you say Yogagirl. 7.5 years!! the same for us as you know; it hardly seems possible does itsad.

I hope you had a lovely walk on the beach and there weren't too many who'd had the same idea.

It's over cast and very breezy here but warm and it's stopped raining which is a good thing as we're off to Aldi and I don't fancy having to queue in the rain.

hugshelp Sat 23-May-20 22:32:00

Hope you enjoyed the beach yoga. The sadness comes up when it will, doesn't it, it's a blessing when we forget for a while.

The birds have certainly had a bit of a buffeting her today smiles but yes they seem to handle it remarkably well. We have a tail-less blackbird visiting atm. Guessing he had a lucky escape but lost his tail. Hopefully he'll grow a new one. Hope your Aldi shop went well and you stayed dry.

Smileless2012 Sun 24-May-20 09:35:48

Morning ladies.

The wind has gone thank goodness. It's very frustrating when all you can do is watch as spring flowers and beautiful shrubs are taking a battering and there's nothing you can do.

It does sound as if the tail-less blackbird had a lucky escape hugshelp. The Aldi shop went well thanks for asking and the weather was sunny and dry which makes it a more pleasant experience when having to queue.

I got into conversation with a lady who was telling me about her frustrations home schooling her son. The work isn't the issue, it's getting him to actually do it which must be difficult when there are so many distractions at home, that aren't there in schools.

She's a full time carer for her H and supplements their income working in a local B&B which of course she can't do at the moment as they're closed. She said B&B owners are hoping to re open in July. I hope for her sake they do but I'm not sure that will be the case.

hugshelp Sun 24-May-20 18:33:36

Evening all.
Glad the weather has improved for you smiles. Still a bit windy here but not as bad and forecast to be nice tomorrow.

One of my friends was telling me about her homeschooling too, her little one was complaining about the work and she said, 'come on you do it for your teacher' and got the reply, 'yes but miss 'x' knows how to do maths'.
Oh dear. It is expecting a lot of parents though, she has 5 children and is running 3 small businesses from home.

Smileless2012 Sun 24-May-20 20:30:49

Oh dear 'out of the mouths of babes'; your poor friend hugshelp certainly has her hands full doesn't she.

Smileless2012 Tue 26-May-20 09:31:46

Morning everyone.

Such a beautiful day yesterday and spending the afternoon on our roof terrace in the sunshine was almost like being on holiday.

I should have been flying to Italy tomorrow with a couple of friends for a weeks' holidaysad. We'll either get a full refund or be able to re book for a later date.

TBH I've no desire to re book anything abroad even for next year at the moment; just the thought of the ease of restrictions is as much of a concern as it is a relief.

Our lodge which we're hoping we'll be able to go back too in July will be our holiday destination for this year and maybe next year too.

We have a cottage booked in Portsmouth in August so we can spend time with friends but if social distancing is still in place there's no point in us going and I'm not sure how I feel about staying there, when people may well have been in before us.

We'll have to wait and see about that and in the meantime it's good to have some lovely weather to enjoy. DS has talked about coming back for Christmas so hopefully that will go ahead, giving us something lovely to look forward.

Smileless2012 Wed 27-May-20 09:44:13

Morning ladies, hope you're all well and coping with the restrictions.

Another lovely afternoon spent on our roof terrace yesterday but despite the sunshine there's a chill in the breeze today, so I'm hoping it warms up later.

We sat outside the front of our house yesterday and our lovely girls did the same for half an hour for a chat. It was lovely to see them and have a laugh. They're worn out bless them, starting work at 2.00 am as they work in the online shopping department of Sainsbury's.

Always able to see the bright side, they said at least it's not playing havoc with their social life because like everyone, they don't have one at the moment.

So looking forward to being to get together with them when we're able too; a Mr. S. BBQ has been requested and will be gladly provided as soon as we can.

Something we all have to look forward too, getting together with dear friends and family and being able to share a hug.

hugshelp Wed 27-May-20 20:37:09

Evening all.
Sounds like you had a lovely day smiles. Hope things are safe enough for you for August. We had a chilly day yesterday, but nice again today.
Bit of messing around with my camera, some gardening and a shopping delivery today.
I hear we may be able to visit with another household soon. That will be nice if so.

Smileless2012 Thu 28-May-20 18:17:09

Evening ladies. A lovely afternoon spent enjoying the fabulous weather and trying to ignore the fact that I should have been in Italy with two friends, having flown out yesterday.

We had pasta for our tea yesterday and Mr. S. spoke to me with a not very good Italian accent, but he did his bestgrin.

I hope you got everything you asked for with your shopping delivery. We shall be making our weekly trip to Aldi in the morning and have a couple of other shops I need to go too so I'll be glad to get back home again.

Have a good evening everyone x

Smileless2012 Sat 30-May-20 13:25:24

It's certainly a lot busier here than it has been. Shops selling candy floss, ice creams, fish and chip takeaways were all open yesterday and a lot of people were on the beach according to Mr. S. when he went for a bike ride.

This is a large town so they may well be locals but rather them than me. We're not changing anything in our routine and wont be for some time, apart from Mr. S. playing bowls with very strict rules for social distancing.

I had a go at my hair again yesterday and am very pleased with the result. I'm getting better with practice which is just as well as I don't think hairdressers will be re opening until at least July. Has anyone else been brave enough for a bit of home hairdressing?

At least our dogs will get a professional groom next week, it comes to something when your dogs end up looking better than we dohmm.

Sparkling Mon 01-Jun-20 06:55:37

Smileless how is your dh, thank goodness he got his hospital treatment before the lockdown. Just comfort yourself with the fact that it was better weather here than Italy. I realised I never had anytime away from husband except a time when I was in hospital, the first I went away with girl friends I was widowed.

Smileless2012 Mon 01-Jun-20 09:03:04

It would have been my first holiday without him Sparkling in nearly 40 years of marriage. He's fully recovered and we're so thankful that having waited for 2 years he had his surgery just in time.

I hadn't realised we've had better weather here than in Italysmile. We got a full refund and will think about booking something next year depending on how things are.

Mr. S. and I had planned 2 weeks abroad in October but we wont be doing that now and are hoping that DS in Aus. will come back for Christmas.

We're looking forward to the site where we have our lodge re opening so we can spend time there for a change of scene, and where we'll be able to continue social distancing. No idea when that will be; July possibly!

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