Madgran -- I guess he probably gets his numbers from the same place most do. Logically, since he hears from thousands of abused children and since most of us didn't come from families with 99 siblings there has to be a co-relation between the number of abused children to abusive parents.
I think it's well established that there are no definitive studies/numbers on who is what when abuse and Narcissism are concerned.
That said, regardless of numbers, what stands out is his breakdown of what was written. He showed where the projection and gas-lighting was occurring etc. There are very key ways to 'spot' dysfunctional/abusive behavior and as he said, it's not difficult to spot if you know what to look for. And I guess he's heard "the pony story" a few times as well as "the 'wrong colored' car" as parent's stated reason for estrangement.
One of the ways to know when someone is dysfunctional/abusive is, IF you substitute Adult Child with Spouse or Ex-Spouse and it no longer becomes an "okay thought", then the problem is the parent. PERIOD. Any issues the AC may have is of no consequence IF the parent is abusive. Children (adult or minor) have NO POWER to stop a parent from abusing. That's why Ollie says the only way to stop the abuse is cutting off/No Contact. That's his opinion and he's free to speak it. I am on the fence on that myself.
It's interesting that some are only focused on what he said wrong and not anything of what he said that was correct. And yes he's insulting, he's sick and tired of the abuse and the gas-lighting and the BS that these type of abusers throw around and victim blaming/shaming their children while crying they are the 'true victim'. On that he and I agree.
HolyHannah Sun 24-May-20 07:51:22
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