Hope For Estranged Grandparents

I would say that all the adults involved would have to behave like adults Sparkling.

I posted earlier that it's up to the parents to keep any negative thoughts and feelings they have toward the GP's away from the children, and GP's need to do likewise.

It's up the the parents to ensure that the children don't have any feelings of fear, guilt or disloyalty because they're spending time with their GP's.

I'm sure you're right that if GP's just start the legal process, whether or not it even gets to court, and regardless if they win, this "scuppers any chance of reconnecting with estranged child".

I would think that the GP's are aware of that distinct possibility and take that into account when making their decision,

If its not OK to point out a story has changed and been embeleshed (when it has) to prove a point, then it is not OK that Nonnie told me that my experience was affecting my thoughts on this subject and to refer to me as damaged when I clearly didn't like it.

Do you therefore agree that *Nonnie was on the wrong too Smileless?

Smileless2012

Parents refusing to adhere to court orders does happen and is wrong. It happens when there's been a divorce, one parent making it virtually impossible for the other to have access to their children.

Since the virtual non existence of legal aid, especially when it comes to family cases, it can be impossible for the parent being denied contact to go back to court because they simply can't afford it.

I think the fact that some GP's finance their AC's legal fees was mentioned on this thread earlier, and it's not surprising if they can see their AC suffering because they can't get access to their own children and don't have the financial means to go back to court.

I know people where the father had no interest in his children, allowed the mother and children to move. His parents then lost the plot and made him go to court to bring them back.
Father gives his parents all his time.

Note, father was still getting time with his children, But his parents were upset that they couldn’t have on demand time.

You can’t tell me that wasn’t just about control?

Starblaze "I'm only being an honest" so it's OK for you to be honest but it's not OK for someone to give an honest answer to a question, you asked three times in one post.

I would like to know how it can be workable without upsetting the children. I would not pursue it. Being a grandparent is wonderful, I know that, but not if the relationship with the parents is acrimonious as I think once the courts are involved it scuppers any chance of reconnecting with estranged child. That’s just my opinion of course, but I wouldn’t have my children hurt if I could avoid it.

I think the bar was already set pretty low MissA and not by me. I'm only being honest, I think the story has been embellished. That's not the same as calling someone a total liar or telling someone that perhaps they are the problem or any of the other passive aggressive nonsense that goes on.

For someone so sensitive about what you perceive is said to you, you sure don't mind dishing it out, starblaze

Yes definitely in regard to this story.

Maybe Nonnie will fill us in further information/details.

I don't think using the term embellishment is appropriate Starblaze as that suggests that "a detail especially one that is untrue, is added to a statement or story to make it more interesting". Was it your intention to suggest that this is what Nonnie does?

You can apply back to the court if someone repeatedly breaches the order, and the police can then be involved

Yes, the point being that you need to apply back to the court for approval to have it enforced. Sounds good in theory but Bibbity put it perfectly:

*Yes. They can. But Realistically they don’t.
They don’t do it for parents. They would never do it for GPs*

A court order would be pretty pointless if nobody could enforce it

That is exactly the reason so many parents feel let down by the family court system. Because the order is not enforced for them.

You can apply back to the court if someone repeatedly breaches the order, and the police can then be involved.

A court order would be pretty pointless if nobody could enforce it.

I too would like to hear from Nonnie if the story has further embellishments

She did clarify, she said the police can be called to enforce a court order. She knows of a case where that happened. Two policemen responded to the call and managed to get the parents to be reasonable so presumably there was no need for the order to be enforced

Perhaps you should work on digesting what I am saying.

The police CAN’T be called to enforce a contact order in the U.K. So Nonnie CAN’T know of a case where it happened.

She did clarify, she said the police can be called to enforce a court order. She knows of a case where that happened. Two policemen responded to the call and managed to get the parents to be reasonable so presumably there was no need for the order to be enforced.

Perhaps you should work on digesting what Nonnie is saying. Neither she nor anyone else has said "the courts are there to make decisions based on the parents being unreasonable".

It's been said on numerous occasions that the courts are there to make decisions based on what's best for the children, and those decisions take into account the child's welfare and their right to know their extended family.

Nonnie has already explained that the police responded to a 101 call and stayed with the parents long enough to make them see sense

It would be helpful if people actually read the posts before responding

Let me help you with that Smileless.

Nonnie said:

Smile if a parent subverts the court order then the police can be called to enforce it. I know of a case where that happened

And then she said:

It was not what happened in the case I referred to, 2 policemen came after a call to 101 and they stayed long enough to make the parent be reasonable

So I asked her to clarify what actually happened as her two statements are contradictory. What part didn’t I read?

Smileless I agree, that would not make any sense. Thee vast majority of the time it is the children doing the etranging.

The courts "are there to act within the current legal framework"; at last the message is getting through

I am perfectly aware of the criteria which requires to be met and the legislation in question. That is why I have repeatedly said that the courts are not there to police parental decisions. The legislation is there for a reason. The success rates are low for the same reason.

Perhaps you should work on getting the “message” through to Nonnie who seems to think that the courts are there to make decisions based on the parents being “unreasonable” as opposed to the grandparents actually meeting the criteria to satisfy a Contact Order.

"be reasonable" not see sense.

Nonnie has already explained that the police responded to a 101 call and stayed with the parents long enough to make them see sense.

It would be helpful if people actually read the posts before responding.

The criteria has been discussed at great length.

The courts "are there to act within the current legal framework"; at last the message is getting through.

It was not what happened in the case I referred to, 2 policemen came after a call to 101 and they stayed long enough to make the parent be reasonable. Star you have a very strange interpretation of 'scare tactics' and a very selective memory. I stated a fact, not a law, it happened, I was there!

Well, if you were there, then what is it that happened Nonnie? Did the police enforce the contact order or not? I mean, they couldn’t have done, as they do not have the authority to do so. So how did they make the parent be “reasonable”? They are the police, not the Mafia!

Yes, I finally caught up!

I think we need to separate out what happens in different countries on this thread because it is confusing to each of us when we read about what happens elsewhere.

I also think we need to understand the awful situations some are/have been in while acknowledging that not all parents are badly motivated and not all cut off GPs have been removed from children's lives for good reason.

Imagine a couple from different cultures who split up. Would it be right that the parent who has the care of the child prevents the family from the other culture seeing the children because they come from a different culture? I don't think so, I think children should know their backgrounds wherever they come from.

If any EGP has been given hope from this thread, it will be because of OP's success. A GP has successfully been awarded contact with her GC.

The details don't have to be known, the success of the OP speaks for itself.

And thank goodness that EAC can't go to court because they decide they want access to their parents. That said in either case, who would want too!