Hope For Estranged Grandparents

How sweet of you to have researched that Starblaze, thank you.

No, just culture, I don't like Star wars much though

I liked the original first 3 films but got bored after that. Mr. S. does a brilliant impression of Yoda; just in case anyone's interested!!

Star Trek for me, the newest series is amazing

Just as well my name has nothing to do with Star Wars then!

Lol

Chewbacca -- "I no longer feel the need to spill my guts to a publicly accessible online confessional booth; seeking approbation and affirmation from random souls who are equally as damaged and haunted by a past." So at some point you did do that?

"But I appreciate that, for you, its still a necessary crutch to lean on until you can reach that part in your life where you no longer need to keep revising your past." So you are telling Me what I am thinking and feeling AND ascribing motivation(s) onto Me based on what you have done...

Where exactly have I "revised my past"? I do see others here revising their pasts but I can't find an example of where I have. Your comment seems like a lot of projection to Me...

Smileless -- My 'gas-lighting' of you is telling the truth/showing your inconsistencies... That's not gas-lighting.

Gas-lighting is when the truth/evidence is present (like the Earth being round) and a gas-lighter would say, "The world is flat." And when informed that the world is round-ish, a gas-lighter will then deny, attack and reverse the 'roles'.

It's like, "You are 'abusive' because you don't believe Me when I am telling You the Earth is flat! You're abusive because I believe the Earth is 'flat' and You are 'hurting' Me if you disagree/use evidence to prove otherwise! If I am 'hurt' then it must be because You abused Me!"

In that case, the 'Flat-Earther' would be offended that I didn't 'buy' their unfounded "word" and would dislike that I could provide evidence that contradicts their belief/statement of 'truth' that the Earth is flat.

So, when a 'Flat-Earther' says something else to Me, I will always think, "This person already has a misguided view/perception of the world. Unless I can verify from another reliable source that what they are saying is true, I must approach their 'fact'/truth with caution."

"You are not discrediting me, you are not succeeding in your attempts to intimidate me." Intimidate you into what? Telling the truth/being real/honest? If that's what I am 'doing' why would that be harmful/negative? My 'mom' taught Me, "The truth will set You free..."

"there are some who can respectfully disagree and do not need to resort to personal insults and character assassinations." -- How is it a "character assassination" to illuminate dysfunctional thinking when I see it?

Chewbacca is an EAC and I call out her dysfunctional posts as well. Unhealthy thought processes/dysfunction are present everywhere. I will never ignore 'it' when I see IT.

I'm not interested in your opinion of my personal estrangement HolyHannah. Any further posts you make in relation to it will be treated with the contempt they deserve and ignored.

Starblaze Fri 26-Jun-20 17:15:38 I don't think anyone is judging you, I think they have an opinion about you based on what you have posted.

You have an absolute right not to answer questions but it would help the debate if you did when asked a non-personal question about something you have posted.

"for occasionally needing support" this has confused me as I have seen lots of support on GN. I always thought that showing sympathy was support until, on this thread, I was told it was unwanted. I will have to question whether to do that again on any thread. It is very hard when someone misconstrues my posts.

Starblaze Fri 26-Jun-20 18:10:14 if you feel like that, why are you here? I would suggest that some of the posts are farcical but that others are constructive and informative.

Starblaze Fri 26-Jun-20 18:24:18 equally applies to us all

Starblaze Fri 26-Jun-20 18:42:44 childish and unhelpful.

HolyHannah Fri 26-Jun-20 19:28:12 I haven't seen that, please show me time and date. If you can't then I think you should withdraw it an apologise. There has been far too much casting aspersions on this thread and those who do so are demeaning themselves. I would be interested to know how you chose that name because I always thing about 'casting the first stone' is about holiness.

Starblaze Fri 26-Jun-20 19:47:50 please verify that claim? I don't recollect anyone doing that.

HolyHannah Sat 27-Jun-20 01:11:32 please fill me in on what I a missing about "others here revising their pasts". All this alluding to things without evidence seem to undermine your posts. Of course I may have forgotten something in such a long thread.

HolyHannah Sat 27-Jun-20 06:36:13 thanks for that. I have definitely been gas lighted on this thread then! All those time when I was told that what I said about the courts was not true and that I didn't know about family law. Even when I 'verified' it there was no apology so it must have been gas-lighting. They know who they are.

Smileless2012 Sat 27-Jun-20 09:34:18 I think you should continue to expose people who are talking utter twaddle. I always ask them to provide 'verification' of what they say but no one has yet and I'm not holding my breath.

As this thread progresses it become more and more obvious who has moved on, who reasonably debates, who throws personal insults, who has done their research before commenting, who is willing to learn, who has a closed mind and who twists what others say for their own agenda.

Nonnie Your kind of sympathy was dismissive and invalidating. I am no longer interested in debating what happened with you.

Nonnie -- "HolyHannah Fri 26-Jun-20 19:28:12 I haven't seen that, please show me time and date. If you can't then I think you should withdraw it an apologise."

Please show you a time and date for what?

Starblaze Sat 27-Jun-20 11:51:36 that says so much about you and nothing about me. I'm so sad that you decided to take it that way, I do feel sorry that you interpreted that and so many of my factual posts negatively.

However, I note that you are ceasing to debate with me and understand that must be you can't answer my questions about the things you have posted nor apologise for gas-lighting me. That's fine. Some people simply walk away when they can't substantiate their arguments.

HolyHannah Sat 27-Jun-20 13:24:12 Sorry I didn't realise you are new and don't know how this works. When someone posts your name and date and time you posted they are talking about what you said in that post. Therefore I am asking you about what you posted at Fri 26-Jun-20 19:28:12.

Nonnie if that is what you want to think I'm not going to try and convince you otherwise.

Starblaze Sat 27-Jun-20 16:57:07 that is exactly the response I expected. Don't suppose anyone else will be surprised either.

I am rather disappointed with the people who throw out accusations without being able to verify them because I would expect anyone old enough to be on Gransnet would have a mature attitude. I always think the best of people so I am bound to be disillusioned every now and again.

Nonnie Attacking just isn't the best defence

As for this subject, with no formal education I wouldn't expect you to know that judges and the relevant advisory panels are unlikely to send a parent to prison. It hasn't happened in this country anyway. Of course Nonnie, you have already said that you don't think that would be a good outcome and I assume the courts to be just as sensible.

with no formal education I wouldn't expect you to know

wtf?

None of us so far (except the quoted friend) have a formal education on this particular subject/process. My education only covers child development and outcomes.

Starblaze

None of us so far (except the quoted friend) have a formal education on this particular subject/process. My education only covers child development and outcomes.

You think/hope.

Your post to Nonnie @ 17.24 was out of order and she deserves your apology.

How many times ...this is not about whether courts are UNLIKELY to send a parent to prison!!!

It is about:

1. The fact that the law ALLOWS for someone to be sent to prison for breaking a contact order

2. The fact that there is no evidence of a case that anyone has found (I assume,) of that happening in practice.

Courts being sensible about what they are allowed to do because presumably they don't think it would be a good outcome for the child (just like the rest of us) does NOT cancel out the fact that the Law ALLOWS for them to do it if they choose to do so.

Here you are Madgran; a nice brick wall for you to bang your head on. Although, if you've not had a formal education, you might not know how to use it.

Is there anyone these days who hasn't had a formal education?