Is 'No Contact' abuse?

Smileless2012

I haven't seen evidence of it here either Pantglas .

I don't know how you can say that, genuinely, the message I sent you recently as an example

I haven't seen evidence of it here either Pantglas .

That’s what puzzled me violet sky - I haven’t seen evidence of it on this thread and wondered what it was about!

I don't really have any negative feelings about anyone here on a personal level

“…they can keep their personal feelings about another poster out of how they discuss a topic with them”

Your last post quote violet sky.

Pantglas2

And do you think you can VioletSky?

Can what?

There's nothing from the EP's on this thread that demonstrates why they've been estranged User.

A cruel and unnecessary thing to say but sadly not unexpected.

Not sure I understand your post User138562.

The way this thread demonstrates the very reasons for estrangement is interesting. It's like someone jumping off a roof and then laying on the ground with broken legs and yelling "see, I told you gravity is nonsense".

And do you think you can VioletSky?

An explanation is a statement or an account that makes something clear, so an EP for example who wants an explanation isn't necessarily wanting or expecting their EAC to defend themselves.

VS, you don't have to interact with any poster you find unnecessarily aggressive, who do you regard as necessarily aggressive?

Grams2five,
I dont think it unreasonable to give an explanation why you are estranging your parent, yes, I do feel that is the least that is owed to me.
It's basic decency.

Pantglas2

“unnecessarily aggressive“ that’s a loaded phrase VS! So who decides on the definition?

Generally the person making the comment decides, that often also depends whether they can keep their personal feelings about another poster out of how they discuss a topic with them

Caleo

I think that abuse , any sort of abuse including estranging can happen only when the abuser can abuse. When the victim is powerless for whatever reason they are open to abuse by another who can do it.

The victim of estrangement is obviously not wanted by the estranger. It is always unkind to hurt the feelings of another who is not as strong as yourself. In short, the estranger may be a bully.

If for some reason you have to estrange someone you should explain to them why you took the decision and give them every possible opportunity to defend themself.

Once one has made the decision to Estrange what on earth would be the point of opportunity to defend oneself? I’ve never met a person who impede to estrangement first off but as last resort. Once we decided to cut contact with my in-laws th ere was no longer any point to a discussion or to a “defense “. We were done. Moving on. No amount of discussion was going to change that. It comes back to the idea that you’re owed a relationship to start. Someone could choose not to have a relationship with you - even your own child - for literally no reason at all of the wanted and you wouldn’t be owed a thing

“unnecessarily aggressive“ that’s a loaded phrase VS! So who decides on the definition?

No one's being forced VS you can always choose to ignore.

Smileless2012

Oh I see. You give opposing views but if anyone's view opposes yours they're arguing; got it.

No, being unnecessarily aggressive is argumentative, or repeatedly forcing someone to engage with you by quoting/tagging you when you have told them you would quite happily go away if they didn't

Oh I see. You give opposing views but if anyone's view opposes yours they're arguing; got it.

Smileless2012

You also argue against others VS.

I give opposing views you mean, but I'll generally go away if you let me or I might answer someone else

You also argue against others VS.

Yes, generally in any discussion, if I'm not tagged or quoted directly to argue against me I am happy to let my thoughts stand and go do something else

If it’s a discussion, then various people will have different views.

As long as it’s calm, respectful, kind and accommodates other views, it’s fine.🙂

No one has all the right answers, we just give opinions.🙂

Allsorts

VS, please listen to Bridie, she posted for help and advice not criticism, others feelings are theirs not yours. You enjoy the knowledge that you and yours are all sorted, well done.

Allsorts this is a discussion thread, I stay away from the support thread because I feel that's a safe space for estranged parents but on any thread asking for advice and support, people will always have mine and if I sometimes feel they need to hear hard things I will always do my best to word that kindly

VS, please listen to Bridie, she posted for help and advice not criticism, others feelings are theirs not yours. You enjoy the knowledge that you and yours are all sorted, well done.