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Domestic Violence from kids to parents

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Lavazza1st Sun 11-Oct-20 15:55:35

I am copying and pasting a post I just found on our local Facebook page for police. This is what the man wrote:

"Why aren't we highlighting mother's of domestic abuse at the hands of their sons?.
These mothers of lads need support after failing to set boundaries early on got irretrievably out of hand as I imagine the mums end up victims of domestic abuse from little back chatting tyrants who hold the mum to ransom, so she gives in for an easy life, and he learns that being abusive gets him rewarded.
You should never reward bad behaviour.
It's like the kid that screams and screams til the parent gives in and gets them a packet of sweets.
I do believe we have parents who've given up after being ground down to nothing over time.
It's a thing that goes on under the radar."

I was really surprised this was written by a man and also really surprised that this is being openly discussed. I think it's a good thing to be open about it and remove the shame factor so people can get help. I hope it helps someone here , that's why I posted it.

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Lavazza1st Mon 19-Oct-20 20:34:18

@HolyHannah re your question "Is it your view/belief/perspective that a child who "refuses to engage with CAMHS" (or any other agency) are somehow to blame for their situation/continued abuse?"

No! That was not what I meant at all. I am not blaming them, but in the UK they don't always manage to work with children because the children do not want to engage and they do not force it on them or that would cause more trauma. That is what I meant. Hope this clears up any misunderstanding.

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Lavazza1st Mon 19-Oct-20 20:55:39

Wow. This post has stirred up so much bad feeling )so sorry!) and probably triggered so many people. I was feeling like I never should have posted it- and then I saw your comment @DaisySweetDream and it's made it worth it. I am happy to take any flak if it helps one person to find help. Please, please, please phone a helpline. There are women's charities like Refuge that can give you specialised help and support.

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welbeck Tue 20-Oct-20 02:41:01

i am concerned that Daisy seemed to suggest that she had not been helped by the police in the past.
that may put her off trying to reach out to get help.
i hope she will try. there are others she can approach.
also if she is being actually being threatened or assaulted she can ring 999 from a mobile and then press 55, to indicate that she cannot talk.
help will be sent.
i hope she can come back on here to let us know how she is.
good luck daisy.
there is more information in this link,
www.itv.com/thismorning/articles/domestic-violence-helplines

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