SUPPORT for all living with estrangement

Smiles you are probably right and my son doesn't know. My husband always made sure he told the children he loved and was proud of them and spend all the time he could with them. His father never told him he loved or was proud of him. His mother only told him she loved him on the day he died but he was unconscious. She wanted to stay while he died but I wouldn't let her. He died at home in our bed with me and the children just as he wanted it.

I was so happy when he met my daughter in law as after a year he was happy again. Little did I know it would end like this .

Perhaps one day he will realise what a fool he has been but I wonder if by then will I care. As any trust I had in him is destroyed and will never forgive him for the hurt he has caused. Not just to me but to all our side of the family. He doesn't just want me but them also. What a hold my daughter in law has over him. But he has a mind of his own he knows right from wrong and fact from fiction. I have 3 grandson's with them. I can not fault them as parents as my grandson's are loved and cherished. They have been brought up to be polite ,loving and a credit to them. Its as son and daughter in law they have failed.

I've always viewed our ES in the same way Whiff; "he has a mind of his own he knows right from wrong and fact from fiction".

We can only hope that our ES and his wife are better parents than they are a son and daughter.

That should be daughter in law. Thank goodness she isn't our daughter!!

SmilelessWhat I don’t understand is the severity of the punishment. Even if there was a misunderstanding of you hanging up while your DIL was still talking, is that a reason to estrange? These EC are fools. I would be so mad if I learned that I had living grandparents and my parents kept them from me. This week is six years estranged with my stepson and his boys. I am STILL in shock over it. Will the shock ever go away? Or the anger?

Looking back, I think she was laying the foundations for her ultimate aim which was to get rid of us Rhinsetone.

She bitterly resented the closeness of our relationship with our ES, especially mine.

I'd be mad too, furious actually but they know we're alive because of their uncle, our DS. I do believe that if it weren't for the fact he lives in Aus. he'd have been totally cut out too.

They keep in touch but haven't actually seen one another for 3.5 years. As long as he's on the other side of the world, she doesn't regard him as a 'threat'.

Will the shock and anger ever go away? Well it's been more than 8 years for us now and there are still times when I just can't believe this has happened. Those are the times I still cry, and say over and over again "how could you do this to us?"

The anger is as strong as it ever was. It's not there all the time but when it does come to the surface the strength of it surprises me.

Smiles I think my daughter in law was doing the same thing. Perhaps I'm a fool I expect people to treat me the way I treat them. Naive I know.

What's the old saying shame me once shame on me , shame me twice shame on you. Seems adapt .

Whiff we're not fools; perhaps a little naive and definitely too trusting.

My gran used to say if any of us were hurt and upset because of what someone had done or said, the trouble is not everyone treats us the way we treat them; she was right.

Our DS says I have two problems; the first is I wear my heart on my sleeve and the second is that I don't have to tell anyone what I'm thinking because 'it's written all over my face'.

That's why I don't tell lies people can tell if I try. My husband and kids favourite game was let's see if mom can tell a lie. They thought it was hysterical me trying to do it. ??

I know if DS is telling fibs because his nostrils go in and out. Once when I caught him out, he was about 7 at the time, he said I must be a witch.

I explained what happened to his nostrils so the next time he put his had over his nose which of course we even more obvious.

He'll be 38 next month and now all I have to say is "your nostrils are moving". I can always tell, even when we're on Face Time.

Smiles that made me laugh and I need that today got another kidney infection.

Oh no, poor you that's painful isn't it Whiff. Hope you feel better soon.

I expect people to treat me the way I treat them

Sadly many of us have to live and learn Whiff!

Madgran77 lesson learnt . My son and daughter in law have taught me that. But will never let them hurt me again.

@Whiff - so sorry to hear about your infection and wishing you a speedy recovery. Thank you so much for your kind and supportive messages.

I am having a bit of a down day today, so will not spread the gloom, but wishing everyone a good weekend. X

Hope these cheer you up a little PF xx

PetitFromage glad they helped. You are entitled to have a down day. Don't be hard on yourself. Just take one day at a time. After being in a couple for any length of time. It's hard to adjust to being by yourself. It's hard having to make all the decisions. I totally understand . Even after 17 years it's not easy to decide on everything. Just take everything in your stride there is no need to rush. Took me years to realise that. If my experience can help you . Just drop me a PM if you want.

Smiles and Petit thank for your wishes. It's not as bad as last time. Just taking it easy. ? Only emoji I could find for taking it easy. Didn't have sitting on the sofa with my feet up. ??to you both.

Thank you!!!! xxx

Petit Fromage the "roller coaster" of up and down days is hard. Take care

Have not posted here for a while, just so much happening in my life that sheer exhaustion from all my negativity around me was holding me back from even trying to see the wood from the trees. Roller coaster days have got me beat and it's not like me to hold my hands up in defeat.
Take care All.

There's no shame in holding up your hands in defeat 3nanny but so sorry that you're feeling this way so sending you and a BIG (((hug))).

We're all here for you x

Smiles many thanks for the flowers and the Big Hug. This life
just seems to be able to keep giving low hitting belly punches.

For me life is like a re-run of watching that Jaws movie and the saying that goes with it " just when you think it is safe to go back in the water"
For me it is "Just as I think I might have something to feel some happiness about I must not blink because it is taken away from me once again" and sometimes I get to wondering why I even bother to let myself believe life will be kind as often it is not.

I will not make a long story but as you know my son and his partner are expecting a baby, I am not overly involved with her thank goodness and they have been arguing and quarrelling for a couple of months. Last weekend when my son was out his partner got her brothers to load their van with all his belongings and they dumped them in the residents car park where I live at 8 0,clock in the evening when it had started to snow. My living room is at the back of the house so she done this unseen by me. She then phoned my son to tell him what she had done.
Needless to say this has caused trouble and yet by Wednesday she was telling him she wants him back, so he has been pandering to her every whim. At the moment I have his belongings in my home and after nearly a week I want rid of them.
I know he has to keep on her good side because she is having his child but in my heart of hearts my defenses have gone up and this is not looking good for what I have been
hoping for with a new G.C on the way.

I think I'm estranged as my family seem to be ignoring me.

Not a result I would have chosen, but as a result of asking how and why my signature appeared on a legal document that I didn't sign. I am still waiting for an answer. It might be a long wait. Eternally, perhaps.

3nanny6 So sorry for what you are dealing with

onwardand upward I saw your concerns re a legal document on another thread. You have done the right thing in relation to that..

Thanks for saying so @Madgran I know I have, but I feel there is a price to pay for doing so. Waiting for the other shoe to drop