Therapists who say parents are always to blame.

Find some therapists who are more open-minded and work from a position of neutrality.

This is right @agedp1953 - I agree, although there may be some things that are right with Dr Phil, I feel like this is some sort of formula that parents should step up and do, like this & this... no room to make mistakes, good god we are not robots!

I feel like we all make mistakes as people, as adults, and as parents, this is part and parcel of life, what is important is to learn with others if possible, through those mistakes, own them and be the best parent we can be.
This does not imply perfection, or that we should beat ourselves up for the mistakes we have made. Looking through the internet for support is not unreasonable, self righteousness is a word that certainly springs to mind to suggest that this is not taking responsibility for past mistakes.

And yes, mothers are given a hard time, the more recent misuse of the word 'narcissist' in the media and on every other site is really annoying. This is a medical diagnosis in its pure form, and saying the wrong thing or being a bit selfish on one or two occasions does not make someone a narcissist.

I find it a bit odd that young people are taking the route of removing people from their lives without even talking to them on some occasions, yes you have a right, yes you can do this, but please look at yourselves too, don't remove people from your life permanently without giving them a choice or chance to explain, don't expect mothers or fathers to do all of the work.

I also agree with someone who said that having an absent father also plays a role with how people see and experience relationships as adults.

'consequence of mismatched expectations.'
I only know one estranged parent/ daughter relationship, but that describes the situation perfectly.

I agree about the mismatched expectations eazybee I think its quite sad that people can look back at their lives with their parents and find so much wrong. We all had to learn how to be parents as we went along, excluding abusive situations we all did the best we could. We made mistakes, we took decisions which retrospectively could have been better but for most of us we loved our children and tried to give them a good life as did our parents. I feel really quite angry when I read on here how some parents are treated by their adult children.

We do all make mistakes as you say Nana. Our parents made them, we made them and without a doubt out EAC will make them too with their own children. They can only hope that having set the example, when their children grow up, they don't estrange them.

I agree eazybee that it is at times because of mismatched expectations and sometimes those expectations are unrealistic either from the AC or the parent(s), but cutting parents out of your life for ever, because they 'failed' to live up to your expectations is just cruel and brutal IMO.

"I feel really quite angry when I read on here how some parents are treated by their adult children" I do too sodapop especially when posters are saying they're putting up with it for fear of being estranged.