Hels, I am very sorry other this and totally empathise, as my DD1 got married and had a baby without telling us until DGD1 was 14 months old. In her case, it was a Registry Office affair, not even a ceremony, just signing the papers, but they went round to the in laws' house afterwards (who live much closer to them).
We are now reconciled, but the feelings of hurt still run very deep. When we visited, just before lockdown, there was a picture on display of DD1 with her MIL on the day of the marriage, smiling happily together. It cut like a knife. Having said that, her in laws are very nice people, who have been supportive to DD1 and SIL.
Just as we had become reconciled, my DH, DD1's father, was diagnosed with terminal cancer and died 9 months later. I have to say that she was very good at visiting and taking the DGDs to visit him and also read at his funeral. She behaves as though nothing has happened. I did get angry with her and said that she had deprived DH of the joy of attending her wedding and the first 18 months of DGD1's life. She said that didn't I think that she wanted him there and that she was very young at the time. I know that it was because of SIL, but it's a long story.
Anyway, DD is the opposite now, back to how she used to be, messages and texts every day, FaceTime calls, care and concern, even a thoughtful Christmas gift and a large slab of her (excellent) home made cake. It is still going to take a long time for me to feel the same as I did though. But what I wanted to say is that people do change and if you had a good relationship with your DD before, I am sure that you will again, but it may take a long time to rebuild.
I think that when our DC are young they think that there is all the time the world, but sometimes there isn't. DD1 missed so many family occasions during the estrangement, which lasted two years, which I assume that she now regrets. None of us can change the past, we just have to make the best of things. I wish you well and you will find a lot of support here on GN.
July 23 Limerick (continuation of July 21)
apple trees not flowering this year. Anyone else?