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Should he come to the funeral?

(31 Posts)
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Mealybug Wed 30-Dec-20 11:02:23

My H has had two brain tumours and now has Lewy Body Dementia, he is bedridden and on an end of life care plan. After the second tumour in 2008 his younger brother never visited the hospital, called or asked how he was (he was given a 50/50 chance due to the first tumour). I find myself harbouring a grudge and haven't spoken to or even seen sight nor sound of him and his wife since, not for my benefit but for hubby's, they used to be close. I feel he would be a hypocrite attending the funeral when the time comes, but is it up to me to say no? I just don't want him there.

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Luckygirl Sat 23-Jan-21 10:06:32

I am so sorry you are going through all this and your poor OH is so unwell.

As to the funeral - just don't invite his brother or tell him about it. It is amazing how some family simply do not step up at all when someone is so ill.

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Hilltop Sat 30-Jan-21 23:56:29

I am just arranging things after my husbands death. I have a member of my family who is estranged. I am arranging a direct cremation through Pure Cremation which is proving to be very efficient. I have found that nurses and doctors are not very aware of this, but my husband and l decided on this a few years ago. There is an advert for the firm often on afternoon tv.

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NotSpaghetti Sun 31-Jan-21 00:09:39

I could not cut his brother out to be honest. Funerals can be healing.

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mumofmadboys Sun 31-Jan-21 07:45:08

It is so sad your BIL has not kept in touch with his brother but please be gracious and invite him to the funeral. Wishing you strength to face the time ahead x

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Esspee Sun 31-Jan-21 08:08:40

It is for you to decide based on what you feel your husband would have wanted.
In the meantime please take care of yourself. I know finding things to worry about is common when feeling overwhelmed.

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