Hi, I am 36 years old Eastern European married with Cuban/British woman and expecting a child together and we are very happy together, we have been together for 6 years now. I do live in UK for 6 years and almost 18 years abroad working and travelling in different countries. As of my family are coming from very different cultural and rather conservative background in Eastern Europe and that is why i am mentioning the fact that i am dating someone from a different background and not an Eastern European which has caused already prejudice, judgment and disappointment in the environment and family i am coming from. However my parents have accepted that I do not want to abide by their social norms and have accepted my partner which i am very grateful.
Now in regards of my Mother and Father they have separation between themselves many times when we were kids me and my sister and at one point they were even divorced and then they remarried all the time nasty fights and sometimes domestic abuse, my dad treated us as dictator and i was scared to even walk, talk or eat sometimes as a kid.. All the time me and my sister were involved in their separation and were used in their fights and estrangements from each other taking back and forth from one to another house this has started ever since i have my first memory and we have been estranged from my mother when i was 12 and lived without her for 6 months banned from talking to her and being thought by my father and his family that i need to hate her in which i did at the time then it was opposite once they got together now my mother taught us how bad my father is etc and in general the level of mental abuse and abandonment we have gone through is big ( they have separated over 10 times until i was 18 )as until this days i have problem trusting people and distinguishing right from wrong. Nevertheless me and my sister are now adults but in a mental mess extremely insecure and not being able to trust anyone.
Now the real problem is that my parents have come to visit me recently in UK for a first time and everything was just great apart from small argument with my sister at the end of their visit. Because of that argument my mother and father stopped eating for 2 days and just resenting me and my mother crying 2 days in a roll. Beofre they leave on the day of their departure i confronted them and said this is not right and we should not fight and make most of it as they are leaving and i do not know when we will see each other again both of them got upset even more and shouting and acting erratically and i told them this " Mum and Dad i grew up in bad environment and i do not want this for my wife and kid i do not want this in my family and in front of my pregnant wife please stop or otherwise i will not be willing to see you in future as this needs to stop once for all and we need to learn how to argue as normal people" and my father accused me that he is not welcomed and he is going to leave and will go at my sisters flat as i am not a good son( she lives in UK to )... Just to clarify i have not had ask them to leave or neither i wanted them to do so but they were threatening me in which my unfortunate mental instability i blacked out and pull a knife and i have tried to stab myself and wanted to harm myself, now looking into it i thing i just wanted my parents attention and understanding that i do not want them out at all i just want the fighting to stop once for all and the mental abuse.. They have already aware of my frail mental state and told them i really do want to end my life and i have shared that many times in the past and that i am trying to find a reason to live and move on, long story short they have managed to stop me from hurting myself and after 30 minutes they said that my action to hurt myself made them believe that they are no longer welcome said goodbye and cut me off from the family.. I begged them to stay and not do that as i was abandoned from each one of them all my life and i am alone in foreign country and they already know my Mental State and i do apologise for trying to harm myself.. Regardless they packed their things and walked out, on the way out my mother accused me of being brainwashed by my wife and that she didn't raise me properly.. My wife has never said or don anything bad to them as she does not speak our language and they do not speak English and never before i heard any disagreement between them. I begged them not to leave and stay and said this will break this up as a family again.. And yet they left leaving me devastated and my sister cut me off as well as she lives in UK ( By the way i settled her down financially and finding her job in UK but she is saying i did that for my interest) There is a lot more to the story and i feel and i know i made a mistakes but my parents left me knowing everything and ever since i try to find a reason to live and thinking of my coming baby but this has brought all the issues from the past and i cannot understand why my parents will be so cold. No attempts has been made by them to contact me by them and they are convinced that i am the worst son in the world and my wife is horrible?? The amount of emptiness and void is unbearable and i am not sure how to learn to live again without my family which doesn't want nothing with anylonger. I know they are good people with a lot issues as i am as well... But i cannot get over the fact that my family has decided to leave in such a manner and cut me of fully.
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