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Estrangement

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Kaboom6686 Fri 20-Aug-21 03:59:21

Kaboom6686

I have been reading. It’s so comforting to know I’m not alone. I have been estranged from my mother on and off my adult life. This last time has been going on 3 years. Each year at my birthday I get a card with a long written letter inside. At times she has sent this card with return receipt requested. Boy did that upset me. But the content of the card was worse. I have a stack of cards which she tells me what a disappointment of a daughter I am. So last year I never opened the card. The last time I spoke with her she asked me if I received my birthday card. I simply said yes. She asked if I read it. I said no. I told her I didn’t need to read how disappointed she was in me. I’m not even sure where last years card is. So I received a card this year. No call, no text no emails from the rest of the family. My youngest brother moved to AZ. I have no phone number or address for him. I heard about it from my daughter who heard from my oldest brother.

Anyway, what do I do with the unopened card I received from a mother I don’t really have a relationship with.

Thank for reading

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Smileless2012 Sat 21-Aug-21 13:17:20

I would say that your mother having a hoarding problem may be an indication of some mental health issues Kaboom.

Your sadness and heart ache are so evident in your posts but I hope that you'll be able to put yourself first and protect your own emotional well being.

As DiscoDancer has posted "she may be broken.....but you can't fix her". I'm so sorry, this is a very sad situationflowers.

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HolySox Sat 21-Aug-21 15:27:37

She is praying for you ... so are there 'religious' bonds?
The apostle Paul said 'children obey their parents.' You are not a child but an adult. So what about 'Honour your Father and Mother.' This gave me guilt until I realised it was more about the way I live my life being honouring to my parents. I hope you have learnt how NOT to parent from your mum and have a better relationship with your daughter. That would be honouring to your parents.

You have an older brother. If he can cope with your mum leave it to him to deal with her. You clearly need space.

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Caleo Sat 21-Aug-21 16:56:50

I have in effect advised you to rise above it so to speak and treat your mother as if she were not a relation but some demented old lady. I know this is not easy advice to take and maybe you cannot treat the old lady as if she were simply a professional client or a patient. In which case you should take care of yourself first.

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