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Have had to have contact with my mother

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freedomfromthepast Wed 29-Sep-21 00:32:26

I have had to be in contact with my mother recently. Long story but I am the one person in the family who cares for my grandmother, though my father is the POA. Unfortunately, my father does nothing, so any time I need to discuss my grandmother's care, I have to talk to her. I am actually shocked by how unsettling it has been for me. I know who she is and what to expect too.

Every word I speak, I know will be used against me in the future, even though she has no power over me. She already tried to start drama a few weeks ago. My uncle (another do nothing son) was in town and they all met up for lunch. In the middle of a restaurant, she had a meltdown because he mentioned my name. In public. I wasn't even there, it was literally just the mention of my name.

I know this is temporary, but fighting with her for the best interest of my grandmother means I have to be in contact with her. I will be glad when my grandmother is moved into assisted living and all her belongings are taken care of so I will no longer be accused of stealing money, jewelry or anything else.

I don't need advice, I am just hoping that putting it out in the universe will let my brain go of it some and remind myself that it is temporary and in the best interest of my grandmother.

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Smileless2012 Fri 01-Oct-21 17:47:18

Our ES's wife as well freedomfromthepast.

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VioletSky Fri 01-Oct-21 18:02:12

freedomfromthepast it's so sad that they can't ever experience what it is to do something out of love and care instead of appearance and point scoring.

Looking for reasons and justifications to drag us down instead of building us up.

That can't ever mean a happy life if the only joy you have has to be obtained that way.

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freedomfromthepast Fri 01-Oct-21 23:10:37

Well, what I knew was going to happen has happened. My mother has imploded because she thinks I am "stealing".

Rich coming from the person who embezzled money from a previous employer.

It's all good, I knew this was coming and I have 0 (insert bad word here) left to give. I am going to call her out and stop the triangulation happening right now. She will act like a sullen child and play the victim and pout.

Good news for me though, after I call her out she wont want to talk to me. Win!

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VioletSky Sat 02-Oct-21 16:52:16

PMed you freedomfromthepast hope you are OK

Sorry you are stuck in this situation with abusive people trying to control the narrative

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Smileless2012 Sat 02-Oct-21 16:55:08

Good for you freedomfromthepast much better to "call her out" then stew about it. At least if she stops talking to you, you'll get some peacesmile.

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freedomfromthepast Tue 12-Oct-21 02:23:45

I am pleased to announce that my grandmother is safely placed in her care center. Not without a TON of drama caused by my mother though.

After we got through the fact that she accused me of stealing, she decided to have a fit and stop doing any work she was supposed to be doing to help. I have spent the last 5 days doing nothing else but getting Grandma settled because of it.

We now have nothing more to do until mid-November when she gets moved again into a bigger room. I will have a few weeks of peace and a vacation next week IF we can get a plane. Here in the US, Southwest Airlines is having issues do to, who knows what the truth is. Hopefully they figure it out before Sunday.

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VioletSky Tue 12-Oct-21 07:59:35

Good going freedomfromthepast, that sort of thing is hard enough without her actively trying to sabotage you

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Smileless2012 Tue 12-Oct-21 09:38:55

That's great news freedomfromthepast and must be a huge relief in terms of your GM's welfare and not having to deal with your mum.

Fingers crossed that you get your vacation next week, you've certainly earned it.

Have fun.

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glammanana Tue 12-Oct-21 10:27:25

Such a relief for you Freedom I do hope you can get your holiday sorted and have a few weeks respite from the so called family,I hope your GM is settled and hopefully unaware of the discontent within her family.Best wishes flowers

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