Have had to have contact with my mother

I agree with others freedomfromthepast you are doing everything you can for your grandmother and that is the important thing. Avoid contact as much as you can with the other family members as Grandmabatty said and continue helping. You are doing the right thing, I wish you well.

I have read your post and I wish you well. Look after yourself.

Keep in mind that you are taking care of your grandmother freedomfromthepast.

Picture yourself as a beautiful swan, serene and calm on the surface with all the work and stress happening under the water that your mum can't see. Only let her see what is above the water and not what's going on below; the turmoil you feel inside.

Picture any outbursts like rain, making you wet but washing over you and unable to penetrate.

Now you've started this thread, you have a place to come and off load any of the negativity that contact with your mum leaves you with. .

Who told you that your mother had a meltdown at hearing your name? That's not helpful to you. I would stop instantly anyone who tries this in the future and tell them you don't want to hear. Does your mother use email? You could set up an email account just for her and ask someone to check it to avoid unpleasant messages. Similarly with your phone. Don't reply to anything except concerning your grandmother. Mumsnet calls it grey rock. Good luck.

Thank you teacheranne.

I feel so blessed to have such a close relationship with my grandmother. It is especially important because I do not have a relationship with my mother any longer.

I do know that everyone else cares about the money, but no one else has the relationship that I do with her and that is priceless.

Also, to other posters, I don't want anyone to think I dropped this and ran. I am in the US so I will be sleeping (hopefully) and you will all have been up for hours. LOL

You just keep reminding yourself about why you are having to make contact, you are a good person to look after your grandmother despite the difficulties. In time, your life will move on, your grandmother will be settled in new accommodation and you can begin to heal.

Look after yourself

Thank you crazyH.

I have no advice for you, but just wanted to show, I have read your post and feel for you. Your last 3 lines make perfect sense. Good luck !