When is it time to move on to new friendships?

It always seems in threads about friendship that some people have no trouble attracting and keeping friends, some feel they do all the work with no return in kind and some have few friends. I think English people (maybe not Welsh or Scottish) have always been reticent and so making new friends, real friends, is difficult. Lockdown has changed such a lot and many people have got used to their own company or can't go out for health reasons because they must still self isolate.

I've always been one who has put a lot of effort into friendships without much reward and I've got tired of bothering now. I've noticed as someone else said, that friendships are often based on a hobby or activity and when you can't do that anymore, the friendship drifts.

I agree that some people are users. I still grit my teeth about one friend who moved from London and I listened to interminable stories about the horrors of her move. Once she moved, a mere 20 miles away, she stopped communicating and now she spends her time on Facebook flaunting her wonderful new life based on London money and she's always too busy to meet.

I am also now gunning for the local WI! I was a member where I lived before and it was very friendly and inclusive. The small meeting where I am now are the most cliquey, small minded, unfriendly bunch you could hope to meet!

So, like others, I have some old school friends worth keeping in touch with, some activity related friends and some people who I like and who may be friends but I'm not going to be the one putting the effort in.

For most of my life, I've believed in and wanted to build community, but now I think it doesn't exist in most places. I think lockdown was a moment when a lot of people retreated into their families and didn't necessarily want to get involved with others. It's good to learn to become sufficient I think and then people don't see you as a potential burden.

Sadly this Pandemic has changed many of us. Sometimes I wonder if people are reluctant to get in touch as they don't want to be asked to meet up or go out. This whole situation has definitely changed me and not for the better. I know people who really don't want to go out now anywhere. It's very difficult.

Some friendships are for a season and some are for a lifetime. It is a wise person who accepts the diffetence.

I have 3 (separate) best friends they vaguely know of each other but we re not a group They are all dear to me, I hope I am to them
I have quite a lot of peripheral friends who are in different aspects of my life and then there are others who have come and gone
One, years ago, was very very close for a number of years but she let me down and the friendship fizzled away I sometimes think of her and wonder how she is, we shared so much it’s been many years and she long ago moved away I wonder if she ever thinks of me

I have 3 (separate) best friends they vaguely know of each other but we re not a group They are all dear to me, I hope I am to them
I have quite a lot of peripheral friends who are in different aspects of my life and then there are others who have come and gone
One, years ago, was very very close for a number of years but she let me down and the friendship fizzled away I sometimes think of her and wonder how she is, we shared so much it’s been many years and she long ago moved away I wonder if she ever thinks of me

I'm no longer a meal ticket to people who don't really like me... Covid changed a lot. It showed who people really are.

I still think the best thing (for me) is to be friendly to everyone and to stay well distanced and observe people's values before getting any closer. I don't have best friends and no close friends, but loads of acquaintances and friends who are not close, if that makes sense.

Today I got talking to someone who told me a secret about one of their kids. I've known her a long time, just to say hello and make small talk with in the street. I have many of those sort of friends. I actually feel safer in that sort of friendship, having trusted backstabbers and users before.

OnwardandUpward. Your post did make me laugh! The idea that the would-be friend was only after your cooking!
If that was a universal requirement of friendship, I'd be a lonely soul!
Tea, coffee and toast/biscuits are my culinary specialities.

If you no longer want to see someone you know, don't.

Close friendship is when although you haven't seem that person for sometime you can pick up the friendship easily without any awkwardness.
We are all different as are our friends and acquaintances to yours.
We do meet people over the years, some stay as long term friendships others fall by the way.
We have friends in early years then move on to friends met through our children and then friends from groups we belong to in retirement.
I still have friends from when I worked, hubby as one from his teen years who we are very close too.
Neighbours from years ago who we still are in contact with.
I met a new friend 17 years ago we are very close and go away together once a year.
I tend to have friends who have the same interests as me, I certainly don't have any users.

I think Lockdown has soured a few relationships because people realised they didn't miss others

On here I appear to be the only person who made more friends in lockdown.
During that time me and my best friend who lives next door but one decided that we would arrange regular street meetings in our small close.
Through that I became real friends with 2 neighbours that previously it was only a good morning, lovely day sort of conversation.

Looking for new friends is always a good idea. I think that as for friends, the more, the better! Having said that, many has mentioned the effects of pandemic on pur lives and that's a fact. On the other hand, some friendships end with no apparent reasons: one just feel that things have changed and it's time to move on. I had a beautiful friendships with a girl a few years Junior. Out of the blue, she had stopped showing up. I have later learned that she can keep only one friendship at a time, then after a while she switches to another one. Just Like with a partner. This to tell you that, in my opinion, People give different meaning to friendships. I am pretty sure that you did no harm, it is just how this persone handles friends. Sad, I understand you are Hurt, but you seem a nice person, so I am sure you will find more People Willing to meet you. All the best!