let us know what they say Whiff.
You are a Warrior Queen Allsorts. You courageously share your pain and experiences here. You give your support to others. You know how to lift the spirits of others, which you did last week with your lovely emails, just when it is needed.
You can't be positive all the time, none of us can and part of being a Warrior Queen is being able to say when you're not.
Well there's a chapter for our book Granniesunite 'What makes a Warrior Queen'.
Gransnet forums
Estrangement
Well I have a title for our book, bet you can all guess what it is .... 'The Warrior Queens' 
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It's been a miserable day here, couldn't see the sea from our kitchen window until lunchtime when the mist eventually cleared.
I love to hear the sound of the lighthouse, rather haunting and very atmospheric. Reminds me of that film 'The Fog' when the ghosts of drowned fishermen make their way to shore.
I love a good ghost story, providing of course they remain stories that is.
Welcome back/home Smileless you've been missed 
Thanks Iam, "welcome home" what a lovely thing to say
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oops just seen your post Granniesunite, thank you. 
so we have a title for a book. This could be a good group project.
Thanks Allsorts. Those bloody 'what iffs' enough to drive you crazy if you let them.
Oooh you're brave DSL no scales for me until after the New Year. Still too many chocs and other good things to eat.
Thank you Bridie.
Oh dear, don't think I could afford double rates Whiff, a good enough reason to ensure it doesn't happen again x.
Good morning dear friends, it's good to be back. Make yourselves a 
and find a comfy chair as this is going to be a long post which I make no apologies for as a week is a long time to be away from such good friends.
Many thanks for the lovely messages and chatty emails over Christmas, and a huge 'thank you' to Whiff for her secretarial duties, which she has assured me will be charged at the minimum hourly rate; phew.
I've been keeping up to date with our thread and see we have some new Warrior Queens. So, a very warm if rather belated welcome to*Hilltop*, Hymnbook and NurseKate.
I see my fellow Warrior Queens have extended the hand of friendship and support to you. You are among friends here, friends who understand the pain and trauma of being estranged.
It is with mixed emotions that we welcome you. Always upsetting to know of yet more who are experiencing the pain and trauma of estrangement, but good to know that this thread has given you somewhere to share with those who truly understand what you are going through.
I see NurseKate that you are being subjected to one of the nastiest estrangement games; "in and out". What better way to confuse, undermine and hurt your victim than having them continually off balance, never knowing from one day to the next where they stand.
Scapegoating, gas lighting and narcissist do seem to be the buzz words for our EAC, conveniently avoiding projection when ironically they are the ones exhibiting some, if not all of the behaviours they accuse us of.
I'm sorry that you didn't get a response for the gifts and cards you sent Spring. Even when one isn't expected, it is still hoped for. Such a hard decision to make, to send or not to send. For me, it's about you. If doing so and not getting a response is just too painful, then do think about stopping.
That is so true Allsorts, if our EAC don't love or respect us then what is the point. Mr. S. and I both had our pre Christmas cry and talked about what has been done and said. I ended up thinking how absurd it is to love and miss someone so much who has treated us so badly.
As you posted Yogin when we are first estranged and in the aftermath, our brains don't work properly as we reel from the shock of the unthinkable happening.
9 years in and I still have days when I'm convinced my brain isn't working properly.
Nanalouise your anger is both justified and understandable. You and your DH have a huge weight on your shoulders as he gets ready for his chemotherapy and radiotherapy.
This is the time for you to focus all of your love and attention in supporting him, and this is the time for him to focus on his recovery .
Namsnanny it's good to know that you read the posts here. I'm so sorry that this is so painful that you are unable to talk about it. Do keep popping on when you are able so we know that you're OK.
There's something empowering about reaching the stage where "enough is enough" Scotty. For me, that was the time for letting go and allowing the healing to begin.
That also goes for the endless cycle of jumping through hoops Socksandsocks. Those hoops get higher and smaller with every step so negotiating them successfully becomes an impossibility.
Oh PF what a terrible thing to have happened, I am so sorry.
30 hours of sleep
Your body clearly shut down to give you time to recover from this set back, and shows how stressful and potentially harmful this is to your physical and emotional well being.
You did well DSL, getting through Christmas day despite your d.i.l. leaving her manners at home. Lulling you into a false sense of security is another strategy in this cruel game they love to play.
That said, you have the upper hand now. All of the reading and research you have done in the past few months has, and will continue to serve you well.
We had an enjoyable if quiet Christmas. A meal out on Christmas Eve followed by midnight mass.
A relaxing Christmas day although I must say, cooking a Christmas dinner for 2 is just as much work as cooking for a house full. The only difference it seems to me is the amount you cook.
The dogs loved their pressies and our girls called round in the morning to exchange gifts and toast the day, before they went round to one their mum's.
A few more tears from me on Christmas Eve, but not tears of sorrow. This was our 43rd Christmas and don't ask me how he managed it, but dear Mr. S. gave me the loveliest card he's ever given and that took some doing.
Well, apologies if I've missed anyone or anything out. I'll be servicing my chariot, brushing up my fake fur cloak, sharpening my spear and polishing up my Warrior Queen crown in readiness for 2022.
Not sure how you knew about those Whiff.
None of us know that the new year will bring but we all know for sure, and what we can all count on is the continued care, support and friendship that this thread offers.
OK that's it. Now stop sitting around drinking [tea] and get on with whatever it is you're supposed to be doing.
Love to you all x
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