very depressed

2 hours a week seems reasonable to me.
The thing is, it's right that your son spends time now with his wife and children, that's the way of things.

I'm afraid you can't use your depression as leverage.
All you can do is carry on with the counselling, and stay in touch with your doctor if it isn't working.

I am sorry you are struggling.
But 2 hours is generous if they have other demands for their time.
The children and your son are not responsible for relieving your depression so I would try to separate the two.

Hello ghoagland I agree with MissAdventure 2 hours a week seems reasonable. It is quite normal for young parents who are working to want to spend time together with their children without grandparents being ever present. Gone are the days when we saw our grandmothers all the time and every weekend. Life has moved on and people's lives are busy. Perhaps there are other grandparents and family members of your DIL who want to share in the children's lives too. Sorry that you are suffering from depression but hope that it is not directly related to your relationship with your son, DIL and grandchildren.

Sorry that you are so depressed. I hope your medication soon kicks in and helps you realise what a blessing that you have Grandchildren who you see so regularly. As you get better, I'm sure you will be able to see even more of them but for now enjoy the time you have with them. Some of us are not lucky enough to even have a Grandchild so do try to count those blessings.

That's an awful lot more than I get.

offer to some some charity work to fill your time I volenteer in a bookshop only a few hours a week and it helps me see another side of life after getting made redundant
Mixing with others will help you more than pills and when the sun shines even in winter i make sure i sit in the window and grab the free rays and Vitamin D it gives you
Get well soon xxx

I'm sorry you're depressed ghoagland. You don't say how long you've been on anti depressant medication or how long you've been having counselling. It does takes time to feel any real benefits so try to be patient.

Were you depressed before this arrangement for you seeing your GC was arranged, or did it begin after ward?

Times have changed, both parents in the majority of cases working so that what little 'family' time there is is precious. 2 hours a week is not at all unreasonable, and for many GP's would seem quite generous.

Try to make the most of the time you do get to see them and if you're feeling no better, see your GP again about your medication, and talk this over with your counsellor too.

I'm sorry you are struggling but 3 hours a week seems fair, young families are busy.

Yiur children and grandchildren aren't responsible for your happiness, you are, you need to find some interests to fill the time and seek help from your GP.

Is there anything you can do to make the relationship with your son and daughter in law better? I think that would help the most.

Two hours a week? Sounds like heaven to me. I see mine about three times a year. They live at the other end of the country. They were due to visit a couple of weeks ago, but my granddaughter went down with Covid on the day they were coming, so it didn’t happen.

I know, though, that depression doesn’t behave reasonably. I am feeling very low myself for no good reason, so I sympathise.

How often did you see them before?

You are very yabu

2 hours a week is good - please do not express your disappointment or you risk losing this slot

Ghoagland at least you see your grandchildren for 2 hours a week and you know they are nearby not the other side of the world like many of us have
You say you were close to your son until he got married but, my love, that is totally normal his wife is his priority and we mums take our back seat you can’t expect to be as important in his life any more. It’s not how nature works we bring up our children until they find a partner and then often they are gone (for many of us thousands and thousands of miles away)
I think the problem is your depression find something to do with your life away from your son, do some voluntary work
I may bang on about volunteering but it is a life saver, something to get up for, something to get involved in, to feel useful, and to give I think it should be on doctors notepads before the anti depressants

My son and daughter were very close too us before marriage but they have to move on. Having busy lives working and family life takes up their time. When they left home I suffered empty nest syndrome. I see my family about once a week these days. We fit in with both of their busy time tables when we can.
I have been very down myself the last few months. Our daughter is ill and I am finding it difficult to deal with lately. My few friends have been a great support. As I have been to them in times of need.
Life situations must seem to be worse if you have depression so my heart goes out to you.
I suggest maybe in-between visits Whatsapp or phone call to the family just to ask how they are all doing. It might lift your spirits just to talk even if only briefly.
Could you meet up with friends more for lunch etc. Mixing with people and talking will help your mood too. Rather than being on your own and dwelling on the situation. Get more involved with threads on here that will certainly take up some time. I hope you find something to occupy your mind and I wish you well.

2 hours a week with the grandchildren is perfectly fine; better that than none at all. And who knows, that may increase over time. Count your blessings; some grandparents haven't seen their grandchildren for years.

ghoagland I am very sorry you are so down at the moment. In the scheme of things one afternoon a week to see grandchildren is not that bad really. I know you live very near so to see them more would be really easy. But, your son and DIL feel that is enough. Go with it for now please. Try to keep busy other days. Plan what you can do with them on their afternoon with you. When shopping look for little inexpensive gifts, crafts etc you can do with them. Smile and be happy when you see them and maybe, hopefully they might ask you to see them on other occasions too? One afternoon a week gives plenty of hope for more in the future. Look after yourself

Have you tried Facetime ghoagland.
I only see my son once a week for an hour or so but we Facetime each night so that I can have a word with him and my super d-i-l.
I do the same with my granddaughter each night so that I can see my great grandson as well as talk to her and her hubby. We dont talk for long but it helps to be able to SEE the family.
Its just a suggestion if your family would agree to a certain time each day and if someone could show you how to do it.
I hope you will soon be feeling better soon.

I would be chuffed to bits with 2 hours per week. I dont think I have seen my eldest son’s kids twice this year! Grab what you can and be grateful with it.

I think 2 hours a week is fine. We get about the same, but only with one grandchild as the others live far away from us.
Our DD does make time for both sets od grandparents to see the child, which we appreciate as both parents work full time and the child has many other activities during the week.
I'm sorry you are struggling with depression, it's an awful disease. But I wouldn't put it down to lack of time with grandchildren, there must be other causes.
I believe that medication takes a while to make any appreciable difference, so I hope you will feel better as time passes.

Sorry you are depressed, everything seems so much worse than it is. Perhaps you need different medication therapy .I would be happy with 2 hours a week, never had it though.
.

I am sorry you are so unhappy and I hope your depression is respoinding to treatment.

You did not mention how old or young your grandchildren are, which I feel is important, as you really cannot expect small children to want to be with someone battling with what sounds like a serious depression.

I realise that neither my, nor most of the other answers were what you probably were hoping for, but I don't think you fairly can expect to see the children more often.

Do try and be as bright and cheerful as possible when you are with your family even though it will be a mega effort if you are suffering from depression. Try to be a fun person for the GC to be with. I hope you soon feel a bit brighter

You don’t say how old they are. Are you a new grandparent? Or has this been so for a while? Two hours a week sounds fine to be honest, whatever their ages, but if they’re at school for example, it’s harder to fit it in. Younger children have daytime naps to juggle round.

I get the feeling there is more to this, as you say you were so close to your son before he married. You can still be close...but from a distance. He has a wife and family now. They must take priority.

I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling with depression. Are you being treated for this?

I think if you just step back and relax...you may find your invites increase. It may be you’re coming across as being ‘needy’, and this won’t help I’m sure.

Just enjoy what you do have...and don’t hanker for what you think you’re missing.

Sorry...I missed where you said you take medication. This can take a while to kick in, in fact...you can feel worse to start with.

Take care

ghoagland I think your feelings link to:

1. Your expectation that your own experience as a child with your grandmother would be replicated when your became a grandmother. But life is different for each family and we all have to adapt our expectations and compromise to build and maintain relationships

2. Your depression making it hard for you to accept the fact that your expectations are not being met!

I think you need to think about how to make the time you do see them into something special. Little routines that children never forget as they grow up, and look forward to.

For me, I have never forgotten the "half and apple and half an orange" each that my grandmother and I shared when I was with her ...it was a little routine, whilst she read me a story! Such a simple but special routine

For my own children it was my mum's raspberry tarts and a glass of milk whilst they played a game together!!

I suspect that my own grandchildren will never forget their times planting or digging vegetables with their grandad and their times cooking with me ...when they were a bit younger as now we rarely see them as they moved away recently!

Maybe a routine with a book/story for you? A routine with a game? A special toy that is got out every week. It depends on you, your grandchildren and what works for all of you

Good luck

I am sorry you are struggling with depression and sincerely hope you begin to feel better soon. Please don't judge me harsh but when our children marry their spouse takes first place and that is exactly how it should be. If you see your GC for two hours a week - that is lovely, please enjoy your time with them . Do remember that when our children marry our relationship does change a little , they are building a new life and looking forward. Your son still loves you very much , but he must make his wife his priority. I hope you are in a position to accept that, just be there if they need you and try not to be clingy or expect too much. That way you will preserve your mother / son relationship and that is of course what you want. I wish you well and hope you will soon kick that depression out of your life. Be positive, enjoy those GC when you do see them. ?