Explaining GP estrangement to DS (DIL side)

We estranged from both sides eventually. We had four children, and once the older two started to notice the problems, we called it a day.

I suppose we’re different in that our children saw, and so were able to decide for themselves. The younger two didn’t though, and had to take what we said as truth.

We always told them to go and visit their grandparents once they were old enough, but none ever have, except for one of my daughters, who briefly got in contact, because we had a short estrangement from her. It didn’t last....

Just be honest with your son. It’s all you can do. You’ve got plenty of ‘ back up ‘ by the sounds of it.

Life is too short to spend it with difficult people.

All the best.

Without knowing more details
Age appropriate explanations are the way to go: they are not nice people to mommy and daddy
When getting older: we didn't get along with them and they refused to respect our decisions

The less fuss the better

I was in your DSs position. Didn’t have a relationship with my one grandmother until I was in my 30s and never did with my grandfather. It didn’t bother me at all either growing up or in adulthood. In some ways, I was removed from even the potential of emotional damage when I did start contact because I wasn’t very invested in the relationship. It was easy to see the not great behaviors sometimes, but it didn’t impact my life. I did have a great relationship with my other grandmother and grandfather, so I never faced a reality where I didn’t have any grandparents in my life.

Unfortunately my older children witnessed emotional abuse but, it hasn't negatively impacted them as we estranged and they know abuse will not be tolerated here.

My youngest, when he asks will be told general truth, they weren't nice people, they didn't treat us well and they made us unhappy. When he is older I will explain what emotional abuse is and what it looks like

I won't go into personal examples as I really don't think our children should have to carry our burdens if it can be avoided

Just answer any questions that your son asks as honestly as is age appropriate. No need to go into the details whilst he's young; a simple "We fell out with ×××××× & ××××× a long time ago and don't see them anymore".

Tell him the truth…. Thats all you’ve got.

We’re estranged from our granddaughter through divorce so perhaps slightly different. Emotional abuse is so so difficult to acknowledge far less deal with.

Tread carefully always thinking of the child and you will do what’s right. It can take years to really see what going on.

What he hasn’t had, surely he won’t miss? If and when he queries anything be circumspect & economical with detail? Try not to carry the dysfunction down into another generation & spare the child any bitterness, anger ir sadness which pervades your lives.
I hope it works out OK.