Friendship,advice and support if estrangement has affected your life.

Dotcom sorry about your daughter. Not having my husband with me makes it very hard at times. When my son decided I was surplus to requirements. I shouted at my husband that it won't have happened if he hadn't died. Which sounds very wicked but it's how I felt. Then I saw him with that stupid grin of he's face as if to say you can cope. No I am not mad . Since he died I talk to him everyday out loud and still see him even thought he has never lived here. In my old house used to hear him drop his briefcases in the porch at 6.30 and shout hello Whiff. And saw him sitting in the armchair he always did. As my armchairs are identical I don't see him in one here.

But it gives me comfort and its what gets me through everyday . When I held 4 out of my 5 grandson's for the first time I told them their grandad loved them . Not so anyone could hear.

It's when anything happy or sad you need your family. But estrangement excludes ones you want to tell. I let my son know I finally had a diagnosis for what's wrong with me . The silence was deafing. Why I thought he would bother to send me a short text I don't know. It made me realise I will never see him again. My health got worse when he was 6 months old and his sister 4. Made me also realise he couldn't careless if I died. And that's sad. But it's his choice.

Glad Mr S made a full recovery Smiles. As I love your tales of Mr S and of course your fur babies. I don't have pets but think they are better than some human family members. And from what I know from people with dogs and cats they seem to know when you need extra TLC .

Sorry DSL I forgot to respond to your post.

I'm surprised that your EA weren't on the ball with your buyers mortgage application. The general approach from EA's here is that any potential buyer has a mortgage offer 'in theory' so all that's required is the lenders acceptance of the surveyor's report and the value of the property they're lending against.

I hadn't realised it's been 3 weeks since you last heard from your son. They really do like to blow hot and cold don't they. It's either feast or famine isn't it.

Well as well as being chilly here it's also raining. Mr. S. is not a happy bunny as last nights bowls match was rained off and it might be the case this afternoon.

I do think that the term 'living bereavement' used to describe estrangement is very apt.

You've said Dotcom how a death in the family makes you want to talk to those close to you, and how when that happens the absence of your estranged DD is huge.

It's the same when someone close to you has died. When something good or bad happens you want to talk to them but can't because they're no longer here. I still 'talk' to my gran, but of course she can't reply and can't give me the support and comfort that I sometimes really need.

Before Mr. S. finally had his long awaited surgery 2.5 years ago, he had a particularly bad health scare and I remember being in A & E and feeling so utterly alone.

With DS so far away in Aus., despite having been estranged at that time for about 7 years, I wanted our ES. I needed him to be there with me, to put his arms around me to comfort me and to give me his support. For that brief period of time, I was so afraid and needed him to be the son he used to be.

Thank you all for your welcome.

Have been estranged from our DD for many years and still find those words in the same sentence is alien to me.
Like you all I have experienced all the emotions that this sorry situation brings about.

We try to continue our lives on a different path than the one we had assumed we were going on.

Then another death in the family and you want to share and talk to your those close to you and the absence of our DD is huge. The emotions are raw again.

I take comfort in reading your comments and the ups and downs of life. Sharing a lot of your emotions…the wobbles in particular!
The saying of a shared experience is very true.

Loved the photo and made me smile.

Thanks

Smiles....I was tempted to put my heating on this morning.
But resisted. It was really chilly first thing.

Whiff. That picture was funny, she has nice legs though. ?.

Hi Yogin, Nice temps here too, much better. Aiming to do some gardening. Hopefully the rain will have softened the soil a bit so I can plant out some new shrubs and dahlias that I've got in pots.

Feeling so frustrated, fed up having to chase estate agents for updates. Anyway.....my buyer has finally applied for their mortgage. Apparently there was a "hiccup"., something to do with documentation. I had hoped everything would be concluded Sept/Oct time so I could avoid moving in the middle of winter. It's looking very unlikely.

It's DS1's birthday next week. Will I be invited to join in the celebrations.......no idea. DILs parents are still here (for the summer) and I'm still being sidelined.

I hosted my grandson's birthday party. It was hard work and I incurred some considerable expense. That was nearly 3 weeks ago.....not a word from them since. It's not really good enough, I feel very used and taken for granted. Getting just a tad cheesed off with it all. I find myself asking is it really worth it it. Maybe it's time I just focussed on me and stopped trying so hard.

Trying to keep busy but lacking motivation, definitely lost my mojo at the moment. It's actually quite dull and grey here this Mornjng. Matches my mood. Lol. The anniversary of husbands death is looming in the horizon, always a difficult time. Hopefully I will have more va va voom in a couple of weeks, once that's out of the way.

On a more cheery note, DS2 and his partner are taking me out for a belated birthday lunch on Saturday.

Nice to have something nice to look forward to. ?

Great pic Whiff. I've already made the decision to grow old disgracefully, but that may be a step too far for me.Those bus strikes where you are must be a pain. Taxi's aren't cheap but if you have to go somewhere what option have you got.

Well I'd actually say is bordering on cold here this morning Yogin. We even put our heating on last night for a couple of hours in the living room. Maybe wouldn't have bothered but our cockapoo always has a reaction to her annual vaccination, it was a bit chilly and we wanted her to feel cosy and comfy.

Are our dogs spoiled? You bet they are.

Thank you Smiles Whiff & Madgran good to be back and that the thread is still going well. Nice to read all the posts and those of the new comers, welcome.

Sitting in the garden, even though bit chilly this morning [which is a blessing after all the heat]. Going to grab a coffee now then off to the park with my little Joey.

Hi again Yogin

Yogin glad you are back . It wouldn't be the same without you.

One of my craft group sent this to me yesterday. Reckons it her and a friend when they are older. My mom was always kicking her legs in the air even in her 80's. She did flash her knickers. She wore an old pair on her head to keep her curlers in.?

Allsorts hope you are feeling brighter today.

DerbyshireLass hope you rested and feeling better today.

Until I moved here always had a mobile hairdresser. My hairdressers is a few roads away. And for the first time my stylist is a man. Because I am always happy with the cut waiting until 8th to get my hair because he is away until then. Since Covid restrictions have stopped gone back to my dry cut.

Welcome Dotcom look for to hearing more from you if you feel like sharing that is. I know how hard it is to tell your story. But you can always just have a chat.

Watched the African Queen the other day I had forgotten how sad it was in one part. But all ended happily. Saw Hatari ,do like John Wayne films even though he always plays himself.

Well buses still on strike so will have taxi to exercise class tomorrow but if it's not raining have a gentle walk back. Will make sure I don't end up on the floor this week.

Have a good day everyone.

Good advice Lily.

I think the best way with new hairdressers is not to have a cut or colour on the first appointment.

I go for a wash and blow dry first, to see if they can follow what I want. If it goes wrong, I can just wash it out.?. With a cut or colour, you have to live with it for a while.

Welcome, Dotcom.?

Enjoyed everyone's updates but been very busy today and now I'm whacked so just a quick wave and goodnight.

Hi Dotcom. Welcome.

Just watching Mission Impossible II. They are showing all of the franchise this week. Mindless fun, just what I need right now. ?

Hello and welcome Dotcom.

Welcome Dotcom

Thanks.

Hello Dotcom it's nice to see your post and good to know that our at times waffling posts help you. Keep reading and if you want to join in you're more than welcome.

Love reading your daily news and views as it helps me with my own situation..possibly it’s the minutiae of everyday life that gets us through.

I'm a Brit and find it really hard to seethe silently.

Smileless2012

That's not good DL did you complain? If I was seriously dissatisfied I wouldn't pay.

Are you kidding.....I'm a Brit. I smile and say, thank you it's lovely, whilst silently seething. ??

Message deleted by Gransnet for breaking our forum guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

That's not good DL did you complain? If I was seriously dissatisfied I wouldn't pay.

DL. Oh I hate having a new stylist. My lovely hairdresser has just gone off for a year's maternity leave.?

I'm not sure whether to try a different stylist at my regular (expensive) place, or try to look for a new hairdresser.

Will have to make a decision soon...my hair is thick, unruly and grows quickly.?