blog to tell family stories

The genealogical sites I use do not allow public information for anyone living, I think. So information on my immediate family still living is marked private and can't be accessed. Although I wouldn't normally include it anyway. The stories I've seen published are generally about people long dead.

There's a big difference between creating a family history blog and washing your dirty laundry in public.

Callistemon21

^Lots of people trace their ancestry and many people post family stories on their trees on various sites. All very public. Ancestry is full of them^.

Some of them totally inaccurate! I'm descended from Anne Boleyn apparently ?

The other thing about Ancestry and making a tree public is that anyone can find out information from it and track down people in the tree.

At least 50% of public Ancestry trees are complete rubbish, especially the larger ones.

I'm dead against posting a public tree because I know you can easily piece together a living family even though the living people are not named on the tree. I've done it myself, searching for the biological father of a woman in her 40s. I managed to identify three possible fathers and then her actual father, and this was mostly done from a DNA match, an Ancestry tree and FreeBMD website.

I'd like to speak to the question of why your grandchildren don't want to know you. I never knew my own grandparents. As an adult, I wasn't very interested as they were strangers. In fact, I've been angry when my parents have tried to foist my 'family' on me because I don't see them as my family. There's been so much of my life they haven't shared so it would never be the same. They can never be more than acquaintances. I'm sure there are different stories out there, but that is mine.

As far as the blog, stories like, my grandmother grew up on x street, worked at x place, spent her weekends doing x hobby. That's one thing. If you start sharing about the generations after you (i.e., your gc's parents) I think you are on shaky ground. My parents' stories overlap with mine and I wouldn't want that shared so publicly unless I choose to share it. If my grandmother started writing about that, it would seal the deal as far as not wanting contact with her.

It sounds like you are wanting to use the blog to bring your grandchildren to you. It's unlikely that will happen that way. It would be a good idea to talk about it in counselling and maybe find a better way to reach out to your grandchildren, if that is what you want to do.

I understand what you are feeling, but definitely feel you are going about it in the wrong way,

It sounds like an unusual situation where you became estranged from your daughter because of her husband’s families culture? Religion? It’s not clear, or maybe just an extremely dominant mother in law.

But the girl had choices, and whatever her reason, she seems to have stuck by it. So I agree with those who have suggested you write something to be left in your will.

Very good advice Mandrake

To those who recommend counselling. I have come to the conclusion that the only people who get anything out of counselling are professional councillors who send out their bills.
To those who tell me to give up on my grandsons; as I have said already; I have. This is for my great grand children and their descendants yet unborn and for all grandchildren who may not even know they have a grandparent.
VioletSky; you have completely misread the whole thread; deliberately maybe? to accuse me of stalking and harassment is a bit sick. You sound like a counsellor in need of a sucker/customer.

Stillstanding

To those who recommend counselling. I have come to the conclusion that the only people who get anything out of counselling are professional councillors who send out their bills.
To those who tell me to give up on my grandsons; as I have said already; I have. This is for my great grand children and their descendants yet unborn and for all grandchildren who may not even know they have a grandparent.
VioletSky; you have completely misread the whole thread; deliberately maybe? to accuse me of stalking and harassment is a bit sick. You sound like a counsellor in need of a sucker/customer.

I’m sorry you’ve not had cold experiences with therapists
Is that perhaps because you don’t like what they say?

I’m not sure why you’re asking for opinions and then arguing with viewpoints you don’t like.

Leave your grandchildren alone

It's just the truth, no I'm nit a counsellor...

Maybe the laws on stalking and harassment are just different where you are

Cold = good

If you want to leave such a legacy, write a book and post a copy to your grandchildren. At their ages, it is fine to go ahead and do that. A book will be more durable and dependable than a blog.

They’re adults, adults who have decided not to get in touch with you. And do you honestly think someone will stumble across your blog and suddenly want you reunite with their grandparents?

Frankly, you sound very hostile. You don’t mention why you don’t have a relationship with your AC and DGC, but maybe try looking there first.

And if a random relative sent me a book full of ‘entertaining’ stories about what so and so said to such and such, it would probably go straight into the bin.

AmberSpyglass

They’re adults, adults who have decided not to get in touch with you. And do you honestly think someone will stumble across your blog and suddenly want you reunite with their grandparents?

Frankly, you sound very hostile. You don’t mention why you don’t have a relationship with your AC and DGC, but maybe try looking there first.

And if a random relative sent me a book full of ‘entertaining’ stories about what so and so said to such and such, it would probably go straight into the bin.

My copy would also go in the bin

I’d be very annoyed that same relative made it a point to ensure that anytime someone googled me that her other book showed up.

Mine would go in the bin too. I would value people having accountability for past issued and working towards a positive relationship in the future much more than the past

@Stillstanding, your words read as though your motivation is largely from anger and bitterness. And that’s only in a few responses here.

I don’t think you’re going to accomplish what you want.

I see that you did not ask for advice, only to connect with other estranged parents/grandparents who have done the same thing. So you have made your mind up that you are going to do this no matter what happens and you seem determined and rather impatient at being told that it may not be a good idea.

It sounds like you have other family who would value the information. IMO they should be the reason you do this.

I do hope as you do this, you do it with a healthy set of expectations. Good luck!

imaround, thank you.

To those who say that 50 per cent of trees on Ancestry are talking rubbish. Have you done a survey...No! its just you being judgemental and passing off a geustimate as knowledge. Dangerous habit.

My guestimate is that it is more like 60 per cent. Ancestry is just a bit of fun that some people take too far and they link their trees with as many as possible. You can easily tell who they are as they have thousands on their trees. I only have a few hundred. Each one checked and rechecked by me. I am proud to be the descendant of cordwainers and musicians and there are so many sets of twins on my tree! Just a bit of interesting fun. Nothing to get paranoid about.
What are people so scared of? Why do some people think very body is after info about them.
CALM DOWN.
If someone thinks they are related to you and try to connect to you they can only do it through the site and you can cut them off.

As for my idea about the blog imaround is correct, I did not ask for all your judgemental criticisms or opinions, I only asked if anyone else has done this! Thanks a bunch. Not!

I don't do Ancestry but I can understand if you are interested in family history you may find it helpful to your extended family. I also understand you might be sad and angry about how things with your daughter and her children have worked out. It is ok to feel whatever you feel you know. Try not to take people's comments personal. Nobody really knows anything, only what you post. It;s how these type of forums work

I don't think you will accomplished what you want stillstanding.

People here haven't written blogs about family because of the issues stated.

But I think you could write your blog for the people you do have good relationships with and have it mean something

And I think you could only share perdonal information belonging to those who give you permission or those who have passed away.

And I think attaching your own name would make it available to anyone looking...

And that would be OK

To those who say that 50 per cent of trees on Ancestry are talking rubbish. Have you done a survey...No! its just you being judgemental and passing off a geustimate as knowledge.Dangerous habit.
My guestimate is that it is more like 60 per cent

How rude.

Chestnut said:
At least 50% of public Ancestry trees are complete rubbish, especially the larger ones

At least 50% could be 60%
I suggested some could be inaccurate.
You disagree but it doesn't mean we're talking rubbish.

CALM DOWN
A good suggestion - as ASG said Frankly, you sound very hostile

I thought I made a good suggestion ......
But the OP said she doesn't want opinions, just approval.

The OP has already made her mind up that she is 1) right and 2) doing this no matter the consequences. It doesn't matter if everyone else on the planet thinks she is making a big mistake.

I feel sorry for her grandchildren. They didn't ask to be the target of OPs unhealthy expectations and continued attempts to.get them to contact her.

I agree with those who said getting counseling would be a benefit. I can also see why the OP does not see it as a benefit, because no responsible therapist will agree with her that her actions are good for family relations.

Until the OP realizes that being right is less important than being together, this is all she has to grasp onto.

I must be reading the OP differently from others on here. The OP hasn't stated that she wants to reunite with anyone, only that she's sad that half of her grandson's family history is missing. She wants to make sure that, should there come a time when they, or their children, or their children's children want to know the complete family history, the missing half has been documented. There is nothing wrong with that.

It is how I read it as well Normandy

I know she has become quite passionate but it's hardly a crime

There are other ways. It doesn’t have to be a blog. However, OP’s mind is made up and she only wants to hear from others who have gone down the same route. In other words, she wants only approval. Sending stories out into the ether in the hope that generations as yet unborn will find them is the stuff of madness.

I think it is the dedicating these things to her grandchildren by name so it is the first result if they Google themselves which is the main issue.

They are not in contact with her and dont wish to be at the present time.

Obviously my feelings would be stronger if they were minor children

Plus there are far less public channels to at least try and if there is no response it should stop