Friendship, advice and support if estrangement has affected your life.

Morning all

Not looking forward to walkies today, rotten weather. Did have a lovely walk on the beach yesterday though.

Harry! How could he trash his family as he is doing, it's shameful. The RF keeping a dignified silence as always. The Taliban weren't impressed with him disclosing how many men he'd killed! A solider never discloses these things. Some are saying there may be retributions.

Lemon marmalade sounds yummy Whiff

Yes, it's hard Onwards to congratulate a new grandparent. I remember a good friend of mine when she got her new step-baby GC and the photos of her holding him/her smiling and being very chuffed. She was really included in everything with the new baby. You think 'how unfair' but still really pleased for her of course.

Are you back to your choir singing Smiles?

Yes, takes a while Hugs to get things sorted in a new place, your bungalow sounds lovely even so.

Seems like your ES is taking after your mum Onwards, so sad xx

A dignified silence is always better than a load of hot air, as we all know that words can't be taken back. "Only fools rush in", as Elvis once sang!

A thoughtful response is always going to be better than an impetuous reaction. People will always remember Harry as a bitter fool. Charles of course has his faults as we all do, but I believe he loves Harry and wants the best for him as all parents do.

Yes, well they have in common being sectioned in the past and hatefulness plus paranoia and also not taking responsibility for their own decisions. Its very sad. He is young enough to change and I hope the Harry debacle will give him a jolt in the right direction.

Yes so hard to congratulate a GP but I always do. It's often easier than yesterday but the Harry stuff had upset me.

Hope you all have a lovely day

Well done Onward on congratulating the new gp. Yes the Harry stuff has been upsetting. I really hope that it gives folk a better understanding of estrangement however. I'm still not sure what Harry is wanting from his family though. What he says sounds incredibly vague. I don't know what our EC wants from us. I'm convinced whatever it is it won't be enough though. Because we are not enough. How sad for all in RF that this is being played out on a world stage. And by all accounts, there's another book to come! As Smiles has said many times, no contact and not hearing anything from EC can be a mixed blessing.
Horrible day here weatherwise......but at least supper is already in the slo cooker! Hope you're making good progress settling into your new home Hugs.

Thanks Spring.

IDK what they want, but maybe nothing.

Rotten weather here too Yogin

Shattered after a full day of writing workshops but lots of good stuff to process, really good day.

I think they might want to be left alone or chased. Or they might want money, Or they might just want to inflict pain. Or any number of things I just don't have the emotional energy to wonder about.

At the moment I have elderly parents to worry about , so that's another reason not to put up with awful treatment.

Onward my marmalade recipe is a Thane Prince one I started using in 2014. She boiled the fruit whole but scooped out the insides and put them ,pips and white pitch into a muslin which she tied and suspended in the preserving pan and you had to squeeze the bag to get all the pectin out. I used to beable to shred the peel as she did. But since 2019 and my hands got worse and I couldn't stand the couple of hours it took me the shred the peel so decided to do a cheats way. So after top and tailing the fruit and cutting in half and decarding the pips just blitz the whole fruit with a stick blender. Only ever use granulated sugar as Thane does and never had a marmalade that didn't set. When the Seville oranges are on sale but extra and freeze them. Once thawed used same technique and freezing doesn't alter the flavour etc. For my jams I use ready frozen fruit or in the summer and British berries are about and cheaper but a lot and freeze. I never cook berries from fresh as you need to boil them to get juice out and add water. I found freezing them thawing them in my persevering pan they product enough liquid and the fruit apart from blueberries collapses so I made those to break them up. That way the fruit is only boiled once and gives a fruiter flavour. I sit and read while things boil as I can't stand and watch.

Because of my limbs had to find cheats way to do things. Can't peel hard veg or cut them up anymore. Carrots I boil whole a kilo at a time and the skin is easy to remove and cut up if having visitors if not I freeze whole and if in a stew cut into it with kitchen scissors to cut all the veg up. Can only peel an onion but not cut up. Other hard veg I bake in foil lined tins with water and covered in foil . Once cooler easy to cut open and scoop out the flesh once cold I freeze .

My brother and sister in law plus Aggie got here yesterday morning. Having a lovely time. My daughter and grandson's came yesterday after and the oldest got his wish and took her for a walk he held the lead all the time and my brother said he was brilliant even crossing roads and talked none stop about school. Neither boys are used to dogs and Aggie never had anything to do with children. She was nervous of the 2 yr old but went she was held he stroked her. Went straight to his great aunt and sat on her lap for a cuddle and read to. He insisted she helped him put the wooden train set together. Had to explain she couldn't get on the floor like nannie can't she has MS.

My brother took some beautiful pics of the dog walk. It was to wet for the park. But they played ball in the bungalow. They stayed a couple of hours and Aggie went to sleep afterwards she's 6 . To young boys wore her out.

My chicken and veg pie and dauphinoise potatoes followed by steamed golden syrup sponge and custard was a hit. They both had seconds of the pud. Lunch was a hit as well. It's was lovely cooking for more than me. But knew it would be tiring so apart from the sponge everything was prepared on Friday then fell asleep on the sofa for a hour or so.

They go home later this morning but will come again in a few months and I will go to them in the summer. They have told my daughter they have a tourer caravan that they use for visitors on a nice site with running water and loo. And they can use it when they like. There are a lot of places round where they live for 2 young boys to enjoy.

Because where they live now they didn't worry about leaving her dad in the bungalow as it's a safe area and he went to the church tea afternoon and talked to the vicar and one of there friends checked in on him. He's 90 but you wouldn't think it . Very active and drives, couple of health problems but otherwise ok. Mind you he tells everyone my brother feeds him on gruel. 😁

The work on the garden is all finished just needs plants . They are drawing up plans how they want the kitchen extended. So that will all be started soon.

Sorry this all about cooking and their visited but we all miss eachother so it's always special when I see them. Since they moved in April their quality of life and healthcare is better than the Midlands . Like me they will never move again and found living in a bungalow so much easier and cheaper to run. They live their lives to the full like me.

Take care all .

Whiff I make jam every year and give most of it away. I have made marmalade with Seville oranges and never will again! The amount of pips were too much to deal with.

Your marmalade does sound delicious Whiff. It's admirable how you find ways to carry on doing the things you enjoy. I know you'll tell me it isn't, but I do admire you, very much.

I think the H debacle may give some a better understanding of estrangement Spring but there'll always be some who lay the blame at the door of the parent(s) regardless.

It maybe helpful to others who are estranged but feel unable to talk about it even anonymously as we do here, because knowing it isn't just happening to you does bring a degree of comfort.

I think our ES and his wife wanted to be chased Onward, in fact I think they expected it, but chasing someone under those circumstances for me would have been wrong. It would have been condoning and even enabling completely unacceptable behaviour and goodness knows how much of a run around we'd have been given, and the toll that would have taken on our well being.

The estrangement did enough damage.

H's behaviour is shameful I agree Yogin and has certainly been a trigger for many of us. We can only be thankful that no one's interested in what's happened in our families so it isn't being played out to the rest of the world.

Mr. S. left early this morning to go and watch some of the world bowls and wont be back until Thursday. It's very strange without him here, we're so used to be together 24/7 that the house feels rather empty; roll on Thursday.

Hi everyone....still reading along. So much sadness, so much sorrow and heartache. 💐 to you all.

Smiles.......I agree that the debacle with H this week might have one good unexpected consequence......it has brought estrangement out of the closet and into the open.

Shining a light onto estrangement can only be a good thing. It's had been a taboo subject for far too long.

As for H himself.....well he is clearly a very damaged man, added to which I think he is still self medicating. He looks ill, and in every respect, a broken man.

My take is - what we are seeing now is the end game in sight. He has been the subject of a slow and steady period of devaluation and his wife is now ready to discard him.

I'm pretty certain that although she is not the ghost writer I do think she has had a lot of input in his book. She is "hanging him out to dry", ready for the divorce. It will be ugly and brutal.

She is now lying low whilst she continues to play him, encouraging his worst excesses to put him in a really bad light - all so she can then present the contents of this book, the documentaries, interviews etc as evidence of his "unsuitability" as a husband and father.

It's a deliberate and very nasty game. And he, deluded fool that he is, has not only allowed this to happen, he has colluded in what will be his ultimate downfall.

Whilst most the book appears to be (relatively) harmless what is truly unforgivable is Harry's revelations about killing 25 members of the Taliban.

It is not merely distasteful, it is downright dangerous. He has not only made himself a target for reprisals, but he has put his children, the royal family, the army and indeed the U.K. at risk of terrorist attacks. The threats to both the Invictus Games and the Coronation have been magnified and represent a clear and present danger. His "chess piece" remark was incendiary and has given the Taliban a perfect excuse to seek retaliation.

What was he thinking......He has betrayed the military code and is a traitor to his country.

His wife clearly has no regard for him or their children because she not only allowed him to write this, I strongly suspect she probably encouraged him to do so in order that she can cite this in a divorce court as clear evidence of his meglomania and sociopathic tendencies.

Oh what a pretty picture she will paint, her as the poor abused victim and he as the monstrous bullying psychopath. Typical narcissist manipulation.

Let us hope that people learn from this, that they learn just how dangerous narcissists can be, how they wreak destruction on not only their primary victim (usually their spouse or parents) but also on the wider family, their work colleagues and society at large,

Time and time again we talk about the damage that estranged AC s inflict on their own children. Can you imagine what the next generation of royals are going to have to contend with.......not only Harry's children but also Williams children too.

H calls out his father (Charles) for his dysfunctional upbringing but clearly hasn't got the wit to see that what he is doing to his own and his brothers children is far far worse.

The only possible ray of hope in all this is that finally estrangement is now being put under the microscope.

Maybe, as a result, some EAC will finally wake up and see just what they have done. We can but hope.

Harry extensively detailed his drug taking in his tell-all memoir Spare, claiming that psychedelic drugs allowed him to see “the truth”.

This is exactly the problem I had with my ES

for you all and I hope your day is going well

Everything you have said is true Derbyshirelass

Smileless I think maybe my ES wanted to be chased too, but I stopped making the effort to chase when he became obviously abusive. I had actually run out of emotional energy.

Derbyshire lass, I hope you are wrong, but I too have been wondering why M didn’t read/edit the book as some parts clearly make H look v foolish. Did he discuss the wisdom of its publication with his therapist?
I sometimes wonder if anyone is really trying to help him.

I’ve thought that about Megan, it’s the only way she can get a life settlement and custody of the children.

Of course, M has her own agenda in all of this. Well, she and Doria.

Your time with your brother and sister in law (and dog) sounds lovely Whiff. So good to appreciate special moments with family members even though we grieve and carry pain for those who are missing.

It's great to hear you're having a lovely time Whiff. The food sounds delicious. Glad you've got more get-togethers to look forward to.

Hope Mr S has a good time and rattling around on your own isn't too lonely Smiles

Great to see you DSL.

Popped over to see DD and SILtobe today. He has a new niece and we shared a zoom with his family, whom we are getting to know. Did a bit of crochet when I got back. A nice day.

Drugs showing H his 'truth', certainly makes his truth questionable doesn't it Onward.

Sounds as if your brother and s.i.l. are settled and happy in their new home Whiff.

Would he have listened if she had Spring, it seems to me that H does what he wants. At the very least she's collateral damage.

He'll be enjoying himself hugs. Lovely hotel and all inclusive so may return carrying a pound or two extra. He sent me an email yesterday "I love you my darling xxx".

Yes Smileless it certainly does make "the truth" questionable! As DL says, he has betrayed his Military code and is a traitor to this country.

Whiff your cooking sounds lovely! So many home comforts! Good idea to pace yourself.

Hope Mr S is having a lovely time at Bowls and that youre finding lots to keep you occupied Smileless. I take it you're not a Bowls fan

Im just trying to think what to have for lunch that's low calorie... to you all.

Maybe you are right about H Smiles, that he does what he wants. I was intrigued however he hinted he might like a role with the Commonwealth if asked. I doubt it will be offered. So if he’s detached from the RF and in the States, what will he do? Have an awful feeling he could become a ‘Spare’ to Meghan and her roles…..

Hope you’re able to enjoy your time while Mr S is away Smiles. A chance to catch up on all the tv programmes he’d rather not watch maybe??

Anyone else appreciative that tv commentators appear to be picking up on the inconsistencies of Harry’s words and behaviour? Sounds dreadful to admit this but we’ve gone round in circles trying to make sense of our EC’s words. Is just a comfort to know we aren’t alone. Overall though I’m just incredibly sad to see another family where all the members are clearly in pain and suffering, both estrangers and estranged.

Yes, so many inconsistencies- but not all of our EC have the media to reflect back to them what they have said and done, or the consequences that Harry might face. So I don't know if our EC have the self evaluation to reflect back on their own actions by themselves.

Where there's life, there's always hope.