Hello , it's a long time since I posted , I do often read your posts and feel deeply for you all . Over this last year I have had counselling and am taking anti depressants which has helped . My daughter has chosen to see me as her enemy , and I know has said unkind things about me to my granchildren and I rarely see the girls 17 and 11 now . My daughter doesn't include me in her family now the girls are older and I am of no use anymore . Its coming closer to Christmas and daughter wants to show either to her self , friends that she is a loving daughter and sends the odd text or pics of the family dog or picture of them on days out , or recently a text showing a gift she's bought me for Christmas, yet I never get a nice phone call and she doesn't show any intention to visit as the last time she was very rude to me in front of the girls causing a very difficult atmosphere . I'm being played , she pretends to care but the truth is she's disinterested now she doesn't need me . It's complicated
A year and a half ago she decided to verbally attack me and I never saw or heard from the family for 8 months , I wrote letters asking to see the girls and got verbally abused twice . Ignored all over last Christmas which nearly killed me . There is now very limited contact because I have stepped back for my health sake . If daughter sends a text usually telling me what they are doing as a family I always reply so she can't lay any more blame on me , but I don't make contact to her. I do send the odd text to the girls but they don't reply , I do it to let them know I love them and am here always .
So in the last year and a half my life has changed, I feel I no longer have a family and daughter had made it quite clear I am not part of it anymore . Sorry I don't post much as I dont always know what to say . But when I read your posts my heart hurts for you too . I think it's worse this time of year because Christmas should be a time of family togetherness and we are left out in the cold .
My counsellor said the girls are older now and as they grow and become independent they will always remember the nurturing and love I gave them and I time will come visit me again. My best wishes to you all who have this loss and deep pain also