Friendship, advice and support if estrangement has affected your life.

I wouldn't be at all surprised Yogin and as know from DS that his brother told his wife he'd given up everything for her, strongly suspect she will have issued the same threat.

Well I'm feeling mightily relieved today as it turns out I've been worrying about nothing. During my illness in February when I was coughing relentlessly, I felt a sudden and very sharp pain just below my right breast.

It was really bad and continued to be so for several days before easing but still being there. I've had it ever since, not all the time, but depending on what I'm doing is still quite uncomfortable.

I've been putting off contacting my GP for weeks, and worrying that it might be something serious. So today I put my big girl knickers on and rang the surgery.

This afternoon I received a 'phone call from the senior nurse practitioner who once I'd explained what had happened, said she could tell me exactly what the problem is.

She said during a coughing fit I'd popped a rib which will have popped back into place but damaged tissue and muscle around it. It'll never be quite right again but the discomfort will continue to ease but can take months before it goes altogether.

I told her how relieved I was and she was very nice saying she understood why I was worried it could be indicative of something more sinister, and that if I get a cough again, to cross my arms across my chest to hold everything in place because as it's happened once, it could happen again.

Feel a bit silly TBH but cannot put into words how relieved I am.

So relieved for you Smileless, although have to say a popped rib doesn’t sound great(!), but will remember the tip about crossing arms!
Thanks also Allsorts for the tip about taking a photo of the car. Brilliant! Should have thought of that!
Bit down yesterday after non EC showed us recent photos of EC. We’ve decided we want to hear about their life….but the whole pointlessness of it all just hit me. I know is no way back, and we’ve managed to build a relatively good life without them in it, but at times I feel sad for what is lost. I know it’ll pass. It always does. But the days when it’s in focus are still hard.

Can't be easy seeing photo's of your EAC Spring. We don't want to see pictures or have any information about our ES and GC.

The periods of sadness do pass don't they but getting through them never seems to get any easier when we do get them.

I certainly wouldn't recommend popping a rib and I'm still surprised that I managed to do so from coughing. Really pleased that I know what it is especially as choir tonight has made it sore again.

A really good practice though and my singing lessons are definitely paying off.

Smiles your cough must have been really bad to pop a rib. No wonder you where in so much pain. Many years ago my husband coughed very hard and had a pain in the left side of his chest he insisted we called the doctor . Our GP came and my husband had torn the muscles on the left side of his body luckily or GP said he had done the same thing and even though a doctor went to hospital convinced he was having a heart attack.

It's pain enough having a cough as it hurts your chest but you must have been in agony but you carried on as normal but that's how strong you are no matter what you fight on.

Hopefully you had the sunshine yesterday and Mr S got the decking sorted .

Spring seeing those photos is hurting you and a pain you don't need. It just reinforces what you have lost. I don't suppose my son is happy but for my own piece of mind I am done. After reaching out one last time and receiving his text I deleted all the texts he had ever sent me . He will always be my son and those will always be my grandsons and as long as he is married I have a daughter in law. And no matter how they want to erase me from their lives they can't as I am alive and kicking. And that fact must be a thorn in their side.

Our estranged children can't escape the fact we exist as without us they wouldn't exist. I always thought my son was like his dad and he was until 2020. But he and my daughter in law have shown themselves to have turned out like my in laws. But at least they had the guts to treat us like crap to our faces where as my son and daughter in law have hidden behind email,text and letter as regards to my son and my daughter in law by trolling me on GN and her Reddit posts. They are both cruel and cowardly. Not traits they should be proud of . In fact they should hang their heads in shame. But one day they will have to face their choice and I hope I am still alive to see it. I have a lot of patience and have no intention of dieing anytime soon .

Someone asked me recently did I regret ever having him but I don't for 32 years he was a kind,caring loving son no idea who he is now and as much as I hate what he has done still love him. Thankfully our paths will never cross as we live in completely different sides of Merseyside. I only go into the city for the train station or to go too the Brain Charity. All the shops and activities I need are close at hand. Even the hospital is in the opposite direction to where they live.

Moving was the best thing I could have done and my son hasn't dented that . Bent it a bit for a while but the positives in my moving far out way the negative. I found me again and have a life style I had dreamed of years since my husband died.

Putting ourselves first after becoming parents gets lost then even when our children become adults and leave home some like me still had dependants after my husband died. We all make choices and have to do what we can live with. I have said before I was brought up with strong family values. So couldn't turn my back on my parents and even my vile mother in law when they needed me so much.

Reading the support thread helps me with my day to day life and I know I made the right choices in my life. Yes made some bad ones after my husband died but that was about work on my house nothing to do with taking care of family. But when you have made choices with someone for 29 years 22 as a married couple it's hard making them on your own . Many here understand that . People say if they had their time over they would do things differently but I know I wouldn't have as I was the same person.

All we experience in life makes us who we are. And all on here have shown time and time again how strong you all are. I know it doesn't feel like it at times but you are . Smiles,Yogin, Allsorts and other long timers have shown us relative newbies that you can have a good full filling life after estrangement.

I am lucky to have my daughter and family but we live independent lives. Yes for a while until my health problems where untreated I needed my daughter and only a couple of times my son to take me to A&E or emergency appointment to my GP. But haven't needed that since August 2021. When my heart problem got diagnosed and on medication for it . My HPX limb jerks and seizures have been under control since March 2020. Couple of months ago had to double the amount of medication for it as my legs felt like planks attached to them . But thankfully my legs feel like mine again.

Funny to think if I hadn't moved 100+ miles I still wouldn't have known 2 things I was born with and sorted my heart problem out. I always try and find a positive from a negative no matter if it's silly. But that's me.

Anyway baking today to take to craft group tomorrow. Making Victoria sandwich filled with my blueberry jam and a lemon marmalade cake.

My craft friend with breast cancer has been crocheting balloon dogs and made 35 selling them to friends and family for £5 to give to breast cancer fund. Mind you they look rude until made up. What I love about our group in another life we would never have met but we all get on and care about eachother. Mind you I do find out things I didn't know existed like pay to view online. When they where talking about it last week the younger ones I had to say old lady here what is that ? Honestly when I found out made me realise there are some very weird men out there that have very weird fetishes and willing to spend tens of pounds to satisfy their means. Meant who is turned on my a woman who you only see her feet putting on and off socks and stockings . And yes these things exist.

Well as usual rambled on . Have a good day everyone.

Not one drop of paint applied yesterday Whiff because the weather was so bad so we're going to crack on with it this morning. Popped Mr. S.'s painting clothes down while he was having breakfast, a nice subtle hint that we need to get going.

I'll be baking on Friday as my dear friend's coming on Saturday to stay fora few days; home made scones, lemon meringue pie and a Victoria sponge.

Mr. S. will be asking me why I don't bake more often and will get the response he always gets 'because there's just the two of us to eat it'.

I'm sorry to hear that you have been unwell Smileless. I hope your Rob pain is better.

Spring I couldn't look at pics or hear of what my estD & GC were doing at the beginning of this estrangement, but I can now.

Whiff your cakes sound delicious!

Smiles thought that's what had happened when I first read your post, it's surprising how a simple thing like that can cause such damaged, good to hear you are feeling better now. Enjoy your friends visit and baking, you can always freeze the cakes left over.

Yogin what is left over cake 😂😂😂😂😂😂

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202304/medium-452473-img-20230426-124720168.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202304/medium-618022-img-20230426-124657743-hdr.jpg

These are my cakes the Vic sponge will cut into 12 and the lemon marmalade into 16.

That was my question too Whiff.

We've finished painting the outside walls and it looks fab. It was a bit chilly so we kept warm with a couple of dance moves as we had music playing.

Thanks Grandmabatty this goes back to the last 3 weeks of February which is why I was getting worried, the discomfort's still there from time to time and I'm feeling it now because we've been painting.

Should have asked you Yogin I'll remember next time I'm worried; no pressure.

PS your cakes look yummy Whiff.

Whiff your cakes look lovely.

Thx cakes both look amazing Whiff!
And thanks for your earlier post - full of sound common sense as ever!

Whiff

Yogin what is left over cake 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Quite

Smileless, you must have been in a lot of pain with that broken rib, glad though that you've now found the cause and it will heal.
Whiff, you have done so well, your son has treated you so callously, yet you are not bitter and see the good in people and have your lovely d and family,
After 10 years not seeing our grandchildren which goes by so quickly, some of our grandchildren will seek us out in the not so distant future. Most things are in the open now and discussed, teenagers question and make up their own minds.
Spring, perhaps it’s best not to look at the photographs, it hurts too much. I personally liked to see a picture of my gd, it was tinged with regret of course of what it could have been but so lovely to see her happy.

Has anyone tried out the recipe that keeps popping up on GN for scones using SR four, whipping cream and a can of lemonade? Curiosity got the better of me so I've just made some and their fab, Mr. S. and I have done a taste test.

Scones from weird recipe and tried and tested Victoria sponge.

Smileless I havent seen that scone recipe. Are you able to post a link or the amount for each of 3 ingredients please?. I am hosting an afternoon tea for lots of visitors soon so an easy tasty scone recipe would be so useful! Your baking looks delicious BTW 🙂

Can't do links Madgran. You need 700g SR flour, 300 ml of whipping cream and a can of lemonade. Mix together and cook the cut out scones on 220 for about 13 -15 minutes. Sounds weird but it works .

Nice baking Smiles. Whilst reading your post the clip was showing! Might try it myself.

https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202304/medium-981694-img-20230427-162957283.jpg https://www.gransnet.com/uploads/talk/202304/medium-139174-img-20230427-114640802-hdr.jpg

Smiles fabulous baking . The scones work as the cream acts as the fat in the recipe and the carbonated water in the lemonade is your raising agent plus the acid in the lemonade reacts with the cream to give them a light texture. I know science stuff but that's what baking is if you don't get your portions of ingredients right hence baking disasters. And had quite a few of those. Two things never work for me muffins and Swiss roll. My muffins end up like rubber balls and my Swiss roll a load of crumbs.

It was 24,° in my greenhouse so taken out the green padding but left the secondary poly sheets in.

Allsorts thank you. It was a hard decision to make but it will be exactly 3 years tomorrow since I saw or spoke to him. The only person hurting was me he sure isn't . So if he ever wants contact he knows where I am. But can't and won't stop loving him and my grandson's. But I love the man he was not is. My daily grief for my husband as you know yourself far our weighs what our children do.

Out to lunch tomorrow with my daughter and grandson's. Then back at nannies for playtime. The youngest has started calling me ninny nannie.

I know I talk about my craft group but they are very important to me. One of ours gang who can only come if she has a day off, but we are all in touch via our what's app group. Brought a load of things from her stash she didn't want,boxes,fabric,wool etc. This is my haul all cross stitch threads and 2 kits . Lucky me. Couldn't remember if I showed you the letter box by me.

Hope you all have the sunshine.

Smileless2012

Can't do links Madgran. You need 700g SR flour, 300 ml of whipping cream and a can of lemonade. Mix together and cook the cut out scones on 220 for about 13 -15 minutes. Sounds weird but it works .

Thanks Smileless. That seems so easy and as I will have a ton of other baking to do (I DO like baking so not really complaining!) its n ice to have such a quick recipe!

The scones work as the cream acts as the fat in the recipe and the carbonated water in the lemonade is your raising agent plus the acid in the lemonade reacts with the cream to give them a light texture

That is interesting to know Whiff. I think if my scones work I might be pontificating to everyone at my tea party about the science of why they are so delicious!!

I went to college and am a trained chef we had to know the science bit as well. I never called myself a chef as it's pompous I was a cook. But can't do all the fancy stuff since the limb jerks started at least the Clonazepam stopped them and the seizures.

With all my falls all my life working in a kitchen was dangerous looking back I must have been mad. 🤦😂

A trained chef. Wow, I'm impressed!