Do you find estrangement is the gift that keeps on giving.....?

My husband would have reacted exactly the same.
Regardless of the circumstances, he would have been so happy to hear our sons voice.

I really appreciate that

Hope things get easier soon

Thank you for your post VioletSky

Mr S would have responded the same way, and I would have felt the same as you
Thank you, I did feel quite badly for admitting how I felt. But we are only human

When they do things like this they arn't worth our tears
My husband said something along those lines.
I have spent my time thinking this person will someday realise we love them, that we did our best, and there would be some kind of rapprochement.
But even though in my heart of hearts I know I still believe /hope that the person I knew as my child is still there, the more time goes by, the more they become some one else.

Love your last two paragraphs. I will take solace from them [floweres]

It sounds like you have a lot on your plate at the moment

I would take a step back until you sort out which feelings belong to which situation

Does your husband have contact with your estranged son? Hard as it is for you, he does have that right to remain in contact withbhis child should he wish and that would be a small positive.

Maybe you need to get some help to process everything that is upsetting you, it's easy to let things snowball and cause difficulties between you and others when there is so much happening

And to answer your question yes, I do find that estrangement is the gift that keeps on giving, a gift I wouldn't give to my worse enemy.

Dear Namsnanny I'm so sorry that you're understandably upset by this.

There was no need for your EAC to 'phone, and having chosen to do so, should have at the very least been polite when you answered the 'phone.

I agree with you 100% "If they want to be estranged then be estranged". It was totally unnecessary to 'phone as as you say, someone who you are in contact with could have let you know and does your DH really have to be contacted to be told about the death of his brother's 4th wife has died? Why didn't his brother contact him if the news is so important that it cannot wait.

After more than seven years of estrangement, I received an email for our ES two days after my mother died!!! I was furious. He'd been estranged from her as long as he'd been estranged from us. It what an intrusion into my grief, and one that he had no right to make.

I hope that by sharing this here you'll feel to some extent unburdened. Try and take on board what Allsorts has said and don't allow this to come between you.

I can see Mr. S. would have responded the same way and if he had, I'd have felt just like you do now.

Don't suggest that family don't talk about your GC, tell them and when they start and ask if you want to see photo's say no and maybe add that you can't believe how crass and insensitive they are by assuming you would.

What's happened since the death of your Aunt is sordid. Unfortunately vultures sometimes gather when there's been a death. You've done nothing wrong so get a police investigation and when it's finished and you've been exonerated, put the entire distasteful experience behind you.

You are coping, you've been coping and will continue to do so. I know you love your EAC, we love our ES but when they can do things like this they are not worth wasting our tears over.

Stay strong. You can do this and as long as you share here, you'll never have to do it alone.

Thank you so much for your reply
dont let it cause trouble between you both
you are so right. We only have each other.
The older we get the more it's true.
I'm just reacting like a selfish child.
But I think Im feeling more balanced now.
I'm so grateful for your reply though, it is so helpful

Namsnanny, so sorry about what’s happened, it’s very cruel. Your husband was just being himself, he couldn't very well have gone for your son with both barrels, so don’t. let it cause trouble between you both. Your son sounds very immature. Just stick together, you have done what you could in relation to your aunt, the other beneficiary should explain their actions to the solicitor, quite out of order and high handed, you should have done it together, tell the solicitor.