Where do I start with all this it could get to be a long post I'll try and keep it short.
Our DD has aways broke my heart in the way she behaves but equally can be the most loving and amazing human being you could ever meet. Now at 32 she's just getting worse and never ever takes responsibility or is sorry for what she does.
We had a residence for our Grandaughter when she was born and played a very active role in her upbringing at times our daughter being very jealous over our relationship. Our GD is now 10 next month and has been torn from us not for the 1st time but for the final time.
Long story short, before covid she reconciled with her brother and they had a great relationship with his long standing girlfriend and my 2 grandsons. My son didn’t like the way a friend was treating his girlfriend and said she wasn’t welcome around his sons. This wasn’t aimed at our DD but she got involved and put a massive wedge between them and her and our GD to the point she verbally attacked our GS.
Over Christmas/NY 2021 she tried to stop us from seeing out GD and at one point made her facetime us to say goodbye, we were heart broken she was only 8.
Every time we do anything she will flare up and we get nasty text messages and regularly disowned as her parents because she cant get her own way. this is aimed at anyone we are close with but a few times our daughter in-law.
This latest time and the worst she has ever been the words I cant repeat they were that bad. We went for a girls night out on the Friday and all had a great time, then mid week it all went wrong, I was told I was being manipulated and the night out proved it as our DD wasn’t allowed anywhere near me all night and she was very upset. This was followed the next day stating our DD needed to borrow a car but needed a big one !! not even asked if it was OK. I'd already promised it to our DS as there's was off the road. I didn't even say no, just its not fair to ask as id already promised it. Our DD became vile towards our DIL calling her some really nasty things through a number of messages and stating that she wasn't to be around our GD, she see's her every week and loves her. I said I wasn't being blackmailed and no I wasn’t prepared to do that. She’s tried it before but never carried it through.
A day or 2 later we got a message saying her car was broke and didn't know what to do and that our GD wanted to see us but didn't want to see our DIL(Who She Adores) . We messaged to say we would collect her from school and see her for tea so that nobody was upset and put in bad situations. We then got a distressed call from our GD asking why she couldn't stop over night, i tried to explain that I was really sorry but couldn't be blackmailed and before I had chance to say anymore or DD starting shouting down the phone and being abusive I was forced to hang up.
Nobody has responded to any messages but things then escalated and she decided our DIL was seeing somebody else and that our DS should be told, she tried to tell him direct but he took no notice, this followed by a post on facebook. It was only a message wishing a chap well !!!. The post on facebook contained abuse towards me as well. All I’ve ever done is to try and love and support all of our children, and did everything by the book as a parent, never did anything wrong. I also received some very vile text messages saying I no longer had a Daughter or Grandaughter and neither of them ever wanted to see me again plus some other very vile words.
I've took the steps to place a report to the police and also Social Services as they have been involved on and off. Plus talking to solicitors to gain access and make sure we have parental responsibility. Non of this our DD knows yet.
Ive had another message this afternoon which I cant read in full but the start was you've made your choice, and that they are both doing well on their own. Our GD is heart broken she's been seen in tears and our DD will be telling her how she should be feeling towards me and her Aunty. Its hard to explain but she’s very controlling.
Outside of this latest incident our DD is very controlling towards our GD and can bellow at her for very simple things. Her neighbours have reported her to social services who took no further action and I believed it when our DD said they were lying which I’m not sure about now. She also smokes a lot of weed, sniffs coke and never pays bills, is driving around in a car with No MOT, Tax or insurance.
She’s been in a number of abusive relationships and we are fearful of her. I hate messages coming in on my phone just in case its her but cant block in case or GD needs us. I’m at a loss what I should do. Do I continue to press charges and go to court and air all the things we know about what she’s doing and done or sit back and wait till it all falls apart for her. I want to send our GD a card and cushion so she knows we are still around but am scared I’ll be abused, how dare I, equally we’ve not seen her for weeks and have had no contact so she’ll be feeling deserted ☹. I’m so lost and broken over all this with no way out as if I give in now there will be a next time.
I’ve got little support and no answers and I really don’t think there are any if I’m honest. I'm scared if I go to court we will lose them both forever.
Nana5150 Wed 03-May-23 17:29:23
Germanshepherdsmum Wed 03-May-23 17:46:12
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