I was supposed to be spending Xmas with my sister, she has a successful stressful job, buts it s also very lucrative, she has been supporting of me since my son died 5 years ago. For a while I wasn’t able to join in much. This year I asked if she’d like me to come for Xmas with her, it’s a 5 hour car journey for us, about and hour for her and her husband and we have a disabled brother, so we would spend Xmas together, we had a cottage booked for a few days, so we had a downstairs toilet for my brother. That’s the basis of what has been planned, a few weeks ago I was quite unwell but feeling much better now. 2 weeks ago she phoned to day she had tennis elbow and it’s very painful which I understand it is, she also has some other ongoing health issues but nothing that stops her working. So she said it may be better to cancel our plans because she’s not well and neither was I at the time and also I mentioned to her I was finding life difficult grieving my son. I had a follow up nurse appt and I was basically given a clean bill of health apart from an ectopic heart beat and I am to go back to see my GP on Thursday.
So last night I messaged and said I’d phone her today and we could talk about Xmas, I was out last night at friends, I checked my phone when I came home and basically got a message saying I’m not listening, I wish you would, she says that a neighbour she used to be close to (but who had moved away about 4 years ago and not really seen her since) was on end of life care and my brother can be difficult to look after, but he would only be with us on Xmas day. That shes got so much work on and her husband is also very tired, he also has a similar job and circumstances, working in a hospice. All of which I know can be highly stressful and particularly this time of year.
So I feel her message was saying I don’t care about what others are going through, god knows I went through hell when my son died of cancer, so I do know how much heartache there is in the world.
Anyway, it’s greatly upset me, I haven’t slept all night, she has has a temper with me before about something and has also fell out with another sister.
I am going to cancel the whole thing and I will spend the day at home with my husband or just try and find a meal somewhere.
I’ve decided not to speak with her today, am I being unreasonable?
She doesn’t have children, when my son was ill she was very good and has been a reasonable support since.
