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Contact after falling out

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Dorrain Sun 31-Dec-23 07:24:54

A high school friend and I fell out about 10 years ago after a 35year friendship. I have just heard from another friend he husband has passed away yesterday after a prolonged battle with cancer.
I would like to send my condolences, the loss she is feeling will be difficult to bear.
I am in two minds as to whether to try and contact her now or should I wait for a few months to allow her time to grieve?

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Urmstongran Wed 03-Jan-24 17:56:34

If in doubt do nowt?

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hollysteers Wed 03-Jan-24 19:02:45

VioletSky

The point is that no matter how good OPs intentions are, it is the recipient whose needs matter more in this situation

If there is any chance a card will not be received well, it should not be sent

I agree. I received a card when my DH died from someone I felt had treated both of us badly and it upset me, reminding me of the break. I did a ‘Diana’ and posted it back to her.

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Patsy70 Wed 03-Jan-24 19:45:38

At times like this, go with your gut instincts, whatever others suggest.

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Urmstongran Wed 03-Jan-24 20:32:24

What did Diana do hollysteers? I’m curious now!

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VioletSky Wed 03-Jan-24 21:21:51

Diana didn't speak to her mother for a few months before she died and sent letters back unopened

I don't know if we ever found out why

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hollysteers Thu 04-Jan-24 13:39:25

Urmstongran

What did Diana do hollysteers? I’m curious now!

Diana was always falling out with family members and if they wrote to her, she, recognising the handwriting, returned their letters unopened.
In my case, I opened the envelope with the card, so I knew who had sent it.

Frankly, the upset is so great at being widowed, I have not looked at the cards at all and just put them aside 😢

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