The next thread for friendship, advice and support if estrangement has affected your life

Bridie22

Does it say that VS?

The opening and subsequent comments are directed towards EPs which is why I ask

A few years ago I came to this site due to being estranged from my grandchild. I received a lot of judgement from some people who knew nothing about my situation but thought they did, and also support from people who knew the nightmare (or most of it) I was going through.

I didn't hang around but sought the help I needed elsewhere.

A few years later and my son is now living with me and we see his child now on a regular basis.

The situation is far from ideal but we are so much further than we were. It is been tough but worth all the heartache.

I haven't had much support apart from close family and friends, but I would love to say to those doubting themselves to keep hope alive, and to those who think they know what people are going through and think it's their own fault, to please be kind and not judge.

It’s good to have support, I don’t go into why my estrangement happened because I honestly don’t know. She thinks she has good reason and you shouldn’t be around people that bring you down as I must have done, it would have been nice to have had the opportunity to put things right but I never got that opportunity. It obviously didn’t happen spur of the moment and must have been brewing for ages It’s been so many years now and I still get down and appreciate this forum.

It's good to learn that the situation for you, your son and your GC has improved and you both get to see him/her on a regular basis keepingquiet.

Keeping hope alive isn't easy but knowing that sometimes things do work out in the end certainly helps.

Sometimes things do pan out, however long it takes. Time is a healer and people do sometimes get to realise what’s important in life. Not always, but sometimes. 🙂

"There are other threads where children who estranged their parents can vent their spleen"
I'm confused also if I am welcome to post on here or not because of this comment from page one? I thought this was a safe space for all "if estrangement has affected your life" ?

Anyone is free to post anywhere in the forums, and on any thread.
It's fairly obvious though, that someone who is having a rough time doesnt want to have to explain in minute detail, and argue with people online about their worries.

Don't think posters need to be estranged to have ' permission ' to post on this thread. I am not estranged but interested and concerned -

It is Otter. This is an open forum so anyone can post on any thread, but we always hope this will be a safe space to give and receive friendship, advice and support.

MissAdventure

Anyone is free to post anywhere in the forums, and on any thread.
It's fairly obvious though, that someone who is having a rough time doesnt want to have to explain in minute detail, and argue with people online about their worries.

Yes, just about using a bit of common sense. 🙂

Exactly DL.

Otter if you are referring to my post. If you need us post freely. Unfortunately we have had 2 posters that appeared on the last thread and are here now. They have been very nasty to us estranged grandparents blaming us for our children not wanting us.

The support thread has helped me since my son estranged me via email in May 2020. And I have found help , support , understanding and more importantly friendship here . It saddens me when I along with my friends are being attacked by people who have their own agenda. But we have had people like this before. This thread has been going I think 11 years but Smiles and Yogin will put me right.

Post what you want and you will be heard . Don't let the nasty posters put you off. Hopefully they will get bore and find others to harass. But hopefully not on threads that will hurt people who are already hurting and dealing with health problems.

@DiamondLily well I did message him when he was likely to have been busy with work but it was important. Yes I’ll leave him now until I speak to him on Saturday then hopefully Sunday will be another positive day .
I’ve decided to take the blame for everything- it’s easier !!
Take care xxx

@Smiles yes you’re right ! I’m not going to contact him now until I see him on the weekend- I’m playing this nice and cool . He was probably busy but I had to ask something important. I do prefer face to face though , I know what to say then …….

Yes 11 years Whiff .

@DiamondLily I will leave him now until the weekend, unless he contacts me . Mind you I’d probably hold off a reply because I’m not risking spoiling any ground I made yesterday. He’s so moody sometimes- typical readhead ! Like his mother haha

@keepingquiet yes it costs nothing to be kind , nobody knows what’s going on behind the scenes do they

Genuinely, I stay away from this thread because estranged children being here upsets people who aren't ready to be around us and appreciate our perspectives on estrangement... Even though they come to our threads and upset themselves there

But I wanted to ask, if support would still be given to all those impacted by estrangement, then I can change my recommendation if not

Thank you

@Allsorts I’m really sorry you’ve had no answers - mind you these things often are the case aren’t they . I’m also sorry that you still feel very low , I can understand this

Ladysuisei

@DiamondLily well I did message him when he was likely to have been busy with work but it was important. Yes I’ll leave him now until I speak to him on Saturday then hopefully Sunday will be another positive day .
I’ve decided to take the blame for everything- it’s easier !!
Take care xxx

You don’t need to take any blame. Just stand back when he’s stressing, and let him sort out his own stresses.

His job is his choice, he (presumably) had a say in his partner being pregnant, so they are his stresses to deal with.

They are both things that most adults have to deal with.

Let him sort it out.🙂

It's irrelevant whether someone posting is an EP, EAC or someone who has no experience of estrangement, it's what's said that sometimes causes upset.

All perspectives are appreciated whether or not they're agreed with as long as they are thoughtfully given. As DL posted earlier, it's "about using a bit of common sense".

There are no 'our' threads, the threads as has already been said here and time and time again on GN, are for everyone who wishes to post on them.

The question as has been asked and answered VS as it is every time you ask it.

No, that's not my experience

No matter how polite, something is found to be twisted or misunderstood or otherwise vilified.

Anyway I will go now, this isn't the right thread for me and I know I am not wanted here and feel like an intruder

Well, yes, and it’s about the here and now.

I estranged my ex MIL, well over 40 years ago, and I’m fine with that.

But, I don’t keep posting about it…..I can barely deal with last month, let alone old history. She’s long dead, and I rarely even think about it now.😗

I post about the here and now. 🙂