Support and friendship For Those Estranged

Good afternoon all. 🙂. I’ve not been on this thread for a while, because after losing DH, the aggro with my stepkids, and nearly 2 years of stress with the Family Court, regarding GGD, once they all got sorted out, in a positive way, I felt I needed to take some time out from everything to just mourn/start to recover from losing my DH. For 18 months, (yeah, it’s been that long!) , it’s been buried under everything else.🤷‍♀️

And, I have. I didn’t want counselling (my idea of hell lol) and I didn’t want meds, so I just worked through the initial process.

(Either/both of the above might work for others - but not for me.)

One way and another, I’m getting there. My ex is still the cross I have to bear/pander to - his latest bright idea is that we airbrush the last 24 years - (my life with DH), out of the picture, and just pick up where we left off lol 😂……er, no.🙄

But, you know, I just laugh, change the subject, and keep the happy family routine on the road. I don’t want him estranging our ACs again.😗

Anyway, hope everyone is doing well…and on we all press.🙂

Your post about your brother made me laugh Whiff and reminded me of that joke about the world falling out of your bottom, rather than the bottom falling out of your world after eating a hot curry.

You're right about milk but I doubt they'd have brought him a glass if he'd asked.

Smiles think Mr S would have been better having milk as that kills the burn better than water. My brother used to love very hot vindaloo's but had to give them up. Sorry if anyone is offended but when I asked why he said his arse couldn't take the burn coming out. That's my brother for you . Who I love to bits .

Suddenly remembered who the artist was who painted it was Purplepixie. Not sure if she had some of her poems or writing published or it could have been someone else. 🤔

Yogin hope your son tidies up for you this weekend. Only give your horrible neighbour something to complain about.

Hope all goes ok Babs

Thanks Smiles Unfortunately, nothing to be done aside from having a proper driveway put in, but will have to wait till the new people move in and discuss it with them. My son now needs to hurry up and finish what he has started, so it all looks neat & tidy when they do move in.

Morning everyone, well it's definitely feeling autumnal here this morning but we've had some lovely weather so far this week.

Mr. S. has done a great job with the garden and we were so pleased with a beautiful grass we bought and a fabulous big blue pot to put it in, that before he came back from bowls yesterday, he popped into the garden centre and bought another one.

Had our first evening out in the lovely market town we've always loved, a lovely meal in a Thai restaurant recommended to us by the owner of the Thai restaurant we used to go too.

Mr. S. had a 'weeping tiger' which when asked, he said he wanted it medium spicy and when it came it was very spicy, his eyes began to water and he had to ask for a glass. Said next time he'll ask for mild, he enjoyed it and having just sampled a tiny bit, I've no idea how he managed to eat it.

Thinking of you Babs

Afternoon everyone.

Hope everything goes OK tomorrow Babs, you'll be in my thoughts .

Good job you have your son with you Yogin ans what an added bonus that he enjoys knocking things down. I bet he wishes to could extend that to your awful neighbour .

Well I think it's a case of anti social behaviour Yogin which is causing distress, alarm and/or harassment, so I would go to the police and report it.

Another one here who wants to see pics of this exhibition Whiff so please don't disappoint .

I think it was here on this thread Ruby that I saw the phrase 'reluctant acceptance' which for me sums it up perfectly. It's not something we want to accept but there does come a time for us all when it's the only realistic option we have.

Thanks for good wishes.
Are setting off soon, wanted to miss the rush hour.
Will get back in a few days xx

Thanks Allsorts but as I've said; nothing can be done, as he is not breaking the law. My son knocking the front garden wall done; so that it is a make shift driveway, which many have done down this road and people are courteous in not parking over their makeshift [not professionally done] driveways, but my neighbour will not be!

Just got to get my son to finish the blooming job now and tidy it all up and make it look like a driveway. My son loves knocking things down, but is slow in completing the tidy up

Yes, it would be lovely to see your artwork Whiff, good luck with it all.

I was chatting with a long-time student of mine, before my class began. She is expecting her first grandchild, her daughter also comes to my classes from time to time. Another student who is 9mnths pregnant joined in with our discussion and ended by saying 'oh, can I have you as my birth partner' because I had said I was birth partner to my 2 Ds and their 2 babies each.

The way I speak, all think I only have 1 DD & 2 GDs, plus my son. So, she was puzzled when I said I had been birth partner to 4 babies being born. She asked, so were you birth partner to friends as well then I answered no, just my GC. I then started the class, so end of conversation.

I hope it went over the others heads or they forget about it by next week, so I'm not quizzed about the D&GC I've never spoken about!

Awful Ruby. It's in fashion to cut out your M&D, and siblings if the later don't toe the line. I just wonder, in the future, this whole generation of 'getting rid', what will be the consequences. With every action, there is a reaction.

He would just move or nick the traffic cones, there's no stopping him. I've heard of this sort of dispute which has ended in one neighbour killing the other and I believe the other neighbour, it wasn't that long ago, maybe last year or year before.

Enjoy your garden making Mr.S. When I first moved in here there wasn't a single plant, now 2.5yrs on I have made it look lovely with lots of new plants now establishing, hard work, but enjoyable, now it's just upkeep.

Yoga, First and foremost you need a dropped kerb, get your MP on it, contact your local newspaper if you have one, photograph the vehicles from every angle, the other side if the road for example. Get the Cam footage. Pretend it’s your job and you're being paid for results. He is just a vile bully and I hope you get justice. Like Bridie said, you need the Biglads. Bullies are just cowards.
Babs, as Whiff said really, it will be bittersweet.
Ruby, good for you, you will have odd wavering moments but they pass, they can’t hurt you any more than you have been, do things that make you happy,

Bridie22

What a nasty piece of work your neighbour is Yogi, very selfish, I suppose you have spoken to the highways dept, council, traffic wardens etc.
Personally I would get the bigblads in and move his car 🙂

Thanks Birdie & Babs

Yes, lots of emails to the 'Highways Dept', lots of discussions on phone, they say they are sympathetic but he is not breaking the law as anyone can park where he is. A good neighbour wouldn't do what he is doing; which is making sure only he has a space to park his cars!

Babs incase I forget tomorrow hope your friends funeral goes well and the sunshines . It will be a day of sadness but also joy with everyone remembering you friend with smiles and laugh and remember whens . Tears of course but how many people's life's she touched and what she meant to them . Things her children never knew about . She will leave a hole on people's life's but they like you will be glad that you had her for as long as you did. Time is relative it's the quality of that time that counts. 🌹

'New crafts to get into' is the thread.

Babs will do. It still makes me laugh our teacher calls us artists. The others yes but me I just play. Hope you try out some different classes. It's not just fun and social but you forget all your aches and pains and any worries .

Can't remember her name but a regular poster was an artist and her work was beautiful.

Smiles sings pity we can't get sound as I would love to hear her sing especially as she was learning opera.

There is a thread on arts and crafts forum with people showing their work such a talented bunch and a wide variety of crafts .

Whiff can you photograph your exhibition and post on here, would love to see it. Am interested to know what gel printing looks like.
A friend of mine went to a stained glass class and made a beautiful picture, another did decorative eggs. I think when we move I will sign up for some classes like this, would love to make something, and of course meet new people.

@Whiff

Thank you for your kindness. It is a comfort to know that others have come out the other side of this.

Yogin your neighbour is a piece of work. Glad you talked to your other neighbour and told her how he parked . Good thinking having a door cam.

Smiles your garden will look beautiful as Mr S is a perfectionist and you will have all year colour . And he might try his hand at growing some veg . They can be grown in pots I grow dwarf beans,tomatoes outside and in my greenhouse, kale and chard outside . I have 2 raised planters one with herbs and the other alpines.

Ruby reading your post fills me with joy. And you have turned a very hard corner . But you now value yourselves as parents . And know you are not at fault .

Next week is my last gel printing class as our teacher is going to uni to do her masters. But we have our exhibition on the 1st until the 12th. And we have planned to meet up for lunch the Wednesday after our exhibition opens. As none of my group live over my side I suggested the Whetherspoons as the food is good and within everyone's price range and it's a nice pub.

@Smileless2012

the certainty that the relationship is over takes the place of the uncertainty and for me, that's when my healing really began.

Thank you, that's such a helpful thought. We had that moment when we realised it was over and it actually gave me 'permission' to find a way out, a way to move on from the many months of abuse.

We are seeing daylight and realising that despite EAC deciding I deserved to take whatever is thrown at me because, in their eyes I'm so awful, I don't have to listen to the senseless diatribes any more.

They'll have to find a new target.

You need to send copies of those photo's to any department that maybe able to act and keep on pestering them until someone sorts him out*Yogin*.

You can buy traffic cones on line and with him being such an a... hole if you do get some, find a way of securing them so he can't pinch them.

Spent a small fortune at a garden centre this morning so Mr. S. can get started on making our immediate outside space look lovely. Bless him, he really missed not having a garden at our other house but always managed to make the roof terrace look fab, so he's in his element right now and has even managed to get his knees dirty .

What a nasty piece of work your neighbour is Yogi, very selfish, I suppose you have spoken to the highways dept, council, traffic wardens etc.
Personally I would get the bigblads in and move his car 🙂

Yoginimeisje

Above picture shows his van in front of my property & his caravan on his driveway, with a big parking space in front of his van, left empty that only he can use!

What a Wally. The pic shows his car/van in front of what I assume is your parking space. Some people buy traffic cones to put in front of their space. Am not sure where you can but them but might be worth a try.
X

Above picture shows his van in front of my property & his caravan on his driveway, with a big parking space in front of his van, left empty that only he can use!

Sorry to go on about my parking situation

We already have a dropped curb into the parking bay, we just need to tidy up the front of our [upstairs] garden, to slop neatly down to the path/curb, which it is level with already.

I saw my neighbour yesterday and pointed out how near dickheads car was parked to their new car, yet having about 10ft in front, so no need for it! She hadn't realised and asked if I had door-Cam footage, unfortunately I had just cleared it, but will save next time.